Saturday, December 18, 2010

I SWORE I WOULD NEVER LET THIS HAPPEN!

I never used to be able to understand when people (meaning mostly, parents people) would complain about "all they have to do" before Christmas. That "it just doesn't feel like Christmas," or, "I'm not in any Christmas mood this year," could ever escape their mouths.

How could they NOT be in the mood? They have young children, which that in itself makes a sort of "re-birth" from our Christmas youth day. I swore I would NEVER let this happen. I would never be crabby and stressed or overwhelmed when it came to Christmas.

Christmas is relaxing, it's spiritual, it's a beautiful season.

There's laughter and always some sort of unforeseen drama that makes you laugh a couple of years later.

I've had 9 years of happy Christmas's. Even when the first year was full of sleep deprivation, mastitis, and Mylecon. I still put up a tree, and always decorated. I made time to shop for gifts, despite the fact that I had a little 8plus days week old baby.

You would have thought that I'd have been in that sort of blah mood then. Nope. Loved it. Even though Jackson couldn't open up the gifts let alone figure out how to put his tiny precious fingers into his mouth.

It happened this year.
It crept up on me.
I had forgotten all about those grum bum betty bah humbugs.

Then I caught myself whining to my Mom, "I just can't figure it out, but for some reason I am just not in the mood."

Shit.

But naturally, like everything else in life, it makes sense why people would say that. I feel bad that I would even scoff at those crabby Christmas Downers. But now that I'm there, I get it.

It may not be for the same reasons, but I became one of those this Christmas.
Thankfully the one I vented to, "got me," and understood why.
For no other reasons then time wasn't being fair to me this year.
Or perhaps I put too much on my plate, and shouldn't complain but suddenly it's down to the last week.

The good news is, I know have empathy and have gained something new this year.

I'm sure there are plenty more of the "I'll never say, do, act, think, THAT, again," In my future.

After all you're talking to someone that used to say to her friends, "how could any woman be too worn out to have sex with their husband?"

Sure enough, empathy was learned from that as well.

3 comments:

Palm Springs Savant said...

hee hee, well it reminds me of that quote by John Lennon, I think: Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans". so true, ain't it?

KathyA said...

It happens...next year will be better...

Happyone :-) said...

I have felt like that at times. For some reason this year I really am in the Christmas mood. Maybe because last year we were on a cruise and I feel like I missed out on the holiday.
You still have almost a week to go. Maybe Christmas morning when you see the kids open up their presents you will get your spirit back. :-)