Playing Telephone

I've been sick all week, hence my excuse for this week's absence yet again.
What, did you think it was because of the "YOU BETCHA, JOE" and the back to back loss of the Cubbies?

On Monday I woke up with a very heavy feeling weighing on my chest. It wasn't emotional, or panic related either. It was actual pressure on my chest cavity, as if I had been in a car accident and had my chest rammed with an airbag. As the morning went on, the pressure grew more uncomfortable, and the longer the day went the more winded I would become and the more painful it would feel when I inhaled.



Soon the pressure was not only in my chest, but now also in my back. Like there was someone sitting on both my chest and back-if that is at all possible- in a totally NONSEXUAL manner!!

So, being wise, I called my doctor and I was seen in their office that very afternoon. Because there wasn't any other symptoms( for example; a fever, congestion, or sinus issues) my doc was concerned I could have a blood clot in my pulmonary region, so he arranged for the hospital to conduct a Cat scan on me later that evening.

The cat scan came and went, and I did have to have an IV.

It was for the administering of the iodine.

Have you ever had a Cat scan before and had iodine injected into you? Now that's a very bizarre feeling. First off, my hand felt like a surge of sun power had just blown through my veins. Then I got extremely hot in my face and it felt as if I had the sun glaring directly over me, slowly passing over my body, until it reached the point where I got very warm "down there."
Completely in a NONSEXUAL way, it felt as though I had just peed on myself-but I hadn't, it's just one of the effects that the Iodine does to people. Strangely enough the more "senior" you are and/or dehydrated, the stronger the effects from that injection. Mainly the intensity of that overall warmed/heated feeling.

The results came back as I assumed, no blood clot, just pleurisy which is something I've had now three times, the very first time was while I was pregnant with Benjamin. Odd though because this time unlike the past two times from having this in virus form,(SO THANKFUL NOT BACTERIAL!) I had no other symptoms besides pulmonary issues; being winded and pressure on my chest, shortness of breath on occasion, and pain when I'd suddenly inhale to catch my breath and the simultaneous back pain. But nothing else that you would usually experience when catching a virus like fever, weight loss, loss of appetite, aches, pains, you know, "the usual suspects."

Until Tuesday or Wednesday that is.

Then the fever struck, and the chills and the aches and the I wanna vomit but I'm not going to, it just feels like I'm sick to my stomach. So the virus just decided to start in my chest (my thoughts are that this chest region is my weak point compliments of smoking, damn it!) and then work itself backwards.



What else is new, I do everything backwards.
We have our child.
Then we get married.

Not my point but anyhow, yesterday after Brian had left for work, I heard my two boys chatting upstairs. My two older ones because Ben isn't talking at what should be considered "normal" at his age--no worries, I've got early intervention working to get some therapists over to my house for more information--so, Jackson and Sullivan are upstairs talking...

Shortly after their brief mumblings, Sullivan comes downstairs and says to me that Jackson told him I was sick.
He then proceeds to ask me how I got sick, and let me tell you, it's very hard to at least attempt to explain to a 4 year old what a virus is, let alone discuss it when it's Mommy that's under the weather, so being La Wise-AY one, I referred to it, as a "bug."

"Mommy caught a virus, which is also known as a bug, and whenever it's done making me feel yucky, it'll go away, it's not a bug you can see though, it's an invisible bug, I can't take medicine for it because it's the type of bug that won't go away with medicine from the doctor, but eventually my own special powers within my body, they're called antibodies, will begin fighting this bug until it goes away." (You get to speak run-ons when you're a parent, and if you prefer you may still talk slowly without ever pausing or taking a breath).

Satisfied Sullivan turned on his heels and walked away to tell Jackson what his findings were.
"Hey Jackson, Mom's got a fly inside her! I wonder if it's pooping every time it lands."

From there the two of them erupt into laughter, and launch into a tirade of doodie foofie poop jokes that only 6 year old and 4 year old boys truly understand.

I have GOT to stop being so detailed with my children.
Then again, they have GOT to start listening for crying out loud, it was like a bad round of telephone with your fellow brownie folks around the bonfire roasting marshmallows..

Yummm, smores!

S'more later, on another day.

3X INHALED

I was so proud of myself this morning. I mean, boastful proud of myself patmyselfonmyfreckledback and say kudos to you mommieO proud.

We had what we would call an "immediate family + a few neighborhood walk on" gathering Saturday afternoon/evening. The rather "last minute" gathering was put together with ease and with a balanced amount of help between BDD and I. We had set up our backyard with that bean bag game, had a few round tables with fun colorful floral linens, croquet, Bob Marley playing on the CD player, homemade lemonade filled up in a Gatorade dispenser for the kids, our famous fling drinks, beer, coolers, and although this is beer it deserves it's own category; Red Stripe beer.

I hung colored twinkling paper like stars throughout our trees in the back yard, found some awesome tiki torches on clearance for 99cent at a store called Party City (I bought four and forgot to get citronella for them), had the grill all fired up or so we thought until we tried to start it up about two hours prior to the tentative start time of 4pm (no one ever is on time around here, drives me crazy, but this time it was just a leisure whenever you wanna arrive backyard gathering). The propane was out, (thankfully we had checked it prior to the party starting) so off BDD runs to refill the tank, oh and he went to purchase a bean bag set as we weren't sure if anyone was going to bring theirs and being that we didn't own a set of our own we figured it was time to have our own set. Yeah, so off he went to refill the tank for the gas grill and to pick up a bag set while I prepared the house for our little bash.

I was in my groove with food prep and presentation. We removed our round kitchen table from our boxed kitchen and placed it out back on our concrete porch so that we'd have more room in our kitchen as it always tends to be the spot that people gravitate to-even though the party was in the backyard-In place of the table I took what I would call a "back of couch" table (that I purchased at a store called Ikea back in 2000) and placed that along the wall of our boxed kitchen. Ben's highchair was next to the now linen covered substitute table and was used as the plates, bowls, plastic ware, napkins point of contact.

I made cucumber on rye appetizers, cream cheese green chili pinwheels, Pioneer Woman's infamous mystery biscuits, we had a bag of the most authentic Mexican nacho chips I've had in a long time (no, not Doritos, actual flour chips picked up at a mom and pop grocery store where Spanish is the first language), and the most spiciest but yummy Pico De Gallo that the adventurous guests really delved into. Th last appetizer or simple teaser, prior to the grilling of the ground chuck hamburgers and better then ballpark bun length dawgs, was a bowl filled with wasabi edemame.

We bought the meat at a local meat market and if I'm not mistaken spent a good $65 on the meat alone-you see we have a big immediate family.- In lieu of buying cans of soda/pop, I picked up some liters of Coke and Sprite that were on sale at Jewel-one of our grocery stores- for 89cents each.-

The BBQ backyard bash mealtime sides were placed on that same table that was used for the appetizers as those had been transferred out to our dining room table. I took a recipe from my sister and another one from my mom and combining it into a delicious homemade -ground round and Doritos crumbled chips with other fun surprises inside of it - taco salad. I made a pasta salad full with summer sausage, cubed mozzarella, red peppers, tomato's, yellow peppers, red onions, chives, diced black olives, Rotini noodles, salt and pepper and a dressing that is always added just before serving, to finish up the sides for the meal was a simple fruit salad made up of watermelon and purple grapes.
The ground chuck burgers were delicious as were the Dawgs.

Dessert was fun as well! I made three different versions of cake; one (which I will post pics later) was chocolate with multi colored sprinkles cupcake cones, regular yellow cake with chocolate frosting cupcakes and a moist delicious white 13X9 sheet cake with whipped vanilla frosting, and red white and blue sprinkles. Plus there was home made fudge that my neighbor had made and chocolate covered strawberries to finish it off.

Everything was a blast. The last ones to leave left around 2am after an intense round of one on one bean bags tournament between BDD's neighborhood guy friend and himself-meanwhile Alice In Chains being the music that was being played in the background with the occasional change up to Dave Matthews, U2, Bob Marley, the Blade Soundtrack-yes a diverse long playing record.-

Remember how I said we had just bought that bean bag set? It was the wooden type with legs as the stand versus a solid flat piece (if you know what I mean) and within the first 2hours of the start of the party one of the kids had walked up on one of the boards and the leg snapped off rendering the game useless. Who knows what kid or why and that doesn't matter, I was just really disappointed having spent $59.00 on boards that I now will never have a chance to try out because obviously with all the other things in the backyard for the big group of children to play with, they had to go and walk up our bean bag toss wooden board game-Nice!-

But, my brother's girlfriend came through and brought her own set so thankfully there was still that late night challenge between quite a few beers, famous flings and two intense yet extremely dedicated men.

We all woke up between 9:30 and 10:30 Sunday morning which is a new record for this family, and I without a headache began to finish what I didn't get around to doing Saturday night with clean up. Bdd ran out to the grocery store to pick up two bagels and a gallon of milk and I swept and mopped the hard wood floor in our square of a kitchen.

Yesterday was just a very relaxing peaceful with children day.

So, back to the entire LONG WINDED point of how proud I am of myself. And no, I'm not patting myself on the back because I was able to exchange the "defective" snapped leg bean bag board game with a brand new set at a local Sporting Goods Store, but because early this morning after BDD left to walk to the train (remember, we have one car-simple living) and I pulled down the kids haven't been used since last summer inflatable shark blue sprinkler two or three inches tall pool.

