The Grill Master and His son:
Jimmy is back home! He came home mid-morning on Wednesday and their first meal together at the dinner table with their son(s) (my other brother still lives at home) home, pizza! They broke bread together under the doughy love of Chicago pizza!
Jimmy starts outpatient therapy next week and the plan is that should continue until September. At this point, like I've said before, I would wonder. He's made such amazing strides, it may be reduced, but we'll talk about that when that moment comes up.
He got to spend his first night home, in my parents home, laying in a comfortable bed, windows open, the breeze of the evening softly dancing around his room, the hum of the fan near bedside acting as background music to the rumbling of the thunderclouds that rolled through the nights sky sometime Wednesday night.
A wonderful feeling.
No annoying sounds. No beeping. No nurses clip clopping past his doorway to check in on him. No voices directed to other patients on his floor.
Just a comfortable big bed. A breeze. Some thunderclouds and rain to balance the humming of the fan and the mixture of the soft wind.
He still gets headaches, and too much stimulation is not good for him. He still can't eat too many crunchy things as it hurts his jaw (and orbital bones-remember he broke all of those in the accident)
He can walk on his own. He can walk into the bathroom without a nurse, or someone hovering over him. He doesn't need to have help with showering. He can do it all on his own. He doesn't need nursing care, doesn't need hovering care, just loving supervision. His filter for saying what he thinks is still amplified, so he's far more direct and will say whatever he thinks without thinking first, but that's all part of the brain injury. He smiles. He hugs. He laughes. He gets mad. He's brutally honest and he is home. He is walking without assistance. He still has the eye patch on, and without it will get horrible double vision, but if you could see him walking around, you wouldn't have know that he was involved in a car accident with a semi that was going (speed limit??) about 40+ mph and couldn't stop in time therefore slamming into Jimmy's drivers side door of the company (FORD!!) truck that he was in. (My parents plumbing company). You would look at me and say, "no way!" 3 weeks and a few days after that day he was discovered in the passenger side of the truck that was laying on it's side, his body most likely posturing, his one pupil dilated, and blood and broken glass and other awful things surrounding him. Except that he also had G-d with him. Time was working in his favor and he had all the right people that came to his aid that moment. Awful but Wonderful.
Matter of fact when I stopped by my parents home last night, he had just had a nice stroll along the sidewalks of my parents street. He was standing outside, the smell of something familiar hidden by my parents vehicles had crept its way towards my nose, and as I got closer, it was then that I realized they were standing side by side, my dad at the Weber grill. The smell of one of Jim's favorite dishes, my dad's famous BBQ grilled chicken, wafted up between their conversation, and, well, it was another magical moment that I tucked up inside my own 3lb brain. To see my brother standing alongside my dad, standing alongside my dad, while my dad was in grill-master mode, was something I wish I had a camera for.
To capture the essence of that moment, the perfect calm that image offered.
Father and Son.
A beautiful evening with 80 degree temperatures.
A moment that back on May 26th, I feared I'd never witness again.
Another moment.
Thank you!
Showing posts with label JIMMY'S JOURNEY. Show all posts
Showing posts with label JIMMY'S JOURNEY. Show all posts
Friday, June 19, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Damn The Pam
Jimmy is doing better. He still has some issues with short term memory. He will occasionally jumble up his words, he still has double vision and dizziness and his platelet count is high, but they're giving him aspirin to help with that. Balancing everything out that's the trick.
Sort of like life. You have to learn to balance it.
One of the therapists that Jimmy is working with put him through a round of different "tests." One went something like this: the bank closes at 4:o0pm, the party is at 6:00pm, you need to pick up the cake before the party but you need to get money out of the bank. Don't forget to get to the post office to mail some packages, but you'll want to be there before the rush period."
Or something like this,
"what weighs more a feather or a rock?"
No matter what your answer may be, and trust me, Jimmy's answer was H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S! He told them, "it all depends on what type of feather you're talking about, because based on the size of the rock and whatever type of feather you have, a feather can weigh more then a rock."
Balance and using your mind to juggle life.
