Friday, February 16, 2007

Freeze Warnings and 3lb'rs

It's approaching.

It should last into next week.

The horrors of it all.

South Florida is experiencing a cold snap with temps in the low 40's.

Come on! Such drama.

I'll show you cold temps:

  • ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Course, if you lived in Miami,as we previously did, you'd understand that this particular city is full of drama. The news channel where I discovered the news on the "cold snap," is a mixture of over enunciated words and highly dramatic hotties that broadcast the news in such fashion that you'd think the sky was falling.

    It's official.
    Please stand up and cheer!

    Our 7month old son, Benjamin, has slept through the night twice this week!!


    *Cue my Aunt and her notorious -Cubs game get yourself removed from the 8th inning bachlorette party- whistle!*

    AHHH, such a relief to get a complete full nights sleep. Luckily I married one of those husbands that will actually get up in the night to feed him, so his beloved can sleep.

    Yes, I'm grateful-extremely grateful.

    For those of you that have yet to experience the throws of newbornness try going 1.5 years without getting a full nights sleep. (I've taken the liberty of combining my other two children and their lack of sleeping, patterns)

    No, you CAN'T count getting blasted at your local pub and walking into your place as the sun comes up, only to change and get ready for work.

    Until you actually have a newborn to tend to, you'll never understand the amount of work it takes. Nor the impact that the word, HORMONES, plays in your happy household.

    Word to the men reading this: Whatever you do, do NOT get upset at the wife if she's having a hard day. Do NOT compare your job to her tedious at home career of changing poops and spit ups and breaking up fights.

    Empathize with her-if you can muster up the words.
    Sympathize with her without a doubt:

    "Oh my love, I feel so bad that you had such a rough day."


    I can't imagine HOW you do this everyday."

    Don't get all peacock on her and fluff up your manly feathers with such an air that you make it seem like you could manage her work and yours -easily. That if she were to take a day off for herself and return in the evening hours, everything is just as is..
    Not a problem to talk about.

    Trust me, you want to ward off ever "practicing" to have another little one-make it seem like you didn't miss a beat with tending to the kids.

    My husband's smart.
    He knows the magic words.
    He says the magic words.

    What are they???

    "I don't know HOW you do this everyday. I couldn't do this everyday."

    That's definitely grounds for celebrating the "EAT STEAK AND MAKE OUT," holiday. (As heard today on a morning talkshow.)

    More on that at a later time.


    So, to sum up:

  • Don't preach about raising children until you in fact become one of the "raisers."
  • Don't preach about hormones until you birth a baby and experience "engorgement."
  • Don't preach about treating your husband or wife in a positive manner, until you in fact get married. (No, living together doesn't count, there's something different about the marriage license, wish I could explain it.
  • Finally, if your wife asks you for a flower for Valentines day, unless you've been married 30+ years it doesn't qualify if you present her with a 3lb bag of flour. (Thank you, UD!)

So, refrain from humorous gift giving until, and I repeat, UNTIL, you're beyond the anniversary date of 30years.

Got it?

Welcome To crustybeef~
I am looking forward to that 3lb bag of flour for Valentines day in about 20years.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The bag of flour is STILL sitting on the counter untouched.

I have a feeling I'll be using it before the intended recipient will.