Saturday, November 14, 2009

8 IS GREAT!

Today my oldest is 8.
Crap, he's 8!
Well, around 43oish he'll officially be 8!
4:23 I think. Have to double check on the time, but it was around 4 that they delivered him by c-section and quickly placed him on my chest.

Wow!
8!
I woke up seeing him voting, dating, HS, college, driving, drinking, and he's only just 8!
It's not because I am wishing the time away, it's more that time is doing that for me.
Moving along, no matter how many wishes to hold it back.
It just keeps moving.

He's happy and that's good.
He's a wonderful boy with a terrific mind-an engineering mind-so he- G-d Willing, will go far.

It's just hard to believe that in 2 years we'll have a son in double digits! We really need to start saving for his Bar Mitzvah!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some Lego gifts to wrap!

Enjoy your little ones while you can because time doesn't stop.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIL MAN! I'll NEVER FORGET THAT FIRST MOMENT WE SAW YOU!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

MOM OF THE YEAR

Let's see, so far, since last post here's a few of "whats doings?":

  • had a few colitis attacks
  • threatened my youngest when he wasn't listening by meowing (he's terrified of cats)
  • ended up on the very last inch of our king size bed due to Marina in the middle and Ben smashed up against me (karma for the kitty, I guess)
  • Had a can of coke-(I'm assuming that didn't help the attacks)
  • managed to have constipation and diarrhea in one sitting (impressive, huh?)
  • sang happy birthday to Marina, because she turned one on Nov the 7Th (she also got a cookie cake bone treat, a soccer ball squeaker, and two big bones)
  • helped out in Sullivan's classroom
  • got raving reviews on Jack, Sully's and Ben's parent teacher conferences (which means that suddenly I'm seeing Jackson at NASA, Sullivan winning LAST COMIC STANDING, and Ben, THE CEO OF RED BULL-all that from little preschool and elementary school conferences)
  • cried during the Veterans day Ceremony that Jack and Sully's school had this morning
  • spent time with my Mom
  • spent time with my brother, Jimmy, IN HIS NEW PLACE!!
  • started planning Jack's birthday party (he turns 8 this Saturday), but then decided to hold off on the kid version of his party (we just finally had Sullivan's birthday kid party-only 3months later)
  • farted and blamed the dog
  • dreamed about playing barbies
  • had a normal Period (well, my sort of PAM normal, but it felt good to hurt, if that makes sense?)
  • realized how much I miss my Maternal Grandma on her birthday (Nov 7th)
  • spoke with my cousin from AZ (the cousin who's mom just passed away)
  • "made" Jackson do his extra credit weekend homework
  • assumed the scapegoat role for Jackson (he's teaching me how to handle conflict, fancy that!)

AND LASTLY?:

  • Made certain to implement my "play on words" with Sullivan during an "interrogation lesson." Why? Because Marina had walked up to me smelling like blueberry chap stick, and I happened to notice blue markings on her tan fur, so when I asked Sullivan what that was all about, he claimed he didn't know. Out came the "play on words," and I said, "now Sullivan, you DO know that I have cameras in my head, and that if I need to, I can play them back to see something that happened, even if I wasn't right there when it happened. Do you want to tell me the real truth on what happened, or do you want me to consult my mind cameras? Because when I do consult them, and when they show me the true truth, that it was you that decided to give Marina's fur a bit of chap stick love, you're going to be in more trouble for lying, then for marking up Marina's fur. So how do you want to handle this?"

So, what have you been up to?

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

BOO-CHOO

Halloween was fantastic! The boys (well, Jack and Sully that is) managed to trick or treat from 3:30 until about quarter of 8. Granted they all stopped at a house dubbed "THE OASIS," so the dad's could take a pee and beer break and the kids could warm up for a bit.

After they returned home from trick or treating (even Ben did good, he lasted about an hour before Brian called me to come pick him up-impressive for little feet-), our house turned into the Halloween party house and soon enough we had three different families and about 6 or 7 or 8 additional kids.

I had quite the headache Sunday morning. Compliments of wine, that is.

Then the phone call came in. A flustered friend apologizing before explaining why they were apologizing.

Their offspring woke up in the night, sick. 103 fever, and headache.

Oink oink, yes, the poor thing had swine.

So, we've been watching the kids since then, but frankly I'm not that concerned.

