Thursday, September 20, 2007

Men Are Just Happier People

Men Are Just Happier People--

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President. (heehee)
You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth..

The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station rest-room because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. I

f someone forgets to invite/wish you, he or she can still be your friend.
Such Formalities don't matter.
Your underwear is $4.85 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck. (and Back over in Crustyland)

You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife (or ur teeth!!!!! ??? ).
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.


*Thanks Ali for this funny chuckle.
I'll have a true posting a bit later, titled:
FAILED, REJECTED, and Suspended!

Welcome To Crustybeef~
I am a woman-HEAR ME cry. :)

18 comments:

SOUL: said...

this was sooo hilarious... if my memory was better there were a few i wanted to comment on, but i just don't have it in me to go through and pick em back out right now. but i love this.

i am not too sure about the upcoming one tho.. the title has me a bit concerned....should i be??? i hope you are ok???

wanna smoke?

Proxima Blue said...

Oh well. (sigh)

The gender stereotype jokes never do anything for me. According to these I'm more "man" then most men these days, and I clearly have a vagina, so...at what point will these jokes become obsolete?

In this respect, I am fortunate to be in the x-generation. Even in our current movies you see a shift. Women are no longer the damsels in distress, the victims to be saved, ...unless of course your still watching the Lifetime channel.

-P, a cocky little hussy. :>

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Soul: You'll get a bit of a chuckle on the Fail, Reject and Suspend..it's just the story of my life..stay tuned!
I'm tired today though..been really weepy..I've changed up some of my music. every song here, reflects something about me...:)
smoke...TWEETPhfffffffffff ahhhhhhhh, nicotine, take me away!!!

Proxima: hahah..very true on the stereotypes...this was something that I'd have read out of good housekeeping perhaps. :)
I am a woman, I have a vagina..it came with the rest of me..and if they don't like it? Than, suck iT!
not the Vagina,..but well, you know what I mean. :)
Glad to see you're back around, Your dear John made me quite anxious..you just can't leave us...:)
Always,
Crusty~

tex said...

I do know stuff about tanks!!!
German Tiger tanks had an 88mm Cannon and could hit enemy tanks 1 KM away.....
Your point taken.
Underwear is not 5 bucks a three pack...if you wear silk boxers. Not saying I do, but you get the drift.

CRUSTYBEEF said...

So, Tex..give me the barker price: PRICE IS RIGHT on undies?
Always,
Crusty~

tex said...

Oh god...way to put me on the spot!!!
Let's put it this way, silk ones are considerably more.....

KYRIE said...

Hope u are doing alright, Crusty. Why are u weepy today? I am also a bit worried bout u today.

Thank u for cheering me up with ur comments yesterday.

Crusty, today's post was really funny :). I do my nails with my teeth too though sometimes.
Take care crusty. Hope u are feeling better.

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Kyrie: I do too-bite my nails with my teeth..always gives me a cramp in my ankle and shin. :) hahaha..
I'm good..just weepy for no reason..you guys are both cute to worry...just been a long day and I did something tonite eXTREMELY unorthodox of me..It's almost I don't know, anyway..think PINK CAR!! :)
always,
Crusty~

SOUL: said...

pink car? oh lord crusty..did you buy a batmobile? lets go get portia, and have a redneck bbq!!!
oh alright lets just sMOKE n CHOKE....
do i need to catch YOU???
i will ya know. anytime...
pt 3 is up... it's not as awful as the last one. nothing is as awful as the last one.
lets go to your virtual patio!

austere said...

Very true.
How is the weather? here it just keeps raining raining and raining and I could sock in one in the jaw.

Something like dat?

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Soul: Oh GAWD no...no new or used car purchases over here...:)
I'm up...another busy grrrrrrr-day with the kids
I'll have some down time this afternoon for 2 hours so I'll catch up than!! :)

Austie: Are you sure you want to know? It's been so beautiful here..in the 70-80's..the week prior? one night 39degree's..thus the weather in Chicago-blink and it'll change.
Sock em-hahahah..I like that!!


Always,
Crusty~

Cheryl said...

Yes...this is full of stereotypes, but I still found it funny!

Cheryl said...

Call me politically incorrect. But just this once, OK?

SOUL: said...

i hope your day is good today... no ASS syndrome. btw reminded me of a pic i found for you ... i've had it for like a week, but , well, my senile.. i shall email it to you
ASS haha.

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Cheryl: How's this: PO!! Have a silent Yom Kippur tonite and tomorrow!!

Soul: I can't wait for it!! ASS..yeah...it's interesting around here..but I manage..in my crusted way, I do!

Always,
Crusty~

CRUSTYBEEF said...

P.S. I'm leaving yesterday for your bbq tomorrow SOUL!! :)

Always,
Crusty~

Portia said...

:)!

Palm Springs Savant said...

well it IS true! my granmother still complains that its a man's world! but I think she is right.