Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Recipe For Freakness

I am a freak.

You should figure that much about me by now.

I do pity BDD, as he has to witness the majority of my freakness.

Sometimes freakness is a good GOOD thing.
Sometimes, not so much.
Take when we are having a new babysitter come over to sit for the boys for the first time.
I get quite, well, FREAKY!

Forget about the fact that I've known this girl for awhile now, as she is one of Sullivan's HS student Child Development teachers. She is a darling High School student who without a doubt works her little Jewish Tushie off. Yes, you read right, there is actually another Jewish family living in this very Christian town. Take note and please while you're telling everyone about this amazing discovery, please include a ring ring to my mother in law.

I have this picture in my head that my dear mother in law views our town as an elephant running bible thumping extremely conservative place, where the first person to land on the moon-er, town soil of Jewish descent, was in fact her son.

Well, not really!
But when I get freaky, I tend to get dramatic too.
Bear with me.

So, this sitter, she'll be "in charge" of our three boys this evening. So my BDD and I can go and enjoy some Greek food-SLURP! and conversation that most likely will take us down the road to child rearing, but that's okay. Because, it will be conversation not met with interruptions.

I'm so excited to be able to go out for a dinner date sans children, that I am even willing to have a discussion about the different metrics of boy toddler poops.

But because this will be her first time here, I have launched myself into this frenetic freakshow of a woman, cleaning the house literally from top to bottom...

BIGDOGG: "Why are you organizing your sock drawer, Elizabeth?"
ME: "uh, because the sitter is coming tomorrow night, and I have to get ready."
BIGDOGG: "get ready for what?
ME: "well, say during the boys bedtime snack, Ben throws his sippy cup off the highchair, and what if it happens to hit Sullivan's good night glass that is on the table. The glass tips, the drink spills over the floor, and the sitter, not used to the craziness that only this household can bring, while bending down to pick up Ben's cup, she steps in the wet mess that was once considered Sullivan's goodnight drink. Therefore having a wet sock, and being utterly grossed out over the wet sock, she pulls open my sock drawer, my nice CLEAN sock drawer that has readily shown folded up,matching socks with the ones that have the holes stuck neatly in the back.
BIGDOGG: "unreal." **Shaking his head side to side**
ME: "You never know, she could be one of those types that isn't comfortable walking around barefoot in someones home."
BIGDOGG: "So, she'd rather risk her own mental issues of barefootitis, by going thru your underwear and sock drawers for a pair of clean fresh socks?"
ME: "you never know, and at least the drawers will be nice and prepared, and organized."
BIGDOGG: "you never cease to amaze me..."
ME: "What, would you have rather I said that I am intentionally straightening my top secret drawers in a certain fashion, so that I will know if she's a snooper? So that I will know if she decided to go rummaging through my drawers in hopes of finding ALL my unique top secret sex toys, instead?"
BIGDOGG: "I fear you sometimes." **walking away still thinking about the last bit about TOP SECRET SEX TOYS!**

So, yes, I tend to get a tad overdetailed when there is something new or someone new coming into our home.
This afternoon I labeled all our kitchen drawers and cabinets with pink rectangular shaped cut out pieces of paper, that read what is in each cabinet or drawer.
Figuring, should she need something quick, everything is labeled and she doesn't need to take the extra time to go searching for it.

The refrigerator is cleaned too.
I can't help it! I did the same freakish things back when we had a housekeeper.
And that is the absolute truth.

After we had Sullivan in July of 2004, we had a housekeeper come in for a few months, to help with keeping things up to par, mainly because I was yet again, enjoying the walks of life with Post partum Depression. Just so you know, I hated the fact that there was a housekeeper cleaning MY dirt off of MY floors. I like to do things myself. But it was a gift from a family member, and I can't deny the gift, right? But I did clean the house as freakishly as I could, while nursing my ever hungry Sulli off my right boob. That's right, my right boob, because he never liked my left boob. Which is a funny thing in itself because my dear Sullivan is a lefty.
Go figure.


I will allow our sitter to have a friend over as long as I'm aware of it ahead of time.
I will give them pages of detailed information "just in case."
I will order a pizza for them prior to us leaving.
They can drink all the pop that they want.
They can watch any movie they want.
They can play on the internet.
I do however, have "ways" of watching though so,
As long as they do a good job watching our boys, I will give them all the freedom in the world.
Plus we pay them a decent amount of money to do so.
So, yes I am a freak.
I ramble.
I am entirely way to detailed.
I go GOLDIE HAWN OVERBOARD when there is a new sitter coming to our home, and I know that it's a bit neurotic. But, that's okay, because believe it or not I can still remember what it was like babysitting when I was in high school. I can still remember the families I adored sitting for, and the families that I couldn't care less if they ever called me again.
Wanna know why??
Because I could never find where their dish towels were.