For me it's different then Jimmy. Jimmy's journey is a goal to be independent someday. They say maybe September. They say that if he keeps up the strides, or as everyone is saying from the day of the accident, 10:37am May 26th, Divine Intervention, he'll be outpatient by next week. Even the doctors are whispering the big DI! Doctors don't use that term, e.v.e.r!
In all this though, I have to give a serious intense and amazing shout out to my parents. Jimmy will have to move back home, that in itself is a journey. Jimmy is stubborn, wants to do things his own ways, likes to make his own rules and doesn't always do as he's told. (Sounds like his big sister!) He'll need 24/7 supervision and it's not like my parents are going to hire a nurse. They don't operate like that. So they will do it. We will do it. There is a reason that G-d gave them 5 children, to help out their sibling so that they may rest.
They'll need baby monitors and gates. Possibly a hospital bed. They have a business to run and now a son to care for. It's a long road for them and I pray to G-d that he watches over both of them and helps keep them from feeling overwhelmed.
Jimmy's goal is to be out on his own again, but he's still not there yet. Each day he looks better, and believe it or not but once his hair grows out you will probably never see the big scare along the left side of his face from the middle near his ear clear up like a right angle just beyond the hair line. It turns out he even had a bruise on his brain stem. Do you know how close he came to dying? Once the brain stem is impacted, or lacerated, severed, you expire. He just got a bruise. A reminder at how gentle life is, how quick it can be taken from you.
He's probably online right now as we speak, chatting on his facebook page, getting ready to tell his story. I can't wait to read it, he is one amazing writer!
Now, for the title? DAMN THE PAM?
Well that would be because, sigh,..I must be ovulating because my left ovary is really really hurting. My amazing doc said this period will be really nasty because of the surgery, but ouch. I will be taking some meds to cease my period for the next few months. If the pain goes away then we'll know for 100% that it is my uterus and we'll have to go from there at that point. Take it out? You never truly know if there's something "in there" (inside joke Florida vacation with my girlfriends), until they go in and biopsy it and possibly remove it. Not going to think about that, face it or even worry about it now because I am needed for so many other things.
Plus I am happy to report that Brian's sister's mass is benign! More good news.
So, Damn The Pam, screw her if she's going to be difficult this cycle, I'll show her by not letting her visit me at all, removing myself from the map for a few months.
Oh, one more thing, if you would, visit the link called "anna's hope." If you scroll down you'll see the link on the right side of the page. A local young woman suffering from a disease that doesn't usually strike someone at the age of 17. There is a fundraiser for her and all I ask is your visits to the site and some prayers. She's someone local and has touched many hearts.
Keep the prayers and until then remember that sex means that someones hot.
DAMN THE PAM, You're HOT!
Sort of like life. You have to learn to balance it.
One of the therapists that Jimmy is working with put him through a round of different "tests." One went something like this: the bank closes at 4:o0pm, the party is at 6:00pm, you need to pick up the cake before the party but you need to get money out of the bank. Don't forget to get to the post office to mail some packages, but you'll want to be there before the rush period."
Or something like this,
"what weighs more a feather or a rock?"
No matter what your answer may be, and trust me, Jimmy's answer was H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S! He told them, "it all depends on what type of feather you're talking about, because based on the size of the rock and whatever type of feather you have, a feather can weigh more then a rock."
Balance and using your mind to juggle life.
For me it's different then Jimmy. Jimmy's journey is a goal to be independent someday. They say maybe September. They say that if he keeps up the strides, or as everyone is saying from the day of the accident, 10:37am May 26th, Divine Intervention, he'll be outpatient by next week. Even the doctors are whispering the big DI! Doctors don't use that term, e.v.e.r!
In all this though, I have to give a serious intense and amazing shout out to my parents. Jimmy will have to move back home, that in itself is a journey. Jimmy is stubborn, wants to do things his own ways, likes to make his own rules and doesn't always do as he's told. (Sounds like his big sister!) He'll need 24/7 supervision and it's not like my parents are going to hire a nurse. They don't operate like that. So they will do it. We will do it. There is a reason that G-d gave them 5 children, to help out their sibling so that they may rest.