There I was in between sips of coffee crouched down on the floor of our now very organized garage (ladies and or gents, if there's a room in your house that needs severe organizing, plan a party that will require access to that room therefore prompting yourself as well as your partner to get your ass in gear and set things straight and in order-trust me, it works). So, there I was crouching down on our clean garage blowing up this inflatable pool.

In between the dizzy spells I'd get up and take in what was the last of pickup; bottles and cans of beverages that were still quite chilled in our coolers that sat on the floor of the now very organized garage floor.

Prior to the party while we were organizing our garage as well as laundry room (because in order to access the backyard from our house you have to walk through the laundry room to reach the door to walk up about 6 or 7 concrete steps with a rusty old paint chipping wrought iron fence-thing) I happened to discover an inflating tool which put the idea in the back of my head that for Monday I'll wake and inflate our boys shark pool and fill it up with water from the garden hose/faucet so that we can spend a day hanging out in our backyard in the little kiddie pool.

Have I mentioned that up until this party we had on Saturday evening and besides when we were doing back yard maintenance, we probably since moving into this home have only hung out in the backyard and played with our boys perhaps 2 or 3 times-don't ask me why because I don't have an answer for you there-perhaps we were just content with playing on our long concrete driveway and front yard where you can easily access the sidewalk-who knows!!!!

Okay, it's Monday and I'm detailed, so anyways, I blow up the pool with my mouth because although I had found a box as well as the tiny "machine" part for inflating things, there wasn't any attachments in the box as there should be, therefore rendering this product useless (like the brand new first set of bean bag boards that we bought Saturday afternoon) for what I needed it to do.

Instead I used my lungs and Thank Goodness I stopped smoking last Sept/October because there is no way I'd have been able to blow that puppy up if I had engaged my old deliciously fun missed habit of smoke and choke with sips of coffee in between early this morning.

Yes, I blew that stupid pool up. I carried the now inflated shark finned blue pool to the backyard, pushed the garden hose container out of the garage as well, into our backyard to begin the last phase of the project, filling up the pool with water so that by lunchtime it will be ready and slightly warm for the boys to run and splash in. But when I had walked the hose over to his destination, that damn pool had gone limp on me, no longer erect and content and full of himself, he was limp and miserable looking. What the hell?

I blew it up again and it was all good. I placed the hose in the pool and began to fill it up. My feet carried my proud self into the garage and out of the garage to the door on the side of our home that accesses the kitchen, so that I might sip my coffee yet again without the dizzy spells brought on by self pool air inhalation. After a few sips I retraced my steps back to where our pool lay filling up. Yet arriving at the back of the garage in what I thought was a level spot of grass I saw water pouring out of the side of the pool and that same side of the pool, limp, yet again.

WHAT THE HELL??????!!!!!!!

I realized that it must not have been on a level part of the grass therefore by pressure of the water knocking one side of the inflatable pool limp. So, I dumped out the water and carried the pool to a much better level area although this meant placing the pool in a very shady part of our backyard which means less opportunity to warm the water, but I have boys and they'll get used to it "so be it this is a fine level spot, I think to myself." I re-inflated the pool with my lovely tired lungs and began refilling it up.

Repeat steps of heading back into the house to kitchen, to sip my coffee, as mentioned in one of the paragraphs a few up from this one. Then back outside to check on my proud mommy pat myself on the back project of bringing hopeful twinkling delight to my boys when they wake to discover that after asking to do this all summer long, that blue sprinkler inflatable pool was indeed up and open for child business.

Nope. The little shit had gone limp on me again. I was so over it all at this point, walked up to the hose that had somehow caused that same side of the pool to deflate as the pressure of the water was flowing outside of the pool and threw the hose across the yard in big time frustration muttering a few "not so nice words," As you can probably tell already from just a few minor ones here that I've written. Naturally, I was not a happy pool pumper at this point Monday (TODAY!!) morning.

Crouching down to inspect the blue limp shark of annoyance was when I finally discovered the issue-a tear about the size of the tip of my pinkie underneath that same side of the pool where the water had flowed over therefore what I thought was causing the side to deflate.

A hole, a fricking hole!!! 3 times I inflated that stupid thing, 3 different times of experiencing dizzy spells and "Woooooooooo is this what it feels like to inhale whipped cream from it's can?" -I never did try that, I was more about nature and herbal love. So anyways, a freaking HOLE, and not a single patch or any repair patches for that matter around in my now very organized garage. Not one opportunity of repair to safe that damn limp shark from receiving the death penalty by means of cans, flies and maggots.

Looks like it'll just be a batman sprinkler day-in the backyard that I know really enjoy playing in.

Welcome To Crustybeef~
Surprisingly as winded as I was from all that inhaling it didn't stop me from being quite long winded here, somethings will never change.

To Breast Or Not To Breast with trust

We all know about breastfeeding. Whether we've been there and done that, or planning to, or watching your partner attach your newborn to their engorged nipples, or if you passed by a mom in the park or on a plane or at a restaurant--okay you get the point. We all know what breastfeeding is.

I for one can tell you that if you don't get a good "teacher" when it comes to breastfeeding your newborn, the odds of you sticking with the process is slim. Because it is a painful beginning. It's challenging if you have a child that doesn't latch on the nipple easy, if you're in pain from your delivery, if you're under stress over how you you think you'll manage being a mommy, if you have post partum depression, if you think or it's determined that you aren't making enough milk, if you have a partner that isn't willing to pick up the slack of other baby duties when you're at home, if you're a single parent, if you just fear having sagging baggy pancake flapjacks, the fact of the matter is, breastfeeding is time consuming, challenging, painful and a huge commitment.

I would never ever judge anyone that decides whether or not to breast or not to breast, that decision has to be between the mother and her newborn. Now if you do consider it and go the nipple route, you'll get lucky to have a good instructor or someone close to you that has had the experience first hand of breast issues with their suckling newborns.

Forget about if you have multiple births, or if you are expected to return to work rather promptly, or if there is a chance that your little one is to premature to take from your breast which is heartbreaking in itself to the mother. No matter, breast feeding is a decision that you shouldn't rush into making. After all we have 9months to research it and decide. Pull and twist your nipples and then put a curling iron near the aerola, to give you an idea of what it's like when the milk comes in. If you can, have a doctor surgically implant some large boulders so you'll understand what it feels like to have rock hard breasts with a burning iron nearby as someone uses tweezers or prongs to pull and twist your nipples. Pleasant, huh? For me, this is the truth.

Back in the days of the 50's, breastfeeding was looked at differently. If you were seen breastfeeding, you were viewed as poor. Sadly there were quite a few mothers back then that feared being labeled something that they either weren't, or didn't want to accept-so they didn't breast feed. Instead they spent their time in their kitchen standing up, preparing the formula in a way that isn't at all like what it is now-8oz means 4 scoops of powder to 8nursery water heated up in a pan with water. (Some microwave it-I have done it both ways).

Todays views are that if you don't breastfeed, Shame shame, GASP!HOWDAREYOU! HOW DARE YOU!

Tragic isn't it? That us women haven't figured out a way-still- how to be accepting of one another regardless of our decisions of the nipple factor. I know that it is easier in many ways to breastfeed; that baby wakes up in the night in their bassinet near you, you roll up out of bed your shirt leaking due to your full engorged owie breasts, you pull out your little pink and/or yellow (yes, that is typical too a few days after birth) newborn, lay them on their back change their diaper and then plop on the breast they go. To me that was so much easier then having to get up out of bed walk out of the room downstairs to the kitchen, stumble through the dark for the bottles, spill the distilled water as you're attempting to pour it into the bottle, forget what count of formula scoop you were on and then wait for it to heat up just enough, sometimes heating too much which would mean more time waiting.

For me, roll, pluck, change and attach was easier--plus I have a husband that would change our little ones so I could get my utters ready for business.--

It isn't always peaceful and it is an inconvenience. Especially if you enjoy cigarettes and wine/beer. Then the game shifts with these new factors. Pump and Dump is learned, and you have a small window of time allowed for yourself until your little one is at least 4months old. The older they grow, the less they need your breast every 2+ hours.

No matter, it's a tough decision.

For me it was worth it, for some it's not worth the tea and gold in China to even attempt it-which is fine too.

And now for the recently discovered medical perspective:

Breastfeeding triggers "trust" hormone in moms.

Friday, Jul 18, 2008 (HealthDay News) — How do infants and mothers bond, biologically speaking? Researchers have discovered that babies nursing at their mother's breast set off a cascade of events leading to release of oxytocin, known as the "trust" hormone in their mother's brains. Recent research has found oxytocin to be involved in trust and love in both humans and animals. It is also causes the release of milk from the mammary gland. Researchers from the University of Warwick, in collaboration with other universities and institutes in Edinburgh, France and Italy, now seem to have pinpointed the actual mechanism by which suckling triggers the release of oxytocin.

Neurons start releasing oxytocin from their dendrites (the arms that extend outward from the nerve cell that transport messages to and from other nerve cells) and from their nerve endings when a baby suckles. Dendrites had been thought to receive more than transmit information, but now it appears that the release of oxytocin from the dendrites increases intra-neuron communication. That leads to more oxytocin being produced, which facilitates the process of mother-child bonding."We knew that these pulses arise because, during suckling, oxytocin neurons fire together in dramatic synchronized bursts.