Welcome TO Crustybeef~
Pardon me, I have to go sweep the floor of our lower level crawl space now.
You never know if she'll have to go in there, you know, if there's a tornado warning or something.
By the way, I will be posting Frankie's Fabulous Baked Spaghetti Recipe in the next day or two, so come back for more, and bring empty belly's, you're going to love this recipe!!


Anonymous said...

have fun on your date! i won't be on a date in a long time...oh well! i wish i had a picture of the messiness that used to be our bedroom (we were all pretty bad-remember all my cups on the top of the bunk bed?? haha) anyways, it made for good memories. don't go too crazy cleaning your house - she won't care that much. i do remember though how i could never find a strainer to drain the noodles for mac n cheese for people i babysat for about 5 years!! i searched every spot in their kitchen and never found it!!


tex said...

I cannot even begin to I won't, except to say no wonder Your Cabbage Patch Kids playhouse was so pristine......

Diane Vogel Ferri said...

You crack me up, Crusty. DF

fiwa said...

Hi Elizabeth - I saw your comment on Brad's blog and wanted to pop over and say, if you'd like to read my blog just send me an email to I had to make it private because of a nosey coworker - otherwise anyone and everyone is welcome. Specially any friend of Brad's.

And then I get here and you're playing Sarah Brightman - you're obviously a lady of great taste! ;)

Your story about cleaning for the babysitter cracked me up, I would be doing the same thing.

Happy day!

Kelly Jene said...

Okay, once again, you and I are alike. I am so over-the-top when it comes to preparing for a babysitter. One time, I went out of town for a week and left hubby and the kids behind. I left a nine page "note" for the babysitter. I had every major tragedy outlined as well as everything else. Oh, and yes, the house was immaculate and I worried about it daily, wondering how hubby left the house for the sitter.

Freaks of the world unite!

Anonymous said...

Wow, can they clone your inner cleanliness gene?

You are totally a freak of nature.

SHHHHH. Don't tell anyone in my home. My kids would be majorly jealous...

MATCHING SOCKS come from the store, not out of their drawers.

austere said...

You brightened my day.
thank you.

Mary said...

Loved this post. Been there, done that. I've gotten older and the boys no longer need a babysitter (I don't think). I keep "stuff put away" as much as possible and the cleaning lady is on her own.

Relax - you've taken care of the possibilities. Enjoy your evening.

Anonymous said...

gosh you make me look like the world'S most CARELESS mom! ha ENJOY your time off and lookin forward to the spaghetti recipe!

Cheryl said...

Hello Freak. You are one funny lady! I never associated having a babysitter with getting your house spotless. Now I know better!

Seems like someone gets sick whenever you have plans to celebrate. Did you really get to go out?

Gypsy said...

I know people who clean their house before the cleaner gets there because they are too embarrassed for the cleaner to see the house dirty. Crazy stuff!!

You can never be over zealous when it comes to someone else looking after your kids. You sound perfectly normal to me, well except for maybe the excessive cleaning that the kid probably won't even notice anyway :)

Foster Communications said...

That freakiness you're talking about, well it does indeed seem to be rooted in the love of your boys. So no need to make excuses for it. Love of your kids makes all such freakiness null and void. :)

SOUL: said...

i am one of those people that cleans before the maid comes--in hotels--etc... do you do that too?
just a habit.. weird..
have a great day-ya freak! :))

Brad said...

How was dinner Freakfriend ? Pls share all the yummy greeky goodness. I loves me my food !

btw - forgot to say thank you (and the boys) for the valentine. Partner stole my sucker and I haven't worked up the nerve to scracth the monster sniff. XOXOBC

Portia said...

You are a RIOT!! But I've told you that before:) It does sound strange, but I totally understand the housekeeper thing. My MIL is sitting at my house this week, and I can't tell you how it drives me UP A WALL that while she's babysitting, she puts all my dishes away in the wrong places and folds my laundry!
The sock drawer is too funny, but I don't think anybody can argue with your wanting to leave the babysitter well prepared. She's either a snooper or she's not, but now she'll have no reason.
I hope you guys enjoyed your dinner out:)


DernaANON: When you are ready for a date, you know who to call, I have to get my ovary/uterus cravings by coming over to babysit..anytime you want!

And you are right, our room always least my side was..all the clothes shoved under the bed! OH MY GOSH THE CUPS! I remember all the cups, what was up with that? :) more than 2cm I hope for you!! But not while I'm have GOT TO CALL me when you go into the abor L! promise?

Love you,


TEx: because my parents were wise, they never allowed us to have boys in our room no matter how old we were, so you probably wouldn't know this except from the viewing of your old window, that I had a rather messy messy MESSY room..all that improved when I became a mom..just ask my old roommates!!



