Friday, August 31, 2007

GUESS WHAT....? Part Uno

She lays there listening,....wanting to speak, but not sure if she's allowed to;

"Guess what? He's having a baby!!"

"He got her knocked up."

"Can you believe that she's 22 and he's 47?"

"She tricked him because he has so much money he was planning on building a $1.5million dollar home, he now is buying her a $289,000 house out in the west suburbs-do you know where St. Charles is?"

"uh-huh." She replies having been given the silent permission to talk-tingling talk mind you.

"She's such a bitch, she lied to him and said she was getting that shot to prevent pregnancy, she's after his money. She's an orphan that has a very dysfunctional family."

"They fight all the time, and she threatened to sue him. Now they're in counseling and he has an attorney to make sure she doesn't screw him over."

"He won't marry her because he knows that she's after his money and will divorce him and end up with half of all of his earnings, including his tan jaguar."

"So now he can't buy his dream home, and he'll continue to live in Burr Ridge, but he plans on supporting her and the baby the rest of his life."

"She's going to become a stay at home mom now, and basically will never have to work again, because he'll cover the cost of living for her for the rest of his life."

"Isn't that messed up? She's just a bitch, this girl, a controlling manipulative rude bitch, and I can't stand her," said the 65 something year old Albanian woman.


You'd think that was something out of a soap opera show, or perhaps the latest Jerry Springer trash talking show, but it wasn't.

This dialogue from the Albanian woman occurred in Crustyland. As a matter of fact all of this transpired yesterday while I sat in the dentist chair.

My Sauntering Frank got his young flavorful hygienist pregnant. It was no surprise that they were fooling around. I sensed it the first time I ever stepped foot into his office. Just a feeling, but everyone that knows me knows that I have this uncanny intuitive sense-been that way since I was in 3rd grade.

No, I'm not a psychic, I just get these "feelings."
That's all.
Nothing more, nothing less.

My tooth on the other hand suffered much more yesterday. Which unfortunately I'll catch you up on later this evening.
Guess What Part Deux to follow.

Welcome to Crustybeef~
I'm living on Tapioca Pudding.


Cheryl said...

What a soap opera of a dentist office. My cousin's husband is my dentist. He's about as laid back as can be. It's a home office, and I know he lays down on the couch and watches TV between patients. He's very lazy. When his patients could use some work, like a bridge, let's say, he'll tell them he'll do it the next visit, that it will be fine till then. I'm sure it would be fine, but the business is going under because he's too lazy to do procedures. He's great at what he does, though, and I get all my work for free. I've never had to have a root canal, thank you lord. I'm thinking of you with your tapioca pudding. Here's hoping you're around more for the bewitching hours and not at the dentist!

SOUL: said...

tapioca aint so bad. is it? which brings me to a story... that i won't share here. :))

so... who was the albanian? and whatever will become of the sauntering frank? and if he goes down... who will you ogle while your teefs get worked on???? oh my. it's a cluster in crustyland!!!


ps.. get better so we can smoke & choke!!

austere said...

Trust you to catch the vibes. What a story..
tapioca pudding- what does that taste like?

SOUL: said...

well, crusty... i'm out here in YOUR virtual yard, smokin and chokin all alone.

hope you are ok, and not trapped in the fridge or suffering some other T3 hazardous consequence.

c ya latah


Cheryl: that's ashame that his office is taking a slide..doesn't it make you want to stick a novicane shot up his bum? Perhaps it's not that he's lazy, but more so frustrated at all the steps that it takes now for dental insurance, etc...from what you say it sounds like he loves what he does-wonder if he'd be best doing it pt-and getting a partner..."
Are you hanging outside on your glorious porch??? :)

Oh, I've loved tapioca pudding since, forever!! But when it's the only thing that you can eat-that and fluffy eggs, it's a bit frustrating..
Yeah, I have to update on the Albanian and the Sauntering Frank...just wait until you read about my stupid tooth-stubborn that's for sure..and doing it her own way, my tooth, I mean.
Smoke smoke HHhhhhhhhaaaaaaackkkkk

Austere: Hey there lady!! Hope you're having a good relaxing day today!! I know it's overdo, eh??
Tapioca pudding is a bit like Rice pudding, but made with smaller grains than the grains of rice. You make it with egg whites, and milk, and it's this fluffy (almost grits like) tasting pudding-it is quite good-unless it's all you can have. It's very very Sweet and some people prefer to eat it after it's chilled in the fridge, I on the other hand love it immediately out of the saucepan-hot hot hot!!!

I'm here. I'm catching up with you behind as's all bigdogg's fault. :) hee-hee..


Palm Springs Savant said...

I'm still in shock that you can buy a house for $289,000. Living in Southern California, everything is so expensive. WOW I forgot how whacked we are here

SOUL: said...

woo hoo. i thought you were mad at me... i know, kinda juvenile in blogland... oh i haven't heard from someone they must be mad at me....
or perhaps... living? or whatever it is people do in their lives.
sorry about your tooth. are you too afraid of the pain pills?
hey... noodles are soft. cup-o-soup perhaps?
peas? blech... no not peas.
i would find ya somethin yummy if i was there.
tell bigdogg of yours if he doesn't take care of you, and let you blog... i'll send a bigbass after him. :))
take care

waitin for part deux.


yeah, in that area 289 could get you a 3bedroom 1.5bath..but that still seems like a lot..
in my town, 289 will get you a condo-so ridiculous!!! How's your traveling excursions going?

Trust me, he's no fuddy duddy-after all, we have had three boys..heehee!! :) I've always vowed I'd never talk about our who knows, maybe someday :)
and I'd never be mad at my virtual all!! You're silly!!
I have my brother here with his girlfriend and their dog, George!-and they're presently fighting so I'm heading outside for a smoke..
see you soon!! :)


p.s. I HATE PEa's just like you put it, blah!
YUCK! :)
no episodes least that I can recall.

SOUL: said...

perhaps the not recalling it part could be good....
i hear ya on the sex life posts... i don't do that either... if i do, it's rare..and vague. leave a little to the imagination of the reader... right?
so... your toof is a she eh?
never gave my teefs a gender... except bitch. so yes, a she, i suppose that fits.

hope all is well in crusty land!

captain corky said...

My tooth started throbbing while I was reading this post. What a mess. Hopefully she'll treat her kid good.

Portia said...

wretched gossip!

i'm w/ cap'n corky- hope they can work out whatever they have to for the kid's sake.