But exactly how these bursts arise has been a major problem that has until now eluded explanation. This research has allowed us to incorporate all the latest research in a large computational model of the whole population of oxytocin cells," study co-author Jianfeng Feng, a computational biology researcher at the University of Warwick, said in a university news release.

"In this model, we have shown that the dendritic interactions are enhanced enough to trigger a massive positive-feedback on activity," he continued. "The model gives us a possible explanation of an important event in the brain that could be used to study and explain many other similar brain activities."

*The findings are published in the July 18 issue of PLoS Computational Biology*

Back to the personal side again. So you see there are so many factors in determining whether you trust yourself enough to handle the nipple feeding. It's a tough decision and tough first few days-at the least- when that little one latches on-especially when you wake up on day 3 or 4 or 5 with sweats and feeling flu like with the worst heat radiating from your very rock solid painful to touch breasts that suddenly feel like they're going to burst like "VIOLET YOU'RE TURNING VIOLET, VIOLET!"

It hurts like a rotten tooth ready for the decay party of the century. Only you don't have Oompa Loompas coming into your room to roll you out to deflate your engorged puppies. You will have to do it yourself(although once you get that baby nursing on your breasts, eventually that feeling will subside). When that day comes, give yourself another 2weeks, you might just find that things have improved. If not, seek a friend, seek a specialist, a family member, books, or online tips, but no matter what, if you determine that it's just not meant for you, don't beat yourself up over that decision, and don't let anyone make you feel like you're anything less then any other breastfeeding mother. Yes, that medical discovery may be important, but I got to tell you, just because you don't breastfed does not mean your child won't be close to you, and it does not mean your child will despise you, or that they'll grow up being a picky eater.

Trust me, three boys, all breastfed and they all throw tantrums, they all have been or are still picky eaters and they are such whiners that it makes me yearn for the days of that cooing gulping sound my newborns would make while nursing away as I sat there cringing and massaging the knots out of my nature blessed engorged radiating heat HOT breasts.

But hey, at least I didn't have to get up and spill powder formula all over the floor.

Welcome To Crustybeef~
Make your decision for you..but if you have any doubt or fear that you may regret not breastfeeding your newborn sometime down the road, at least try it, take it day by day and you'll see, it'll ease up-but it is a big sacrifice on top of the one that makes you deliver a child and suddenly become a mom and it is a huge commitment. Besides you'll love that little one to pieces and they will sense that because like us, they too have feelings, although not quite developed, but they do experience sensations, emotions and will love you back with a bond just as close as the woman that sits on a plane while her 6month old sucks away to prevent the pain from the changing cabin pressure.

WOMEN WITH BREASTS UNITE! NO MATTER IF YOU ACCEPT THE SUCK OR BOTTLE IT.

WE MUST STICK TOGETHER NO MATTER OUR VIEWS OF CHILD REARING! :)

DROPPING DROIDS

Today I stuck my hand in the toilet to rescue Sullivan's droid (STAR WARS) after it took a suicidal plunge into the deepest depths of the boys toilet bowl.

Only the damn Droid determined that the best time to off himself, you know, to to drown his sorrows, (because he wasn't chosen first to man the death star by his boss Darth THE MAIN MAN Vader) was immediately after Sullivan had his first early morning urine release.

I didn't overreact at all as Sullivan stood there crying out in despair while wearing his pants down around his ankles over his now urine soaked headless* droid. (due to a prior mishap last week.)
I did the best thing I thought I could do,... I stuck my hand into that toilet and pulled out the droid.

Welcome To Crustybeef~
After all, whats the difference between sticking my hand into a urinated toilet versus being peed on by the same child back when he was a young tot? I don't see any difference.
And that my friends is one of the perks of being a mom, carrying underlying dedication for your childrens flavor of the month toys and not being afraid to pull them from the yellow waters.

Have a great day!
KELLY!!!! I LOVED THEM!! THEY ARRIVED!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!
My Friend Kelly is the best!!

Lasagna WOMAN

Yesterday I decided to try out THE PIONEER WOMANS lasagna recipe and also her mystery rolls recipe-YUMMY!! it all turned out delicious!!! I do have to say it is the best Lasagna I have ever made-and I'm sorry if that means that the recipe I got from my mom for her Lazy day Lasagna doesn't hold par, but that's because that particular recipe is a LAZY Day recipe. Whereas the Pioneer Womans dish involved a bit of work, but I think that's partly due to the fact that it was my first time preparing this dish.

On the way to the store earlier in the afternoon, my boys were questioning our whereabouts and destination. I told them that we had to go to the store to pick up a few items so that I'll have all the tools I need to make dinner for them tonight....

JACK/SULLIVAN: "What are we having?"
MOM: "Lasagna"
JACK/SULLIVAN: "Awwwwww, I don't Like lasagna, it's too crunchy.."
MOM: "You'll like this one, it has a lot of cheese in it, and it's not the crunchy kind besides, Sullivan, I know Jackson's had lasagna* on numerous occasions but I don't think you ever have had lasagna besides the kind in the baby food jars.." (*I haven't made lasagna since we lived in Florida on the water back in 2003-truth! Ask BDD!)
SULLIVAN: "Yes I have."
MOM: "No you haven't."
SULLIVAN: "Mom, yes I have, back when I was four."
MOM: "Sully, you haven't even turned four yet, not until July 1st."
SULLIVAN: "But I was four when I had it a long time ago, remember?"
MOM: "Funny, I don't remember."
SULLIVAN: "why is it funny?"
MOM: "NEVER MIND.."

There was quiet in the back seat of the minivan, quiet chatter. I could tell that they both were processing the conversation that we had just had. I did pick up whispers as if they were planning a boys club town meeting and I wasn't allowed to be a member.

JACKSON: "Mom, Sully said he was four a long time ago when he had the lasagna, and we don't like that meal."
MOM: "The more you both talk about how you don't like something that you've never tried, the more scoops I'm going to put on your plate starting now.."
JACKSON: "Can I have a do-over?"
SULLIVAN: "I don't like lasagna."


There are some that may just have to learn the hard way. I was like that too you know, learning the hard way. Probably still am in certain aspects.
I didn't continue the conversation with them because it just wasn't worth it. I continued to drive to a local grocer, a tiny mom and pop place, all the while managing to tune them out. Throw in a free pass for them to burn out their little motor mouths-and most likely calories- based on their sheer disgust over tonights meal selection.

Ungrateful little buggers.

Welcome To Crustybeef:
They loved it!!
They devoured the biscuits and lasagna!!! So step aside SEINFELD'S WIFE with your little badself blender, the Pioneer Woman speaks to little boys better than you do with your pureed yuck.

10am

The child of the odd father, or rather, strange father, is coming over today for a play date.
They've been calling us every few days since the day school let out for break.

The dad is just odd. The group of friends we gather with all agree that there is something not right with this man.

No, it has nothing to do with him being a stay at home dad, as I indirectly know a SAHF and he doesn't strike me in the same manner as this odd ball.

It was recently brought to my attention that this child showed another child where his dad's gun was-which so happened to be in the garage in an easy to reach place for a 6 year old.
Here's my thoughts:

*It's wrong that this 6 year old child is even aware that his father owns a gun.
*It's wrong that the father has the gun stored outside in his garage.
*It's terrifying to know that not only does this child know where his dad's gun is, but can get easy access to it.

Needless to say, my son will never go and play there without my supervision. If that.

The child is a bit off, and doesn't always respond to adult stimulation, or rather, direction. I've written about this child before, as well as the dad, and whereas I don't want to ostracize the family, I have to think of my own family dynamics, because it takes one slip up. One ounce of typical child curiosity and I would never forgive myself if something happened to my son.

The father, I can't seem to put my finger on it.
I have a few theories, and it really doesn't matter what the reasoning is behind the fact, but what matters is that my instincts tell my back to give me goose chills. There is something off with this man.

I've seen a few things so far:

1. On our groups dad's and sons camping trip back in October, the father didn't drive with his son-mind you this is his only child too-he put his son in Bigdogg's car and said he'd have much more fun driving with Bigdogg. (Personally, if it's a dad son weekend, wouldn't you THINK he'd want to be with his son?)

2. At a bowling excursion two months ago, the dad drank more jack and cokes than Sullivan knocked down bowling pins-with the bumpers up. It didn't faze him a bit to put his light weight son in the front seat of his truck without even a booster seat. He shouldn't have been driving, his eyes were terribly glassy, and his mannerisms became extra strange while he ran around the bowling alley picking up a few of our groups sons, and tickling them a bit too tight, and a bit too aggressive.

3. I just don't know.
I wish I had more time to get into now, and we'll return to this topic of ass-grabber later on as I need to shower and make sure all sharp objects are hidden away.

What's difficult is that I get a strange feeling in my gut, and other moms have the same feeling, but what do we do? They live on the next block, their son is in the same class as ours, and the dad is just a very odd person that makes me nervous. Matter of fact, one friends daughter told her mom that she doesn't like this said dad because he always tickles her when he sees her, and the tickles too hard. There is something disturbing about him, and the fact that I was recently informed about the gun factor, there is no way in hell that my son will be over there.

It will be interesting to see how this play date goes. The last one we had, this child wet his pants, and than dad proceeded to say, "oh wow, that has never happened before, what's wrong, "son," you seem like something is depressing you?"

Last time I checked, the father is supposed to be a father to this 6 year old, not a therapist or friend.

Wish me luck, and I'll talk more in detail about this fellow at a later date.