They'll need baby monitors and gates. Possibly a hospital bed. They have a business to run and now a son to care for. It's a long road for them and I pray to G-d that he watches over both of them and helps keep them from feeling overwhelmed.
Jimmy's goal is to be out on his own again, but he's still not there yet. Each day he looks better, and believe it or not but once his hair grows out you will probably never see the big scare along the left side of his face from the middle near his ear clear up like a right angle just beyond the hair line. It turns out he even had a bruise on his brain stem. Do you know how close he came to dying? Once the brain stem is impacted, or lacerated, severed, you expire. He just got a bruise. A reminder at how gentle life is, how quick it can be taken from you.
He's probably online right now as we speak, chatting on his facebook page, getting ready to tell his story. I can't wait to read it, he is one amazing writer!
Now, for the title? DAMN THE PAM?
Well that would be because, sigh,..I must be ovulating because my left ovary is really really hurting. My amazing doc said this period will be really nasty because of the surgery, but ouch. I will be taking some meds to cease my period for the next few months. If the pain goes away then we'll know for 100% that it is my uterus and we'll have to go from there at that point. Take it out? You never truly know if there's something "in there" (inside joke Florida vacation with my girlfriends), until they go in and biopsy it and possibly remove it. Not going to think about that, face it or even worry about it now because I am needed for so many other things.
Plus I am happy to report that Brian's sister's mass is benign! More good news.
So, Damn The Pam, screw her if she's going to be difficult this cycle, I'll show her by not letting her visit me at all, removing myself from the map for a few months.
Oh, one more thing, if you would, visit the link called "anna's hope." If you scroll down you'll see the link on the right side of the page. A local young woman suffering from a disease that doesn't usually strike someone at the age of 17. There is a fundraiser for her and all I ask is your visits to the site and some prayers. She's someone local and has touched many hearts.
Keep the prayers and until then remember that sex means that someones hot.
DAMN THE PAM, You're HOT!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Drama Seekers Nothing To See Here
Jimmy has been discharged from the hospital and is now inpatient in a rehabilitation center about 1mile from my home. Jimmy's journey continues. It's a long journey, he needs help with walking, he needs occupational therapy, possibly speech therapy (not confirmed, just a guess), physical therapy and whatever else therapy that they do after a massive brain injury. But he's here.
I had to see my gyne yesterday, and the first thing he said when he walked into the room was, "I hear your brother is making miracles." Small worlds are always noticed when tragic moments occur. Turns out the day that Jimmy's name was mentioned in a beautiful Catholic church in another town from mine, he and his wife were there for a last minute early morning Mass. Before he had to come to the hospital and do the rounds and see one of his patients, me.
Since being discharged from the hospital he's been checking with the Deacon to see how Jimmy is doing. A doctor that has done amazing things for my aunts and I, yet never has met my brother. Truly a wonderful man. He even said, "here on out, if something comes up with you, make sure you have whatever doctor that is on call contact me right away, you have my direct line too."
As far as my female parts go, well, we're going to see what happens when my body stops having periods. If the pain stops, then we'll know for certain without more invasive surgeries, that it's my uterus that is the culprit.
As I type this right now, my sister in law is in surgery. We'll know in a couple of hours whether or not she has lymphoma. The mass is about 2inches at the back of her throat up by her sinuses. My heart breaks for her Mom, the fear that she must be feeling. My heart goes out to her husband, he loves her so much.
In times like these, when the bubble bursts around you and you realize that the only thing that truly protects you is G-D's Will, it makes you realize that any other drama is just a waste of breath. People say things out of anger because they allow their emotions to control their thoughts. Words that are captured face to face, on paper or by phone seem to make a major dent in someones life, until something like this happens.
