Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Little Bo Peep Has Lost Her Sheep

"Mom, can I walk on this side of the street, and you walk over on that side of the street, please?.."
That was Jackson last week when we were walking to school around quarter of 1 on a nice cold weekday. He claims the separate walking, with I and my two little ones in the double wide on one side of the street, and he, on the other, is to give him practice for next year.

Apparently he feels he's ready to walk to school without me, next year. Because naturally he'll be in first grade, and whereas I will need to wake up a bit earlier to make sure he has the most coolest boys brown sack lunch in the history of 1st graders, he's determined it's time to walk the walk along, without his mom.


Since when did he and Sulli decide it was time to just refer to me as, "mom?"
Makes me feel as though I'm dressed up in bright big hot pink rollers with a shower cap over my head, while I walk outside to get the newspaper in my bright brown and yellow to my knees house dress, only to get a gust of wind to take that purdy dress for a wind walk of viewable Little Bo Peep ruffle panties.

Come on, really?
Ruffle panties?
House dress perhaps, while wearing white socks and black shoes with the laces untied.
But pass on those ruffled panties.
Makes me itchy just thinking about it.

Moving on, every day since last week,he walks on one side of the street, and I on the other.
He's growing up.
He's ready to explore.
He's gaining confidence within himself and the shift is apparent with how much he values his own peers opinions.
Versus mine.
Yes, I'm losing my sheep.

It's not always easy to see growth, because it happens so fast.
That's the problem.
It's not that I don't want him to grow up, because that's the natural way of life.
It's just that it's going to fast, and I'm trying to appreciate how time runs when you're a parent, but even when I have it under control, and can actually see the changes in my sons, like you would a zoom speed of a flower blooming, it's still moving too fast.
That's the problem, the speed at which it all occurs. I can't get it under control, the speed of parenting and how fast my boys are deciding to grow.

I try very hard to enjoy the phases that they're in now, even the dark days, even when I vent.
But no matter how slow I take things, or how much I observe, I see time winning the race over dear old crusty mom.

Yet, it's a comfort to see independence in my eldest son. I know I for one have always had that type of spirit about myself. "I'll figure it out on my own. I don't need you, or anyone, to tell me how to walk or cross the street. I can do it, and when I fall and skin my knee, I'll get right back up with the scar as a reminder, but I'll still carry on."

So to see Jackson growing into that type of person it's incredibly haunting to watch.
Like I'm viewing me through a childhood male version looking glass.

You can imagine the smile on his face wide and joker-esque, when just last week as he walked the last leg of the sidewalk towards his classmates, the bus turned down the corner.
Why the smile?
Well, that's the aftermath of this final story, his classmates down at the end of the sidewalk, lined up near the chain link fence, Jackson still a bit of a way to go, and the bus roars around the corner of the block. Soon to be parallel to the sidewalk and him. There was nothing unsafe about this situation.

"RUN JACK!" Exclaimed his class.

Little Jack did just that, with a turn to his left to listen for the bus with his ear, and then a turn of his head to face forward again, he took off running. His backpack flopping along with him, and his "key chain decorations" attached to that very back pack were flinging around, clinking to the sounds of his running footsteps.

The footsteps that were striving for the winning ticket of beating the school bus to the final destination. He on the side walk running just like Clark Kent did the day he beat the train when walking/running home from school.

He did beat the bus.
His classmates were overjoyed!

The kids haven't stopped talking about it.

Being the mom that won't wear ruffled panties, but has lost her first sheep, I'm proud to say that as sad as I am to see one phase down, I am proud, so proud to now be a mom to a Super Hero.
Amazing what happens in Kindergarten, they go in like sheep, like little lambs, and they emerge with more powers then All the Marvel Superhero's.
Pretty cool!

I let him go.
When I did, he flew.

Welcome To Crustybeef~
On a side note, that story yesterday wasn't directed about me. It was in a certain sense, but I don't think the way that some of you thought.
Read the label, it was actually a role reversal.
I'm off to watch my other son Fly his way into preschool this morning.
All is good.


Mary said...