Welcome To Crustybeef~
At least by having the child here, I am able to manage the play date, although having one more boy in this house isn't always easy especially since this child is someone that I need to hover around whereas other play dates aren't in need of constant supervision.
We shall see if it goes well, and if not, my plan is to just approach it as the following,"my son and yours aren't really getting along so well at this point, therefore I think it'd be best that they take a bit of a break from each other."

I wonder if the principal of Jackson's school has ever received a letter requesting her son NOT be put in a class with another student. I'd be curious. And I hope that next year in 1st grade, this child won't be in Jackson's class.

More on this later. This was a quite ramble..shower, clean, and knives to be put away. (Sarcasm!)

In a NON Crusty world

NOT PROOFREADING, so please, no need to point out my errors, I'm tired and this is me. :)


So when you go out with three boys ages 6, 3.5, and 1.5, to run "short" errands, don't count on any of it being short.

When the FIRESTONE Guy says, "yeah, it'll be just OVeR an hour for the complete diagnostic test, and oil change," don't believe him.

When you plan out your after school special, do it in your head.
When you plan out your oil change "short run" in your head, do it like this:
(Now pretend that you're thinking to yourself, okay?)

Pick up Jackson from Carpool lane arriving in lane no later than 3:25pm as usual so not to be at the ass back of line.

Drive over to Firestone for the oil change, and while they're doing their tune up on the car, take the double wide and stroll over to the pet store so the boys can look at the puppies, birdies, snakes and bunnies.

Next, head over to another store near by and pick up the gift for the sibling who's name you selected in the "LETS PICK NAMES and PRACTICE Christmas," Hat. (Can't tell you guys in case the person I picked reads my blog..remember I have two sisters and two brothers and two brother in laws could be any one of them!!)

Return to Firestone and pay for the oil change that you haggled down to $16.99 because you're the maven. Making sure that includes running the diagnostic tests and replenishing any lost fluids including the windshield wiper fluid.

Stop at a Toy and baby clothes drop off-haven't gone yet, anyone want them? Long story will try to explain here.

Return home and make Tuscan style Chicken with noodles, a side of chunky cinnamon apple sauce, some regular dinner rolls and fresh green beans that you picked up at the Jewel after you left the store that you bought the secret sibling Santa present for.

Don't forget to bring a blanket to cover up Ben while in the stroller.
Don't forget to watch Frosty at 7pm, and Scooby Do Christmas at 8pm with the boys.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Only, it didn't go that way:

Picked up Jackson after seeing A.Grabber, the neighborhood dad that is the guy that I've talked about, that I just get this weird feeling about. Whenever I see him, my neck hairs stand up on the back of my head...yikes!
The line was really long, and people must be early today, or I late? It went fast, but the line was long.
Drove to Firestone to get an oil change.
Climb out of car and head to the back to open up the hatch to get the stroller, and just a big black bag of my toys and clothes donation that I am teaching my boys to do every year..to go through things together, and give were there. Nothing else. Back to the bag of toys and clothes, everyone today seems to have way to much,well, not "everyone," but I think each of us knows when we're walking that border of over induldge. If not, no big deal, but I, well, I like simple, and unique..worked hard for, cash, cash, everything with saved cash. ..but anyways, like I said, the stroller was gone.

"SHeet," I think to myself, "come onnnnn, seriously, why didn't I check for the stroller to make sure it was there?"


DING!!!!!!!!!!! FIRST ERROR BESIDES A.GRABBER

So no stroller and Firestone guy says 1hour 15minutes until it's done. "No problem, I'll just have to carry Ben to the stores. It's a walk, but I can do it, the kids can walk in their boots, and if there's snow on the sides of the sidewalks, they can carefully trample through that and have fun."

We arrive at the Petstore to look at some cute puppies-"NO! Not To buy! It's like going to the zoo in winter time for my boys..it's fun."
Jackson and Sullivan watch the store clerk feed the ball pythons and gecko's, they look at the birds and each tell me which one they'd pick if they could have it, and what they'd name the bird.
This pattern continued with each different live viewing. "Which one, what's the name, how are you going to take care of it?" Jackson fell in love with this adorable kitten. A domestic/Siamese mix. But you can adopt those from the humane society, and the clerk told me they were $240 and comes with a home health care kit: microchipped, litter box, 20lb bag of litter, an amber alert id with some doggie find website for life time, a wty with the pet for 7 days, and one year for certain diseases, 2 litter bowls, two snacks, oh and the kitten.

Personally? You shop smart? Adopt the same animal at a shelter, the donation money goes towards the shelter. You can shop at a PETCO for inexpensive bargain same things, and still come ahead. Besides now, at least with dogs, they must be microchipped...so that's not really any added bonus as a selling point, if you ask me. Go the shelter route, trust me. Every person I have ever known that have gone the shelter route, have the best, most unique pups ever!


Walk to another store near by for my siblings "SSLPC," gift. Get in the store and the two older ones were warned not to misbehave, to be polite, and aware of their surroundings. All was good until one was "LOOKING at the other," or, "talking too much." Jackson did shock a store employee as we were down by some toys, because when he walked by, he turned up and looked at her in her eyes and said, "excuse me, please." Awwwwwwwww, my Jackson!
But with each other, they were just ribbing and pissing each other off, at the age of 6 and 3 over the most ridiculous banter, although I know I did it to with my sisters.

They were cranky, and disruptive and it cost them a McDonald's. That really made Sullivan mad, and then we ran into our neighbor and friend that is part of our group, and her two children, and Sullivan, man Sullivan. He couldn't walk. He couldn't turn around. He tried climbing underneath the cart and then got his head turned around and he thought he was stuck, but he wasn't, but he honestly thought he was, which set him up even more. Heck, even in the Petstore, one wanted the puppy, one wanted the kitten,..Good GAaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwddd!

Suddenly I smelled urine-yup, Ben had soaked through his diaper and tan courderoy pants. Jackson had to go pee and I couldn't find the bathroom, I did eventually, but not without a lot of complaining with Jackson. No, no accidents.

We run into our friends and then our mailman that sent us a card. And calls me a stubborn hard headed girl, and how he's going to have to speak to my father about my stubbornness. Yeah, he's right. Then, I check the time and it's over one hour and 45 minutes and still no call about what if any was wrong with the van. They always do the check on it, they always call to say, nothing found that needs attention, just the oil change? And I say "yes, please." So I call them and they still haven't even looked at my car.

So, I'm diaper less, stroller less, and somehow Ben lost his glove on the way to the first store, the pet store. Keep in mind he's been sick, and with him having been sick, and now as of tonight, getting sick again, I bought him new gloves that he could wear on our way back out of the store. I'm actually getting sick too, the back of my throat feels horrible, and I'm really tired and worn down and crampy. NEXT DING!

Walking back I realize that Pam is walking behind me! "SHEET!!" Nothing, no diaper, no stroller, 3 gloves, and sniffles, PAM! With nothing to stop her.
Unreal.

Finally, we walk back to Firestone, I call them again at 5:55 and we had dropped the van off at 3:35pm, they had just pulled the van into the service bay.

We got home after 6:45pm.
Stroller-less
Diaper-less
Without A Pam-Blocker.
Sick.
Crampy.
Tired because Ben woke last night again.
And SOOOOOOOOOO incredibly excited to tell you about something, and SO INCREDIBLY EXCITED that it's almost 5 days until Christmas! I'm sooooooooo excited!

Welcome To Crustybeef~
Bet you didn't see that one coming! I am so excited and in lieu of the Christmas season, I did go through drive thru McDonald's for my boys, it was a long walk and it's understandable to be cranky at their usual supper time. They ate late tonight, and even though I don't always eat with them, I will sit with them and talk with them, and feed Ben, but they eat between 5:15-5:30, this was a very late dinner night for them, and on a school night.
But, tis the season to bend the rules.
Have you been extra friendly?
Have you bent the rules any?

Murphy's Uno

"Oh crap," I think to myself, "I only have one diaper left for Benjamin."
"No worries, it's 2:45pm, this one should keep him dry until Bigdogg comes home, and than I can run out-alone! to pick some up."

{{{{Okay, changing Ben now.}}}}
Not ten minutes later, there's doodie in his pants.

Talk about Murphy's law.
How come when you have ONE diaper left, and than you think out loud that you'll be "safe," rest assured you're caught in a bind? You think it's just putt putts going on in the tush region, but sure as the smell of NON SCENTED baby wipes, there's more than just "putt putts" in there.

There's logs of dookie.


Speaking of puttputting along,
It reminds me of when you need to get gas, (IN YOUR CAR!!!,) and you suddenly realize just how low your tank really is because you haven't driven the car in over a couple of weeks due to having had surgery, and you get every red light with 0 miles to go until empty, until you chug to another red light, and you view a gas station located clear on the left side of the intersection, and you're on the right side, in mounds of traffic. At this point you can't turn into the station because of all the traffic, and that you're in the right lane of a red light, along with the fact that you've now turned blue from holding your breath, because naturally, holding your breath will impact how much gas is used in your car, as if that will save you.

If I owned a gas franchise I'd name them, Murphy's Gas.

Phew, talk about a RUN ON Sentence.