One of my posts was mentioned on an estrangement site awhile back, and I've been thinking about estrangement because of what happened to my brother, Jimmy. Estrangement to me, is dismissed and determined unnecessary when something like this happens. All of the past hurts mean nothing. All that matters is that I want my family to support one another when something like this happens. It could be asking for too much, we all have different expectations with ourselves and more so with other people, we can at many times set the bar too high in what we expect others to give to us, but to me, with all of this, when this bubble popped right in my face, it was my family that came to be there. It was my family that came upstairs and sat with me because I was unable to join them. It was my family that offered help, prayers, meals, babysitting, you name it. No matter what had happened in the past, to me it means nothing.
You know why? Because if you were in my parents shoes, if you were in my brother's shoes, if you were in my shoe's, going through something like this, I would be there in a heart beat no matter what words were said in the past. Because the past just doesn't matter anymore when someones future could possibly be taken away.
I keep saying family did this, because I have to say that I learned through all of this, all of my friends that came to help and support and pray and offer wonderful words of peace, they too are my family.
Now we wait to see what G-d has in store for my sister in law. Brian's only sister. Brian's only sibling. My heart goes out to Brian as he is up here helping his wife, children and other family, versus being down in Florida with his only sister, showing her the same support that he showed me.
Keep the prayers coming.
I don't know why I titled that, "Drama Seekers Nothing To See Here," just sounded appropriate.
I had to see my gyne yesterday, and the first thing he said when he walked into the room was, "I hear your brother is making miracles." Small worlds are always noticed when tragic moments occur. Turns out the day that Jimmy's name was mentioned in a beautiful Catholic church in another town from mine, he and his wife were there for a last minute early morning Mass. Before he had to come to the hospital and do the rounds and see one of his patients, me.
Since being discharged from the hospital he's been checking with the Deacon to see how Jimmy is doing. A doctor that has done amazing things for my aunts and I, yet never has met my brother. Truly a wonderful man. He even said, "here on out, if something comes up with you, make sure you have whatever doctor that is on call contact me right away, you have my direct line too."
As far as my female parts go, well, we're going to see what happens when my body stops having periods. If the pain stops, then we'll know for certain without more invasive surgeries, that it's my uterus that is the culprit.
As I type this right now, my sister in law is in surgery. We'll know in a couple of hours whether or not she has lymphoma. The mass is about 2inches at the back of her throat up by her sinuses. My heart breaks for her Mom, the fear that she must be feeling. My heart goes out to her husband, he loves her so much.
In times like these, when the bubble bursts around you and you realize that the only thing that truly protects you is G-D's Will, it makes you realize that any other drama is just a waste of breath. People say things out of anger because they allow their emotions to control their thoughts. Words that are captured face to face, on paper or by phone seem to make a major dent in someones life, until something like this happens.
One of my posts was mentioned on an estrangement site awhile back, and I've been thinking about estrangement because of what happened to my brother, Jimmy. Estrangement to me, is dismissed and determined unnecessary when something like this happens. All of the past hurts mean nothing. All that matters is that I want my family to support one another when something like this happens. It could be asking for too much, we all have different expectations with ourselves and more so with other people, we can at many times set the bar too high in what we expect others to give to us, but to me, with all of this, when this bubble popped right in my face, it was my family that came to be there. It was my family that came upstairs and sat with me because I was unable to join them. It was my family that offered help, prayers, meals, babysitting, you name it. No matter what had happened in the past, to me it means nothing.
You know why? Because if you were in my parents shoes, if you were in my brother's shoes, if you were in my shoe's, going through something like this, I would be there in a heart beat no matter what words were said in the past. Because the past just doesn't matter anymore when someones future could possibly be taken away.
I keep saying family did this, because I have to say that I learned through all of this, all of my friends that came to help and support and pray and offer wonderful words of peace, they too are my family.
Now we wait to see what G-d has in store for my sister in law. Brian's only sister. Brian's only sibling. My heart goes out to Brian as he is up here helping his wife, children and other family, versus being down in Florida with his only sister, showing her the same support that he showed me.
Keep the prayers coming.
I don't know why I titled that, "Drama Seekers Nothing To See Here," just sounded appropriate.