It's bitter sweet to watch our children try their wings and fly. My mantra was "I'm only a success when my children can face the world on their own terms and succeed." But the time goes by too fast!

Brad said...

You sound like your taking this all pretty calmly. I've nown other Moms who get all scary-fraky about their babies grown up.

bonnie said...

Sometimes it seems to me that from the moment we give birth we just lose them to their independence over and over again.


Mary: That is a great mantra, "On their own terms," but it's apparent how helpful you were to them, look at how involved you are with your childrens children!!

Brad: lets chat on graduation day and it'll be an entirely different scene, especially when it's my baby boy number 3..I have it all figured out though...I'll raise them Jewish just so I can walk them down their wedding aisle.
Am I a freak or what? :) j/k

bonnie: Now I know how my mom felt when it came time for me to fly, although they were much more apprehensive and tried to teach me to walk before flying..naturally did I listen? Of course not. :) I give them credit, no matter their faults,..I was a pretty independent character..course, you almost have to be, being the oldest.


Mary said...

I was very involved with the boys and am with the grandchildren. I very seldom gave them advice though. Rather, I discussed pros and cons with them - for the most part they made the decisions. I hurt behind closed doors and sometimes cried my heart out but I let them either reap their rewards or pay the price for their decisions. It was my father's method and it proved effective with me.

mosiacmind said...

What transitions you are going through. I enjoyed reading about Jackson beating the bus..very cute and how his age. I hope that you have a good week.

Kelly Jene said...

Aww cute Jackson. My young men are also growing up. Mama/Mommy is now Mom. It is only at night before bed when Mama is welcome, when the pre-bed snuggle is allowed. Until then, it's big kid all the way.

Hats off to you Supermom!

The Window Watcher said...

I know what ya mean.


A wonderful evening with wonderful people to think about! Thank you for your comments!

Parenting, right? No matter we're parents or not, we all had/have parents at sometime..hard job!

Sweet Dreams,

Thank you.

austere said...

They're growing up, and oh so fast..

Anonymous said...

My daughter is going throught the same thing! She will enter first grade next year as well...


austie: Too fast, but that's good..growth is good!! :) I loved your previous comment btw..

ChasingFireflies: amazing the changes, aren't they? I can imagine for your daughter too!!!
Is she excited or scared?


Susan said...

It was right after Halloween one year when my only son, Phillip, was 4 and I was getting him dressed for preschool and we were chatting about school and how he will go to pre-school, then grammar school, then middle school, then high school and then he will go to college where he would decide what he wants to be in life....I asked him if he knew what he wanted to be already??? Without hesitation he said "I want to be a pumpkin!"

My pumpkin just turned 20 years old last month....time flies - no it shoots past at hurricane gale force speed.

take heed

Portia said...

I let him go.
When I did, he flew.

I loved that part. I loved the whole post, even the comical thought of itchy ruffly panties, but THAT was my favorite. I'm glad all is good:) Here's to the good stuff lasting:):)

And I love your new picture! It's beautiful!

JLee said...

Wow, I thought they waited until about 12 or 13 to want nothing to do with you? haha
I'm not looking forward to that time..

JLee said...

that Fauxliage song was playing again when I was here. LOVE IT!!

simonsays said...

To be able to etch each memory into you heart and mind would be such a comfort, they grow up and out way too soon...

One day, they are gone and all that we are left with, other than the fantastic adults they have become, are the memories,and the fleeting feelings that go along with them. Capture each one and hold it dear.

gr said...

Crusty! Hey, I have a replica Ryne Sandburg jersey from '90 with a Wrigley All Star game patch on it! Yes, I was a Chicagoan once.
Giraffe teaset? Yeah, can do, check back at

(ps-still love the Cubbies, but, ahem, as a NYer now, well, I like the Yanks....)

SOUL: said...

"no matter how slow I take things, or how much I observe, I see time winning the race "

no truer words were ever spoken crusty. nice.

have a great night-

fiwa said...

Super boy! I can just imagine the smile on his face.

Foster Communications said...

He beat the bus! How impressed his young friends must have been. Surely super heroes can't say Mommy. They're way too grown up for that. ;)