Speaking of running,....
How come when you're running out the door, way behind schedule to pick up your son from school because you had to wrap saran wrap and plastic baggies around your child's pants to hold back that nasty doodie log stench and debate about other alternative methods of change, you can't take your car because you just know there's only a smidgen of gas left, and wouldn't that be embarrassing to run out of gas in the carpool lane of your son's school? So you run out the door, pushing the double wide stroller, and wearing shoes not suitable for walking in, but it was all that you could find at the last minute. You're running with the stroller, while wincing in pain from the still irritated incision area, and suddenly there's a new hole in the street. A hole that mysteriously has never been there before. Your foot trips in the hole wearing your "not meant for the street shoes," at the same time that a car drives by. Normally NOT a big deal, but this time, it so happens that the location of the hole was also near mounds of leaves. Therefore blowing up the leaves that your lazy neighbor, while trying to save his pocket book from spending $1.75 per leaf sticker even though their home is listed at over 1.5 million, is just too lazy to bag them and tag them (the leaves) and instead just rakes them into the street, those gosh darned leaves. He could hire a service, or a neighborhood kid to rake them and have them hauled. But NOooooo, he sneaks out and pushes them into the street, as if none of us know what he's doing. He's a very nice man, perhaps he feels that with all the money he pays in property taxes, he shouldn't "have to" pay for the brown bags to store the leaves, nor the cost of the rubbish stickers for the Wednesday garbage man to haul away. Naturally he's smart enough not to burn them because in our town that's illegal and you will get fined.

Meanwhile the leaves find your hair so inviting, they gravitate towards the colored auburn do, and flap uselessly into the tangled mess of your hair because you haven't brushed it since the 9am church service from yesterday, Sunday past. In a matter of seconds you look like the Leaf monster with shoes that would make the stripper pole corporation jealous.


Nothing like a day in my world.
But I laughed the entire way through it.
You know why?????
Because, FREE COFFEE MONDAY'S IS BACK AT MCDONALD'S!!!
Now who sounds like the lazy leaf rake? Hey, we follow the rules, there are 13 bags in our garage filled with leaves and that's just from our front yard. The Bigdogg hasn't made it to the leaves on the side of the house nor the backyard as of yet.

But FREE COFFEE? Excellent marketing ploy aimed at moms. They head out to the Mic D's on Monday, for their free coffee, their hair mangled and minds frazzled from the daily isolation's of SAHMhood, they approach the drive thru needing their McFix and then suddenly the children begin their whines of dedicated love towards the man with the big shoes. The weaker moms
cave in, realizing the ease of fast food, and then order some "is it chicken?" Mic D's makes more money on moms on Mondays. Especially if the mom runs out of gas in the drive thru.

"Can you add a milkshake to that order? While you're at it, could you make it three, please?"

Phew, say that fast!! Mic D's makes more money on moms on Mondays.

Welcome To Crustybeef~
I didn't run out of gas in their drive thru, I just had to throw that in there for added dramatic affect, or is it effect?
Do I really CARE about grammar at a time like yesterday?
But to think all of this started from one diaper.
COMPELLING STUFF! Or might I say, Compelling Crap! :)

Need Assistance?

If ever someone messes with you, and you just don't have the energy nor stamina to maintain your disposition, or should someone scare the daylights out of you, I recommend a telephone call to this little bright eyed one.



Welcome To Crustybeef~
You can't help but love this little ones voice, as well as the mom with her delightful sense of humor.

OH MY!

I found this over at my choice blogger, Crabmommy..
To all of us that have young children, this is something worthwhile to watch.
This video is owned and all rights belong to the founder of this company that has taught infants as young as 6months of age how to "survive" if they were to fall into the water.

This is not a payperpost, this is just a video I just came across thru Crabmommy over there to your right listed under my CHOICE BLOGGERS list.
This video will get your heart racing without a doubt.

(The freakiest part? The rather 80's dad.)

Click HERE to view video..use your volume too.
The site is www.childdrowningprevention.com

Welcome To Crustybeef~
I had to post this, as a mom I am amazed at this version of teaching! Plus I can't even float like this child did, for over 5minutes too!
When we lived in Florida, 3years ago this March, our home backed right up on a lake. You'd walk out the back door, walk through the Florida version of a yard and there was the lake. This would have been something I'd have looked into, had it been available back "then." I was always terrified of that darn lake. And you can't always rely on those door window alarms, nor on the fence beepers either. Funny though, I was more concerned with Jackson wandering out into the lake and drowning, than I was about the risk of alligators.
I'm a freak, but tell me something I don't already know!

When? and Rambles as Usual

When did he start closing the door to have privacy to go potty?
When did he get so big?
He's almost 6 years old, and I can still remember the day he was born.
Every bit of detail about him.

When did he start calling me mom?
He's still only three!
When did his legs grow sprouts, who sprinkled those freckles upon his cute face?
Amazing the difference the letters M + Y can make.
Especially when you hear them calling out 'mommy.'

When did his cry change to that type of toddler rumble?
When did he learn how to rest his head upon my leg when he's getting way to tired.
He's beyond 15months now, my gosh how time flies.

But do you see the change happening when it happens? Or not until afterwards is the change noticeable? It crept up on me out of nowhere and than suddenly it's completely different.

Still as fast as they might be growing (and it's true, they do grow up so fast!!) I don't want to go through anymore of my own newborn baby phases. I'll welcome it with my cousins, sisters and friends, heck, all of my family can bring a newborn to the table, but I still won't want another one of my own, I'll admire theirs plenty!

As you know I've been trying to figure out whats best for me regarding the tubes being tied. It dawned on me the other day through the mist of my frothy beer.

I've bagged up and passed on the majority of my baby clothes without thinking about it too much at first.

I've passed on the baby stroller, the swing and the saucer,the bottles have been pitched, all the signs have been there based solely on my actions. And then the other night I put it all together as we were walking around at the block party, one block over, drinking a beer and talking with all the people.

The block party was held on the street that backs up to the schools playground and when Jackson and I first arrived he immediately looked out for all of his buddies. Bigdogg had lost the rock paper scissors bet to remain at home until the younger two woke up from their naps. They were zonked from a long day of fun at the pumpkin patch!

So Jackson and I walked over there together, he holding the bag of chips and I holding the taco dip salad mix I made to share with the families. Jackson being old enough to be "okay" at the park without me by his side, and I could see him clearly, I knew he was fine. An hour or so goes by and then Bigdogg comes over. Pushing the last remaining double wide stroller that we've held onto (this one given to us by Mom "Stacey" and "Bob.") the other ones long since passed on.

Sullivan wasn't content with all the bikes, scooters, bubble machine, chalk, fire pits, food and cookies that were within his eye sight. It didn't even matter to him that his 2 year old buddy "Tyler" was there waiting for him. He heard the noises over at the school's park and he wanted to go play. Which is fine and all, but that would mean one of us would have to go stand there with him. That would mean no socializing for us parents with the young kids.

During the "battle" over the park versus the street, it dawned on me that I still have to go through it one more time with Baby Ben (duh!) and there was my answer.

I love my boys and sure there are still those late night dreams of little girls, but I am tired and I just want to be able to go with my Bigdogg and children to an evening out with our friends, and be able to sit back and still be watchful over my children, but not have deal with all that hovering.

I never used to think of it that way, I just went into it with my motors running because I knew that's what you have to do. You can't sit down and eat a plate of food without most likely rushing. Even if there are people sitting there watching my boys, I still have to hurry up, the children are my responsibility not yours. I can't serve myself first, I give them their food. I can't talk with my young mommy friend about her recent diagnosis of breast cancer without interrupting her and the conversation to chase after my toddler. If I want to read a book I have to wait until nap time, or after they've pooped all that poop of theirs out. And believe me these boys can poop up a storm. (It's amazing to me the amounts!)

Now I know this is all part of parenthood and that's what I signed up for. I think what I'm trying to say is that I've found my decision. That decision to close the book on all those revolving chapters:
The middle of the night newborn cries.
The concerns over "are they teething?"
"Do you think they have gas?"
"What's wrong with him, how come he won't sleep during the day, during his nap?"
"He's feverish because of those shots..."

I know there are other phases yet to be faced with, and I can't wait to see them!! I will miss elements of the newborn phase, like how they just lay there, and you can watch them fall contently asleep in your arms after a comforting nursing, or a nice warm bottle. The smells and the coos that they make. The fluttering of their eyelids as little babies sleep.I will miss the phases that I've finished as of present, but I'm just not up to going through it again.

I've had my fun with all that "baby making," pregnancy growing, sacrificing time frames. Sure sure, I know, the rest of my life as a parent is sacrificed. And I'm content with that too, I just don't want to have any more children. It's time for the next phase to begin in our lives-my life-and I don't want the added anxiety of worrying about getting pregnant.

I look forward to taking my boys skiing somewhere someday, and as long as I keep popping out those babies, those fun excursions will have to wait. I look forward to the unknowns of the future, and I'm glad I was able to come to a firm decision that I am officially done having children.

I look forward to going to holiday gatherings someday in perhaps well, 3years more so 4 and to be able to sit down and visit and not chase after the toddler heading towards things in a non baby proofed home. (I will say you will be amazed at your reflexes as a new mommy or daddy-it's superhero levels!!)Or to glance at my Bigdogg and give him that unspoken look, that look that says, "it's your turn, can't I just finish my ham?"

I look forward to visiting with my friends and to not have to interrupt them because of nap times, scowls and tantrums.

I look forward to making plans to travel out to visit my out of state friends, and not have to deal with the mission of "who can I find to babysit my young children?"