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
More About Jimmy's Journey
He's off the ventilator! He's breathing on his own. He's talking. He knows who Brian and I am. He even said our names. Jimmy's Journey is still on!
What a marvelous thing!
Then, I get home from the hospital, from leaving the ICU ward, and on the table in my family room sits "THE 100 MOST IMPORTANT BIBLE VERSES FOR WOMEN." I didn't take that book out. It was in my keepsake stack on top of my dresser.
My mother in law didn't bring it downstairs today. My Jewish babysitter didn't bring it downstairs. I didn't bring it downstairs. Brian didn't either. My kids get into everything, but never that stack of books on my dresser.
It had to have been one of them, but, they never mess with those books. Leave it out, downstairs, open to this, "We have troubles all around us, but we are not defeated. We do not know what to do, but we do not give up the hope of living. We are persecuted, but God does not leave us. We are hurt sometimes, but we are not destroyed." 2 Corinthians 4:8-9
Sure it didn't just magically appear there, it was carried by one of my babes..and God does his best work through his little ones.
I ask that we pray for my sister in law, as she found out during a routine surgical test that she has a 2inch mass at the back of her throat near her sinuses. Her surgery is June 10th. More challenges. I trust G-d that he will handle all my problems. I just have to trust him.
Scary not knowing.
But my faith that I thought I had, was wayyyy off. To think I JUST.FINISHED.READING.THE.SHACK! For those of you that have read it, you know what I mean.
Everything lines up for a reason.
A woman not getting pregnant, then having diagnostic surgery to see why, and finding a mass at the back of her throat. Yet her "female pipes" look great. G-d led them to infertility to discover this new thing.
Everything has a path. We are all being drawn by something.
My Dad being drawn to the very road where my brother's accident was, when he couldn't reach Jimmy on the two way radio for work. Seeing the snare of cars on the road that was closed for 4hours, then turning around to head in the direction of the hospital, not yet knowing that my brother was on his way there, and getting the call from my Mom that Jimmy had been in a serious car accident.
Me hearing "CODE YELLOW EMERGENCY ROOM" while in my own hospital bed, on the phone with my mom saying, "ohh, a code yellow, that's trauma, someone is coming in with trauma, that poor family."
That family turned out to be us. It was my brother they were talking about.
Hearing from a paramedic that works in the town that responded to the accident that it's almost impossible to see that he survived. Someone was definitely with him that day. It wasn't his time.
The paramedic seeing gasoline seeping out everywhere and not waiting like usual for the fire truck. He took a chance. Ran into the wreckage, took down the windshield and climbed in and knew that my brother was in trouble.
All of it being led.
One of the best neurosurgeons you could get that just so "happened to be there that day."
The truck driver that ran into Jimmy's drivers side door avoiding swerving into a smaller compact car, saving whom ever was in that car.
Everything being led.
Our amazing community that has come together through this.
Our family that has pretty much rejoined. Whether it stays this way or not I don't know, but what I do know is that I am enjoying this moment for however long it's given to me, because I know, now with life, how precious it is, and how in a moments notice, it's taken. Broken. Shattered. A moment passes and so do people. Each can be appreciated for when it's gone you'll have only the memories. I'd rather have quality then quantity.
Enjoying my moments and trying to get the nightmares to stop at night. Course they just started, so I won't go into this thinking that I'll have another one. I'll try hard and leave the work up to HIM.
Time for rest, it's been a long day. But Jimmy's Journey continues..
It continues...
What a marvelous thing!
Then, I get home from the hospital, from leaving the ICU ward, and on the table in my family room sits "THE 100 MOST IMPORTANT BIBLE VERSES FOR WOMEN." I didn't take that book out. It was in my keepsake stack on top of my dresser.
My mother in law didn't bring it downstairs today. My Jewish babysitter didn't bring it downstairs. I didn't bring it downstairs. Brian didn't either. My kids get into everything, but never that stack of books on my dresser.