Well, I used to be concerned, but that was before I knew that there were at least 4kids in Sully's class out with Swine.


So, if it should happen to prey on our little ones bodies, then we'll take it from there. Just hoping that if they do catch it, it'll be minor, like most of the kids in their school, and that nothing goes too wrong, especially with Ben's respiratory issues.

Aaaaaaahhhchoo.

Friday, October 30, 2009

ALARM THE ZIPPER

68 degrees outside today in the burbs of Chicago.

But, before you congratulate me on my observation, please take note that it is nasty ass outside.
It's windy and rainy and Sully keeps saying, "it's gonna tornado!"


Naturally on the day that we have 2 Halloween parades to watch.
In the morning it's Ben's school, they'll be paraded around outside the school
as all the parents oooh and ahhh.

I've always wondered what goes through their little minds as they see all these strange people staring at them, pointing, laughing, giggling, awwwing. Strangers making comments about the boy in the spiderman mask that can't see beyond the webs because it's almost backwards on his face. Or about the boy dressed up as a bubble gum machine, as his 1cent hat penny falls back behind his ears. Or about the girl in the mermaid costume, not even able to walk because the tail is so tight, she sort of shimmies along with the class.

Ah yes, preschool costumes and kiddies galore. But thankfully not with candy because of all the allergies: kiwi, gluten, dairy, peanut, tree nut, strawberries, chocolate..you name it, someone in that school has one or many of that, the poor things.

But again, I've always wondered during these charade parades, what must be going through the little people's minds as they stare (if they can see through their masks) at all of us smiling at them. I bet some of them are all, "What's up with those freaks?" "I feel like I'm doing the walk of shame." "So is this what the scarlet letter is all about?"

Nah, probably not thinking those specifics, but to be a cell in their brain during these occasions. I'd give as many fat cells to you as you'd like, to be able to spend 3minutes in their brain.


So we have Ben's parade in the morning.
Then this afternoon it's Jack and Sully's school parade.
The K-5th graders.
Far more mature,
and generic.
No, I'm not saying that it's boring, I'm just saying that you'll see more Clone Troopers, Storm Shadows, Dorthy's, Smurfettes during these parades, versus the ones from the preschool.


It should make for a fun day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
UPDATE!:
Yes, I was right, the parade this morning for Ben was ADORABLE! Especially him!
He's Eddie Munster this year! It was either that or Ben Aflac (he'll be that next year--I ASSUME ALL RIGHTS SO DON'T CLAIM THIS AS YOUR IDEA, PEOPLE! geesh).


But back to the parade, so cute. all the little classes walking around-inside a very cramped gymnasium, because although it's 68degrees out, it was raining and really windy.


I enjoyed it so much that I didn't even realize until at least an hour later back at home, that my zipper was down. Then I remembered: "SHIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii--FT change, I was in a race to get out the door this morning with Sullivan, to get to Ben's school parade in time, since parking is always a mission, and I had to pee, so I quickly peed and buttoned my jeans, washed my hands and then zoom we were off. But I never zipped up my zipper."

Damn the man, they've made all these alarms for so many things, even remote controls. So why can't they create one for the zipper, to warn you when you're exposed?


I leave you now, with EDDIE MUNSTER!

Have a wonderful Halloween, All Saints Day, Saturday, or whatever it is that you'll refer to, tomorrow.

Monday, October 26, 2009

I ALWAYS WONDER,..

I've always wanted to know how dogs know where not to step. So they don't end up paw deep in poo-poo. I mean, even when they're outside playing fetch with you, they automatically know where NOT to step. It's amazing!

Yet I could be walking through a large room, and still manage to step on a matchbox car.

Must be the scent?
But do they have time to stop and sniff, or just sniff, while dashing through the yard at high speeds after the tennis ball? I don't know.

Even when they go out back to go potty, they still always know where to avoid.

Have you ever seen a dog step in their own poo?

I wonder,...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meanwhile, until the comments reach 25, I cannot close the contest(SEE PREVIOUS POST). Which means you still have a chance.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

SOLE PICK


Take a guess.
Take a gander.
Be a goose and leave your answer.