I never used to look at it that way, I just dealt with it as I delivered them, (from that sentence you'd think I'd had 20 children!!) but now I'm ready to go on living and put having babies up on the shelf for someone else to take it. The sacrifices still being made, this is just how I arrived at my decision after all that inner soul searching.

There are some that can do it 5X, 4X, 7X, 1X,2X,0X-basically we all know our limit and I've met mine.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

On a funnier note, I was listening to Jack and Sullivan playing star wars with their little tiny tan droids and for the longest time they kept calling those tiny brown things, ROGER ROGERS!!
They think that's their name because apparently during the movie, the guys are heard yelling "ROGER ROGER!!"
See? That's a cute phase that I'm in now, and I love to see how they take things, hear things, act out things..

TO see what Droids I'm speaking of, the best way to get there is to click on this word, here.
I tried uploading pics but the picture loader isn't working!

Welcome To Crustybeef~
Pardon me now, I'm off to go do a Vlog of the popcorn eating Crusty-hahah..just kidding!Actually, I have a poopie diaper to change..See what I mean? :)

How Do You Know?

How do you know when you're ready to have children?
With some of us it just "happens" before we're ready.
-Before the rings have been placed gingerly on our finger under G-ds watchful eyes.-

How do you know how many children to have?
Or if you're even willing to run for the role as a parental candidate?

Those decisions are all difficult ones to make.
There are no answers from us humans to aid with the decision to have a child.

For us, the only reason why we went for number three was to 'attempt' at creating a little girl.
Obviously G-d had different plans for us, and provided us with a busy household of boys.

Psalm 127:3-5 says, “Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.”

But to go for a fourth is not an option for us.
Does that mean that God will be mad at us?

If so, then I guess it means he's really irritated with those married folks that have yet to give him even one little guy or girl to grow up in a world of discontentment, selfishness, and extreme materialism.

God declares that Children are a reward. And I'm not about to create an opinion on something that the Main Man Himself has declared His Word. It's okay to not have the desire to have children. It's okay to not enjoy being around children. It's even okay to roll your eyes and begin searching for a safer haven when you're heading out on a much needed vacation only to get stuck with a kid sitting in front of you on the airplane.

Sometimes due to medical reasons one can debate whether or not a child should be brought into the family due to your own health issues. (i.e. disabilities run in your family’s genes,etc, etc) But what if you were to put your trust into God? After all, He is in control and he'll figure out how to iron out the kinks-to arrange the details, so to speak. I remember a story I came across once (perhaps it was a blog, I can't remember) but it was about this girl in college who was going to get a hysterectomy because of the fact that she had a mental illness, it so happened to run rapid in her family genes as well. She ended up not getting one, later married, and would you believe she actually had a perfectly healthy happy child? All those sleepless college nights over her concerns about passing along a "deformity" and look, G-d took care of her child's well being!

So, when is the right time to start a family?
When is the right time to grow your family?
To go from One to Two..From Two To Three?

Oh and what about my career! It's really getting going now!! I can't start a family now, I need to make money..I still need to travel to Europe..

The Biblical answer would be to put your family first over your career.
Genesis 1:27-28 says, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."”

G-d says that children are a 'blessing.'

Now don't get me wrong, I don't think that you're "hurting" Him by not having children. If anything you're only hurting yourself because in the long run, children are the greatest blessing you can find. You would be missing out on so much. According to my faith, God blesses parents with years of enjoyment with their children, that cannot be compared to anything else. I would think that the only way you could make him unhappy is by your attitude and by not trusting him enough to give you the support you need when it comes to raising children. BELIEVE me, I need ALL the support in the world with my own buggerboos!!!

I was blessed yesterday with that type of enjoyment that you can only get from children:

1) Sullivan bit Jackson on the arm
2) Jackson told Sullivan that he doesn't like him anymore
3) Benjamin pulled out garbage from the trash can and tried trailing it through the kitchen
4) They cried that I served them ground beef with ketchup and peas and carrots for dinner (did I mention that there was also fries, garlic noodles, and strawberry applesauce?!)
5) Ben turns his face away from food when he doesn't "like it."
6) Sullivan woke up at 6:07am
7) Jackson woke up with a bad dream about being bit by a squirrel at 6:30 and didn't go back to bed.
8) Sullivan complained that he wasn't sitting in the "way back" with Jackson in the mommovile
9) Jackson whined that he was sitting in the "way back" all by himself
10) Benjamin refused to nap in the afternoon yesterday.

At the time it wasn't enjoyment for me. It was painful-hairpulling-counting-to-ten-overcoming the urge to just fall off the wagon into the arms of Sir Nic- fun.

But as faith says, it shows itself to you when you reflect. Times of reflection when you don't even realize that you're, well, reflecting!! OR thinking peaceful thoughts.

It showed up in the form of grocery store shopping with my three children.

Through the sweet reminder from a stranger, a woman passed her age of child bearing, looking down at the boys as they pushed their mini-carts down the aisle ramming into each other like cars in a stock car race.
She stops and smiles and says "how cute they are." "How precious it is to see such adventurous boys. Such passion for life,"she says to me as she looks down at them smiling.
"This is the best part right now," she says.
"This is when they need you the most."
"This is when they care about their mom." "This time right now is the easiest."

Um, easiest? Do I need to run through my list again?

"This is when they still talk to their mom," she says, and then follows up with, "enjoy the noise,the constant motion, all of their mini actions, because you never know what they'll turn out to be like someday. And someday they may not want to have anything to do with you. They may not want to return your calls, or come running to you with a problem."

Someone could take that as sad, or dysfunctional, that her boys don't have a speaking relationship with their mom. I mean, who doesn't want to speak to their mom? Who doesn't want to have a relationship with their children? Unfortunately, I know quite a few people that live their lives that way.
It suits them fine.
It's dysfunction, it's sad and it's part of life.

Which is why I'm glad to have found my faithful reflection in the Frozen section of aisle A4.
Because I don't know if they'll turn out to be "okay." I don't know if we'll have a good speaking relationship when they're adults in their 30's. I can try as hard as I can, but that doesn't guarantee success. I could display perfection and never make a mistake as a mom (HA!) and that still does NOT guarantee well rounded adults.

I have to just enjoy the now. The hectic time when they come running to me with tears of pain when a toy isn't shared. When they "lose" the race up the driveway on their push pedal trikes. When they don't want to eat their peas and groundbeef because by doing so will make their "tummy hurt lots a bits!" When they have a nightmare of being bitten by a squirrel. When they feel alone because they enjoy staring at the stars whereas their friends would rather throw around a football.

This is the time that they actually communicate every ounce of who they are to me. Every piece of them, every raw emotion isn't yet tainted by the costumed world you start to see as you develop into adulthood. As each year moves on, as school years advance they will begin to pull away, to become their own person. The loose veil of innocence unravels like a childs favorite blankie with each year that passes.


I had my reminder of how they are a blessing to me. I had my questions answered about "how will I know I'm ready to be a parent?" "How will I know when it's time to have another one?"

As of Late, I've been dealing with another new type of question. Actually I've been faced with this question for the past 15months:

"How will I know when I've maxed out my credit limit on children?"

I know that children are a gift from G-d but how much is too much? The Bigdogg and I create added anxiety over engaging in sex because neither of us want to "have" another child. There is birth control such as the pill, and now that I'm no longer part of the Sir Nic club that could be a thought. However, I did conceive Jackson on the pill. Yes, a story for another time, but I have to say that I am of that 1% that can actually GET pregnant with birth control.

But am I ready to permanently close that chapter on my tubes? To cauterize the anxiety from ever creeping into my uterus again?

That's the conflicting issue I face. I don't want another child. I know the stress of having three. I live it every day. Blessings and all, I don't want to abuse my limit. Just because the credit limit is open ended, doesn't mean I should max it out.

From a faith stand point I have to remember that it is thru G-d that my household has been built. To maintain the outlook that we can do it ourselves, without faith, is just another frantic attempt that will demolish over time. To base life on "our way is the best way we don't need to believe in the unknown," will only lead to a foundation based on material prosperity and social acceptability. With that approach, it's no wonder many homes have their foundations crumbling beneath their feet.

I think to myself that I will be going against His will should I have a tubal ligation. But I have sinned with other things..and I am not admitting perfect. Rather the opposite. I am admitting that I have yet to learn.

The crossroad of this question for me is that even though I do not want anymore children, even though I ask that my womb be closed, am I ready to surgically close it doing it my way? It seems so permanent- regardless of if it's me or Bigdogg-to be snipped, cut, or tied. Taking faith out of the equation, I still don't want anymore children. But to block it, to grow scar tissue around the tied strings, seems so empty.

Like a good book that you never want to finish, although you're on that last chapter, I'm struggling with whether or not I want to put that book up on the top shelf, to never have the option to read it again. Even though I don't want to read it ever again, just knowing that it's there for me, should I want to read it, is comforting.

Crazy huh?

Welcome To Crustybeef~
My appointment is Nov 1st to talk with my OB about removing my lovely cyst surgically. AND, to take apart the bridge that has been the gateway for my three eggs to make it thru the tunnel of my fallopian tubes to give me the fun blessings that I am so grateful to have. SO GRATEFUL in fact, that I am not willing to remove the status of middle child by making a fourth.

So I will continue to count my blessings.......
and I'm stopping at three.
How do You Know When You're Done?

Before...

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.

I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.


+++++++++++++++++++++++++

I love that poem. Each and every time I read it, I'm moved to tears.