It had to have been one of them, but, they never mess with those books. Leave it out, downstairs, open to this, "We have troubles all around us, but we are not defeated. We do not know what to do, but we do not give up the hope of living. We are persecuted, but God does not leave us. We are hurt sometimes, but we are not destroyed." 2 Corinthians 4:8-9
Sure it didn't just magically appear there, it was carried by one of my babes..and God does his best work through his little ones.
I ask that we pray for my sister in law, as she found out during a routine surgical test that she has a 2inch mass at the back of her throat near her sinuses. Her surgery is June 10th. More challenges. I trust G-d that he will handle all my problems. I just have to trust him.
Scary not knowing.
But my faith that I thought I had, was wayyyy off. To think I JUST.FINISHED.READING.THE.SHACK! For those of you that have read it, you know what I mean.
Everything lines up for a reason.
A woman not getting pregnant, then having diagnostic surgery to see why, and finding a mass at the back of her throat. Yet her "female pipes" look great. G-d led them to infertility to discover this new thing.
Everything has a path. We are all being drawn by something.
My Dad being drawn to the very road where my brother's accident was, when he couldn't reach Jimmy on the two way radio for work. Seeing the snare of cars on the road that was closed for 4hours, then turning around to head in the direction of the hospital, not yet knowing that my brother was on his way there, and getting the call from my Mom that Jimmy had been in a serious car accident.
Me hearing "CODE YELLOW EMERGENCY ROOM" while in my own hospital bed, on the phone with my mom saying, "ohh, a code yellow, that's trauma, someone is coming in with trauma, that poor family."
That family turned out to be us. It was my brother they were talking about.
Hearing from a paramedic that works in the town that responded to the accident that it's almost impossible to see that he survived. Someone was definitely with him that day. It wasn't his time.
The paramedic seeing gasoline seeping out everywhere and not waiting like usual for the fire truck. He took a chance. Ran into the wreckage, took down the windshield and climbed in and knew that my brother was in trouble.
All of it being led.
One of the best neurosurgeons you could get that just so "happened to be there that day."
The truck driver that ran into Jimmy's drivers side door avoiding swerving into a smaller compact car, saving whom ever was in that car.
Everything being led.
Our amazing community that has come together through this.
Our family that has pretty much rejoined. Whether it stays this way or not I don't know, but what I do know is that I am enjoying this moment for however long it's given to me, because I know, now with life, how precious it is, and how in a moments notice, it's taken. Broken. Shattered. A moment passes and so do people. Each can be appreciated for when it's gone you'll have only the memories. I'd rather have quality then quantity.
Enjoying my moments and trying to get the nightmares to stop at night. Course they just started, so I won't go into this thinking that I'll have another one. I'll try hard and leave the work up to HIM.
Time for rest, it's been a long day. But Jimmy's Journey continues..
It continues...
Thursday, May 28, 2009
JIMMY
Jimmy's heart got a little funny tonight, turns out he was dehydrated so they made sure he had enough IV fluids. His fever is down to 100.7. The doctor is not going to do a catscan tonight. He did squeeze both my mom and dad's hand today. Although the doctor will not count that as progress as it wasn't a command, their hands embraced.The (temporal sp) muscle in his eye is torn and that as I mentioned earlier, along with the fractures around the eyes and cheek. The nurse told me tonight, his amazing wonderful nurse- who ironically knew him in HS- told Brian and I tonight while we were in his room, that the pain he will be feeling now is not in the area where his brain surgery was. That pain particular pain should be eased somewhat. The pain he will be feeling is around his eyes, his sinus, his cheeks. It's awful pain, but he is strong.
The brain fluid that they drain on the hour with the tube, is fairly clear. It does have a light pink tint to it, but that's not a concern to them. Another day has gone by. Jimmy we love you so so so much.Keep the strength for when you need it. Stay peaceful when you can. We are all around you holding you up. You are strong because we all have you.WE LOVE YOU!
The brain fluid that they drain on the hour with the tube, is fairly clear. It does have a light pink tint to it, but that's not a concern to them. Another day has gone by. Jimmy we love you so so so much.Keep the strength for when you need it. Stay peaceful when you can. We are all around you holding you up. You are strong because we all have you.WE LOVE YOU!
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