Diane: Happy BirTHDAY TO YOUR DAD! wow, 85!! I hope you'll write about it!!

FIWA: I received your email, thank you very much! I can't wait to come over and read!! Plus, you read Capt Corky, too! He's awesome isn't he? Max is too precious!

Kelly Jene: Seriously I am a freak,..for my newest saying, RELEASE THE FREAKS!! It's good to be overdetailed, then you never leave anything out.. :)

Chasing Fireflies: I promise not to say anything to your children if you won't. Believe me, all this frenetic detailedNess isn't always something that I'm a big fan of,..I blame it on the anti depressants that I used to take..HA!p.s. Yes, you are right about the matching socks, as I type this now, I have old ones on, with holes, that slip off my ankle..grrr...can I say, CRUSTY MUCH?



Austie: I'm glad I was able to bring a smile to go with that delicious plate of yummy food you had the other day. May you pass the Fenugreek to my soon to be breastfeeding sister? The cheese looked divine..

Mary: You sounded like my mom there, "relax and just enjoy your evening,.." Ha! You are right, and I had a wonderful time out, even if I turned and oodled over little babies sitting near our table with a delightful Asian and greek about beautiful babies!!!

Jyankee; Correction, I made you look like a normal person,, remember, I'm the freakshow here! HAHAH! I'm glad to see your out and about, how are you feeling? Did Coffee bean manage okay while you were sick on her birthday????

Cheryl: You can call me freak anytime you want! I know, I tend to over do it, but if I didn't, then perhaps BDD would grow concerned! YES!! We had a date night, and then, Pam came home..grrrrrr..figures...not sick, but Pam-ing.



Gypsy: I have this "fear" that she'll return home and tell her mom, "OH MY GOSH, you shoulda seen the SERIOUS DUST BUNNIES On her computer and behind it too,.." therefore never coming back again. The way I look at it, with how busy the boys are, the more things around them are in order, the better it goes with the sitter. Yes, I know, total FREAK of nature.
Hang in there, by the way, I know it's a tough time, and it's okay to want to be taken care of, it really is!!

FostieCommunication: may I please have you to live next to? You are remarkable with Children! how you managed with C, and how you see the big picture, if only everyone looked at it that way! My heart is hurting for her because of the perfection status. :( But, yes, I am a freak, and yes, overdone, but I do like sushi, so I guess I still hold a tad of raw around the edges, not too many people see that part about me though. :)

Soul: I'll even make the bed! BDD has never understood that about me, why in good gravy would I do that? I think because it's so much more fun cleaning while on vacation. I'll also arrange my clothes in the dresser drawers in a certain fashion for the purpose to see if the maid does snope. IF I start bringing windex with me on trips, then we have a more serious issue, right? :)
It's almost Friday! Do you have your voice back? Fill your RX's, promise?



Brad: Come on, scratch away! According to the day you've had, I think it's necessary to make them "scratch and sniff" the green swampiness! The greek food was delicious! And my company was so delightful, I didn't want to go home, but we had the lunar eclipse to watch with our older one. No mermaid today, sigh,..she's in the wash again darn it!

Portia: oh man, all week?? Don't fall off the smoking wagon, although considering the circumstances,...if you'd like I'd be happy to make her some labels and send them to you. She's creating more work for you. Just watch the little ones, that's her job, and make sure she stays away from your calendar too! Did you hide it? hmm, is she a snooooper?
I'm heading over to your place just to have a nice beautiful ray of background beauty! Please fix mine!! :)

Happy ALmost weekend everyone!


mosiacmind said...

I hope that you had a good date. I know other moms like you...and have babysat for some of them too. I hope that you have a great weekend.

mosiacmind said...

I hope that you had a good date. I know other moms like you...and have babysat for some of them too. I hope that you have a great weekend.

mosiacmind said...

I hope that you had a good date. I know other moms like you...and have babysat for some of them too. I hope that you have a great weekend.


Mosiac: we had such a great time out, BDD had to pull me kicking and screaming out of the restaurant, I didn't want to return to reality. :) hahah, just kidding, but it was a fun visual wasn't it?


P.S. I'd hire you too, to watch my children without a doubt!!!! I hope you have a great weekend too!!


I STAND CORRECTED AND HAPPY TO ADMIT IT SO: my dear friend Tex reminded me that he did spend time in our bedroom when we very very young children, so i'm not sure when the rules changed, but just as we thought, the room was messy from what he can remember, although, as he stated, it wasn't as messy as his was. :)

Happy thursday!


jAMiE said...

You are so funny, i'm really enjoying my visits here with you.

I hope you had a wonderful date!


Jaime: It is my pleasure!! I did have a nice time out with my husband, too short, but worth the time regardless!!!!