I will reveal what it is (and who is right) when the comments have reached 25.
Is that manageable?
probably not, but it's always worth a shot.
Plus the person to guess right, wins something.
So you can guess as many times as you want.
One guess per comment.
If there are multiple right answers (DOUBTFUL)
then we will have Sully draw from the random virtual online mad hatter.
**********************************************************************
*Oh, by the way, if you're ever in Illinois, and you're here during the Fall months, and it's before Halloween, you Have have HAVE to go to Dan's Candies in Joliet. They have the most tastiest, delicious yummy caramel apples you'll ever taste. They make their own caramel, and it has the most delicious buttery not toffee but hard to explain it taste that I have loved ever since my Grandma would buy us each one when we were kids. Now my awesome mom is doing it. Following in her mom's footsteps, she dropped some off the other day for the 5 of us. SOO Delicious! (Please, if you will, also try their G-shaft candy, seriously, delicious too, if you're into unique tastes)
So, Dan's Candies, there are 2 locations in Joliet. Go to the one on Plainfield road, and thank me later, when your tummy is warm.

Click on their link and just scroll down to view their homemade never told recipe caramel apples!
Tell them that One Crusty Mom sent you.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

BamBoozle-DUH

Dear Balloon daddy and mommy(and especially DADDY!),
Thank you for shifting the camera's eyes away from Jon left so it makes Kate plus 8. You have made the Ed Hardy wearing daddy very happy. All eyes on you, your ghetto wrapped UFO and your insane story because you're more starved for attention then, well, I'm sure you can pick out a few celebrities names along with me.

But really? I mean, really?
Really, now.

Let me ask you a question. A question unrelated to your balloon hoax.
What is it that you want your children to take with them into their adulthood?
What sort of guidance do you want your children to act out when they are grown adults, with families?
How do you want your children to be, as adults?

Because, newsflash,..it's time to show them the first example: you need help.
Serious help.
You care more for a TV show.
To promote yourself in a sick way, by engaging your children, and whomever else, just to "win" a slot on some future show.
Sick.

I bet you cheated on those scantron tests, when you were a kid, didn't you?
You're the type of parent that needs help. You need to show your children, be the example that you are confused up in your head, and you need to get help. It's really simple, actually. Just treat it like you would if you had a bad case of the doodie tush runs-except for your situation it's verbal vomit -to gain spotlight at your kids expense. If you have diarrhea of the ass what do you do when all else fails? You seek medical attention to rehydrate your ass before you end up sick from a flare up on the swollen colon.

In your case it's the same thing. The moment your mind let you to the plan of balloon boy isn't really balloon boy, but rather, rafter boy, and all his friends are going to hate him, or tease him, belittle him, or just be jag offs to this poor corrupted young man, all at your hand, you should have felt that a "flare up" was starting to appear. You should have sought out the medical help necessary to help the swollen ego not get to the point where it needs some serious hydration of how to be a NORMAL person-especially DAD-for that matter.

You have made everyone forget about Monica Lewinsky. Those two almost divorced people, with, like, 8 kids. Uh,..Obama's Nobel piece prize, Chicago Olympic has beens, Blago, pregnant former playboy girl, pregnant reality I can never pronounce or spell their names. Kim something.
Chris Brown is busy writing a new song, inspired by the heat of your airless head. John Mayer thinks you're hot and swears that you're the dude he kissed the other night in the "no I wasn't in a gay bar," bar. Jessica Simpson forgot about coyotes. Kevin Federline forgot to eat. Britney Spears forgot to ask her dad for permission to cross the street. Regina gave in to Dave's love demands for "lets role play and you'll be Paul Schafer and I'll be me, David Letterman."

The point is, you take the rotten cake. Just think, this year the prime Halloween costume is Bernie M, but next year, here's to hoping its your face on a mask I see, while attached to the back end of a goat, you nasty twisted bad example of a dad.

The good news is I hear Brad and Angelina are first in line for the adoptions of your children. At least then they'll be in a normal home setting.

Yes, as you can see, I am That ticked off. I try not to be too judgemental but this time my tongue has escaped me and it's just a brain to keyboard type thing and I cannot believe you would bamboozle all of the people that helped, watched, prayed..

If you wanted a scam, all you had to do was become a blogging dad with a terminally ill (PRETEND!) stage IV 4weeks to live, son.

geesh.
and no, I'm not even going to do you the justice of giving you link tracking by posting your sick story on here. For those of you that haven't heard about this, all you have to do is type in "balloon boy Colorado" in google, and you'll see what I mean.