There are so many people that have yet to experience the true sacrifice of life- of having a child.
There are some that will decide it's not for them.
Pity because usually the ones that are so fearful of becoming parents end up being the best "version" of parents that you'll see.

There are those that have yet to walk through the 9months of wondering, of sickness, of your body beginning to teach you how to think of someone else instead of just yourself.

There are those that know how to be a parent already-and believe me they'll tell you how to raise your own children, even though they haven't had their own yet.

When I look back on my life, I knew I always wanted children, from day 'little girl.'
Did I see myself having three boys?
No.

In my visions, when I was a young girl, I only saw myself having girls.
A family of 5 daughters.
Filled with pink walls, garden themed bedrooms, castle stories, timid little voices, their favorite toys, all barbies and dolls, and tree climbing book reading peppermint candy eating pigtailed girls.

Girls that would develop friendships with the boy next door. Peering out thru their bedroom window each night, signaling with a flashlight, chatting about life through their eyes. Girls that would look up at me, throw their arms around me and just express complete happiness to have me in their world.

Girls that would experience the disappointment of tryouts. Of not making the team. Of running home into my arms, crying tears of exclusion. The vision of being able to feel my daughters pain, to feel her disappointment. To understand all that she's going through. To help her through it all. To teach her how to be respectful, and kind, and helpful to others. To teach her to take care of her husband, to respect herself, to understand differences, to be kind to everyone. To love live, stay clear of drama, stay strong in her faith, to not let anyone stand in her way, to teach her to be strong. To teach her not to let anyone walk over her, or take advantage of her.

To be there for her,when she makes her mistakes. To show her forgiveness. To show her that life isn't about being a know it all, it's about being aware of others feelings. To help those that aren't as nice as she, and to be the better person. To accept things for what they are, and try hard to find joy in even the hardest of times. To just be a delight to be around.
To be a good happy, loving and warm young lady.

My visions, when I was much younger, was how I'd go about teaching my daughters how to love their life. How to wake up happy every morning, knowing how blessed they are to have their heart beating. To be themselves.

Funny. I never thought that you could have those same feelings, those same visions from having sons.
Until I had three of them.
And that my dear friends, is why this poem strikes my heart each and every time.

My visions haven't changed, the gender may be different, but the goals and dreams can still be the same. The teachings the same.

Having children is the greatest sacrifice own can make in their own life/marriage/family.
Until you embark on that journey, you'll never know the amount of work it takes, the amount of worry that comes with the unknown, and just how wonderful all the rest of it is.

Welcome To Crustybeef~
Just a random thoughtful view on parenthood.
Yes, I am still feeling rather ill and getting sick of feeling like shit already.
Sick ants in my pants syndrome I guess-I can't stay down too long.
Time to go get the breakfast ready for the boys....
Please have yourselves a Happy Friday!!!!!!!!

Only In The Sab-bath

I may be struck by lightening for that, but it seems the pattern of Penile Postings occur on Sundays.

Don't ask me why.

"Mommy, when I climb into the bath tub and my penis runs into the water and bubbles from the bath, it tells me that I have to go pee. But I say hold it, and my brain holds my penis so the pee doesn't come out."


If only my son, if only.

Welcome To Crustybeef~
Yes, Jackson will despise the penile stories someday. Especially when in the company of my future daughter in law as I pull out the printed versions of the "Crustybeef penile episodes." Yes, he'll be seriously annoyed. What am I supposed to do though? I'm the mommy and it's not like I have Barbie and Cabbage Patch kids stories to share later on in life. He just has a way with how he thinks when it comes to his thing, his word selections, I wonder if that's where it truly starts??

Hope you had a good Sabbath as well. Today, or Yesterday!!

He's Back...

Strangest thing....

Sullivan, yesterday which was Saturday, while sick with a cold bug, said he was going to be a big boy now and give me his blank. Very random, and very surprised I was. I mean, the little guy was sick anyway. He laid down for a nap and when he woke for the first hour he thought Jackson was sleeping too. When he found out Jackson had gone to a birthday party, he was so upset. So, we're talking about this little fancy character right now.

He gave me his blankie. His precious Blank. He slept all night without it-as it hung up above him, looking down and protecting him up on his wall. He did wake in the night and said he was scared, and climbed into bed. That's fine. He's allowed to. So long as this doesn't become a habit. Any habit no matter how your household is run can become so embedded in little boys heads...I'm screwing myself.

But with Sullivan and his Blank, he was ready. He brought it up. He's that strong of a character..he may express disdain over things that bother him much more vocally than his brother Jack, but he definitely can't be called weak.

When he's ready, he's ready. Period. No going back..Or so I think. When he was laying in his bed last night, his hands folded at his chest, his fingers tapping simultaneously with each other on his chest. He clearly was thinking of replacing the habit. And I told him that he could suck his thumb, even though the blanket was on their blank of fame wall, but he didn't.

Just like that.

After he found out that Jack had gone to a birthday party, when his own tears stopped rolling down his face, he planted his thick top heavy adorable feet, and simply said, "I want my blank up on the wall, I'm a big boy now. Just like Jackson is. I'll get a Leapstahhh too now."

Umm, about that, The Leapster, was our agreement with Jackson back when he gave up his blanket. But as you can see, he had more invested in his blanket, 5.5years is a lot of vested time..the trade off had to profit him. Thus the agreed Leapster with mommy and daddy setting the limits and sticking to them.

But Sullivan apparently feels that he's owed the same return. Take about 300%gain for him! The dude's only 3 years old-he'll try to push you..I told him we will give him something from Leap frog because that's the one little thing he loves playing with at his preschool..and those things are only $20...a good gain for him-strictly educational, but still with the same time limit of play like his big brother Jackson.

I think it's only due to the fact that yesterday morning, Bugs Bunny was back on, playing on the TV..He's redeamed himself..way to go Bugsy!

Welcome To Crustybeef~
He hasn't even stood up on his bed and touched his blank..and the dude still has a cold.

My strong stubborn sweet little Sulli...sigh..............

Bugs Bunny is No Longer A Friend Of Mine

Yesterday morning I rose of out my bed, tired and groggy. In the middle of the night Sullivan came into our room due to a nightmare. He fell back to sleep right way but left me with the sounds of his snores. The longer this snoring goes on, the closer we come to having one more medical cost-a tonsillectomy charge.

Sullivan woke up again around 5am saying he was thirsty, so I satisfied his parched throat with a glass of late night lemonade. Or should I say, early morning leeemonnade?

His mouth moistened, he fell back asleep. Immediately launching into his snores of slumber. He's 3 and the noises that come out of his mouth when he's in dreamland could make the BLUEMANGROUP go under.

Naturally, I couldn't sleep anymore, so I woke up, made my coffee, picked up a bit, posted my story about the bigdogg's and my smoke chat, and decided to bury my nose in my book before the boys woke up.

I never made it to the book. Not long after Bigdogg left for his walk to the train station, (which is before 7am) Sullivan came downstairs, his 'blank' over his shoulder, he had this look on his face that screamed, "I'm TIRED, Cranky and don't want any problems from you, dear mom."

Uh-oh, I think to myself, lets settle this before it erupts into a crazy morning in Crustyland.

Sullivan turns towards the TV and whines, "I want to watch TV." No good morning greeting, no smile, or twinkle in his eye, just that 5 word sentence.

Usually I'd make a bigger deal of it, request a please and a more pleasant greeting, but understanding that he'd been up in the night, had woke a few times, I decided to cut the little guy some slack and just appease his cranky mood and turn on the TV. There are just some people that can't wake up every morning happy. They wake up as if ruined, that they've been met with another day to walk through. Obviously with Sullivan he's too young to think like that, but he does need to ease into his mornings for the most part.

I flip on the TV, giving him a quick morning hug before his hands and arms have time to react by pushing back, "quick, ward off the sensitivity, I'm not awake yet, mom!"

Right away we're met with the colors that only young minds can sit and manage, the PLAYHOUSE DISNEY channel on our TV which is channel 290.

"I want to watch that. Bugs!"

Fine.

So I set down the TV remote, as Bugs Bunny and his fellow pals are running around doing their morning routine like animals with too much coffee in their system. (I wonder to myself if that's how I look when I hit my 8cup mark mid morning.)

Heading upstairs to get Ben up and breakfast prepared for the 3 boys, I remind Sullivan that today is a school day for him, that he's been given a special treat to watch TV before school, and shortly it will be time to come upstairs for breakfast.

No comment.

20minutes later my request for Sullivan's presence in the kitchen,begins.

No answer.

I am trying to teach my boys a "ONE request response system." Or rather, my "ORRS."

Meaning, I ask you to come upstairs to eat breakfast-my request-

I expect you to respond-by coming upstairs.

Yeah, right! A 3 year old that hasn't slept well the previous night, already woke up cranky, and I suddenly expect him to be a scholar? I'd have better luck teaching him to pee in the shower than I do with this "ORRS" system.

My request, my bird call for Sullivan, went unanswered except with a grunt from down below in our family room. I reminded him, "Sullivan, I only am asking you one time, so do you want nice mommy or upset mommy?"

"GRUNTS and GRUMBLES!!"

No footsteps heard approaching the stairs to come up to the kitchen.

"SULLIVAN, Come upstairs now! Breakfast is ready, and you have 40minutes before school starts, LETS GO!"

