Thursday, May 24, 2007

Willing Away

So, bigdogg and I are leaving tomorrow for New York for his cousin's wedding.

We're so looking forward to it.

And yet, the parent in me starts to panic silently.

Not about being a "Christian" in the midst of Jews.

Not about whether or not my outfit will hold up next to the many Vera Wang's and Armani Tux's.

Not even about whether I've over plucked my eyebrows.

Not even about having to do another one of those dreadful "caviar Vodka" shots that were at the other cousin's wedding this past September.

I'm silently concerned as bigdogg and I do not have a will in place.

Not like anything will happen. Not like flying on American Airlines into New York over memorial day weekend will be cause for concern.

Only because we have children. It's our job to make sure they're taken care of. Even if it's not us taking care of them.

We've spoken to my sis and bro in law-the "ScatsShins" family. We've asked them, should something happen to us, if they'd be willing to raise our children in their home.

What we'd like going on from that point is that they continually have a faithful upbringing. Understanding the Jewish religion, as well as the Lutheran side from crusty. We've asked that they always open up their home to my inlaws. To embrace as they always have, my Jewish family, my southern family. Which I know without a doubt they would. After all, my sister has always thought of my children in that manner. She's sent them Hanukkah gifts, Passover gifts and just random things that relate to our Jewish faith. That's one of the reasons we asked them to have guardianship over our children. That and because my sis understands how I want my children to be raised. She knows my thoughts and insecurities. She'll be able to incorporate us in our children's lives, even if we're not around.

That being said, we haven't mentioned anything else. So, I will now.

We wished to be "buried" in our local cemetery, the one located just next to the catholic cemetery. Simple especially if there aren't any "bodies" to bury.

We wish to pass along if recoverable my wedding ring to my mom. To give her my diamond, and for my sis to hold onto the setting of my ring to pass along to our firstborn son. My mom passing on the diamond to my children, before she's "called home."

All other jewelry besides the heart braclet from my sis Deek, to be sold.

We wish for them to sell all of our things in an estate sale. There is no need to fight over items that only prove to clutter your home. Better to have the memories. Keep the photographs, and children's items, but please, rid this home of everything else.

We wish for them to allow our children when they're at least 8years old, to fly down to visit their southern family. Even if that means for the entire summer. We want our children to remain close to everyone that has always been dear to us.

We wish for them to not mourn, but celebrate the time they've had with us. To look up in the skies on rough days and think of the laughter and the memories.

We wish for our children's names to remain the same.

We wish for our memorial stones to describe us based on our love and interfaith entwined into eternity. They're welcome to request Laine for assistance on drawing up something for the stone. As long as it has on it, "ANF" and Our "ANI" statement, whatever else you wish, go for it.

We wish for them to keep our mommovile to help with the transportation of our three plus their three. Or, sell it for extra cash.

We wish for them to keep our sons together as brothers, always.

We wish for them to ask for financial help should it get rough.

We ask that our other family members be willing to help them at any given moment, without being met with exhausting, "we'll sees." (which I know they would help..without a doubt.)

We wish for them to use the insurance money to assist with our children's' upbringing. So long as they set a designated amount aside via trust funds, for each of our sons to receive when they are 21 years old.

We ask that should our children want a bar mitzvah, it's honored.

We wish for them to have a college education.

And finally, we wish that any family tiffs be resolved at the time of our deaths. That anyone in kahoots with other family members use this time to band together, to have a relationship with each other. Regardless of differences, regardless of the past. We will not be at rest peacefully, until that occurs. To appreciate one another and be grateful for the time that they still have.

Other than that, I think we've covered it all. I know it's silly, but you just never can be too careful.

Welcome to crustybeef~

see you on monday~

1 comment:

austere said...

Idea overall is good, and I'm going to take care of whatever little money I have seeing the world, but why this timing?

Your sons, that's your real legacy.