"I WANNA WATCH BUGS!" High tones, drawn out enunciation of his words, very dramatic was

what his answer sounded like.

I'm the type where I don't want to sit and argue and battle with my three year old. So, taking my own actions I walked downstairs, walked over to the TV, switched it off, turned towards my Sullivan, lowered my head at him, giving him my mommy glance, and with my finger and arm I pointed to the stairs. As if warning him silently, "don't push it buddy, go, to the stairs now."

He didn't.

He cried about Bugs. "I WANT BUGS!" "I Want to watch Bugs!"

Sure after thinking about it later, it wasn't BUGS that he wanted, he wanted more sleep. He wanted more time to wake up from his cranky slumber. But when you have three children to get up, dressed, diaper change for the kicking Ben, hearing Jack complain that "he's freezing,"breakfast made and eaten, vitamins swallowed, teeth brushed and have the car now warming up since it was only about 43degrees yesterday morning, my mind didn't have time to sit and figure out Sullis' Bugs Bunny desire. I needed him upstairs, NOW. I needed him to just listen to me. To follow thru with what I asked of him the first time.

I was tired too.

When do mommies get to rest?

From that point on it was a complete disaster. Sullivan refused to move from his cemented spot on the couch. His tears waking up everyone with the noise levels coming from a mouth and nose that no longer seemed clogged with drama's from his snores of the night past.

He was a mess. Crying to the point where the heaving begins in his chest, broken sobs coming to an end, but with that type of hiccup noise. "HAA-HAA-HAA-HAAAAAAAAaaaaaa." Like they can't catch their breath. Funny, I remember reaching that point of tears and crying when I was a little girl. I remember being so frustrated that I couldn't settle myself down and thus the hiccup tears would begin. My chest heaving up and down, the sounds coming from my chest as my tears come to a close.

Sullivan's tears silently rolling down his chubby cheeks, he was pissed off. He was tired.

But so was I, and I admit, I didn't react as best I could. I didn't have time to sit and deal with it all. I needed to get him together, dressed, and ready for school.

Obviously from how he was reacting, looking back I feel as though I was damaging him. But than I think to myself, NO, I wasn't! I was being a mom. I was trying to go easy on his cantankerous mood by allowing him to watch TV on a school day, and instead it backfired.

I've come to the conclusion that it wasn't my fault.

It's the subliminal messages from Bugs Bunny and his crew.

I'm not a big fan of the Bunny after yesterday. I mean, look at the arrogant look in his eyes in the picture at the top of this post. Such a pompous ignorant Rabbit. Just because he can talk, that makes him some sort of superstar? I'll show HIM a superstar! Smell my Pits you ASSHOLE!

Hearing his voice makes me cringe with the flashback dramaS of yesterday -heard around the Breakfast table.-

Life as A Stay at Home Mom.

Welcome To Crustybeef~

He did go to school, he did make it on time*, and the kicker was, for the first time since Sullivan started preschool, he cried. He turned to me and cried. As Miss Sarah was taking him out of the mommovile, he turned to me and in a meek little voice said, "goodbye mommy, I'll miss you." His voice breaking, he caught the lump in his throat and he just started crying. He didn't want to go. He wanted to stay with me was what he was saying to both Miss Sarah and I.

That was what broke me. I came home. Put Ben in his playpen. Sent Jackson upstairs to brush his teeth since we didn't have time earlier, and I went outside and cried. I felt horrible for my Sulli Bulli. Here is this 3 year old that had a tough morning, that was getting in trouble due to not listening to his mommy, that was crying because mommy "yelled" at him, and then not 20 minutes later,(the morning drama's carried on for a good 20+ minutes) while in the schools parking lot, he's crying because he doesn't want to leave mommy. The mommy that was making his morning miserable.

Guilt is a terrible thing to hold onto as a parent. Working moms and Stay at home moms, the job isn't easy. But Guilt always finds you no matter what your role is. And when the guilt creeps into your heart, you're lost.

*According to his teacher, he was a dream to be around.

Naturally I could let guilt weave his way into my heart again and blame myself, but I can't..It'll only screw up my job as being my three sons teacher. But I am allowed to have the soften moments of guilt ridden tears hidden from the eyes of my boys and Bigdogg. I am entitled to that much, I'd like to think.

Tuesday Tickle

Today, this morning, while Sullivan was at his preschool, Jack and I worked on his homework as I also worked on a towel cake that I'm making for my sister in laws Bridal shower that is in Miami Florida. Unfortunately I can't attend due to my Bigdogg and Jack having prior plans that are good for their special daddy to firstborn time, so..she'll get my towel cake instead.

Anyway, long tangent, today as I sat assembling the towel cake, while working on Jack's homework with him, he looked at me after we were discussing his "poem" that he is required to be able to recite alone, he looked up at me with these crestfallen eyes. His face forlorn, a deep deep sigh, his precious mouth opening up to speak, "awwwwwwwwwwwwwWWWWww, I'll never get to see my face. Only everyone else will get to see my face cause I'll have to look in the mirror to see it. I can only see my body parts and other peoples faces, but, <> I'll never get to see my own face when I want to cause I'll have to go find a mirror somewhere."


Welcome To Crustybeef~
hmm, yes, that does suck. I guess.

6:15am

"Bonggggggg BinggGGG!!

"Bonnggggggggg BinggGGG......!"

She's sitting with her dentist talking about his future with Sarah and what he plans on doing with caring for the baby. Only he's not interested in Sarah, he wants her. His beeper goes off and he jumps up out of the chair after looking at the number, running after someone walking down the hall.

"Bonnngggggg BingggGGG!!"

"Bonnggggggg BinggggGGG!!"

He returns with his Mcdreamy face softened and eyes twinkling down at her. He wants to be with her, and he'll do what he can to have her-he doesn't want Sarah the knocked up one. He wants the one that returns to have more work down on her teeth. He wants the responsible one-the one that always pays her dental bills in full. He wants the one near him.

She's cautious. She's dated people like him in the past. She's aware of how destructive the relationship most likely will be. But she welcomes the passion of the first kiss, the passion of the kiss after their first argument. She welcomes the making up. She knows the destruction will be there. It's visible through his shadow. Through his manners. Yet she can't control herself. She's ready to walk down this wild side, with him. Knowing full well that it won't last, but the adventures that they will have, will be worth it all.

"Bonnggggggggg BingGGGG!"

The gonging sounds interrupt her thoughts. She gazes up at McDreamy-and asks him,

"what's that noise?......." "What keeps gonging?" She asks a twinkling McDreamy.....

"Mommmyiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeee, the doorbell, someones at the doorbell!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. I was dreaming this morning.

2. I was dreaming of my dentist.

3. Even though I was dreaming about my dentist, the Sauntering Frank-it wasn't his face, it was Patrick Dempsey's face-my listed crush

4. I don't have the jumbley juices for my dentist

5. I do have the jumbley juices for McDreamy

6. Sullivan was happy to tell me that someone was here-at the "doorbell, mind you."

7. Dream interrupter-all of them!

So, at 6:15am I had my dream about McDreamy interrupted by the constant ringing of the doorbell. I stumble out of bed, nearly tripping over Sullivan as he stands there at the foot of the bed finger in his mouth, blanket draped over his shoulder. His eyes still have sleep in them. But I can't focus on him yet. I still have the door to answer.

Get to the kitchen and double check the time, still amazed that it was only 6:15am.

Was I sure?

I looked again, yup, 6:15am.

Fumbling around for the keys for the deadbolt, I hear the shower downstairs running, assuming Bigdogg is getting ready for work.

Finally getting the door open, I see Nephewdog Jorge!! and my brother Jimmy standing there.

"HI CRUSTY," Jimmy says in his REALLY LOUD MALE 6ft 5inch VOICE...

"Didn't mom mention that I was bringing Jorge over today? You know I can't call anyone, so I hope you can take him.."

What was I going to do? Say no to my brother and nephewdog Jorge? I can't say no.

I have no-itis.

It's contagious, so stay away from me, or it'll rub off on you.

"Hey, Jim, no mom didn't mention it to me, but no worries." (I say with the morning breath of death, the wreak of phantom breath.

"You're off to school today, right? It's Wednesday, right?"

"YEAH! AND I have to run or I'll be LATE!" He says, loudly.

"Sorry about not giving you notice, but like I said, I have no access to using a phone."

Jimmy leaves off to his Wednesday class of Union Plumbing school. (not sure if that's the correct name, but that's what we'll call it here.)

Jimmy can't use a phone because he's presently in between places of residence. He's living in one of those extended stay places that charges you $25 up front for your room phone. Unfortunately for him, he's in a rough financial position, so $25 is something that isn't available to him. Why don't I just have him live here? Why can't he move home?

ah-hah my dear readers, that's for some other post.

Anyhow, Jorge is here.

The constant doorbell ringing woke up Sullivan and Jackson quite early.

In a matter of 15minutes from now-at roughly 8:45am, I'll be watching my neighbors little 2 year old son so that she (mom) can go help out in her older childs classroom for the morning. (Until Noon today)

So far this morning,

I've been dream interrupted.

I've dealt with two very cranky early risers.

I've pulled a Lincoln log green roof stick away from Jorge as he was gnawing away at it in our kitchen.

AND, my usual favorite mug -my first cup of the day coffee- was cold before I got halfway through it.

Welcome To Crustybeef~
It's going to be a lonnnnnnnnngggggggggggg day..I just hope it's not too hectic.