Thursday, September 06, 2007


For CB
As a veteran of the American cultural wars of the last 40 years, I beseech the ladies in this audience to let men be men. To do this you must first admit that there are natural differences between the sexes ("gender" refers to language, not biology) that are all but impossible to change. If you disagree with me about the previous sentence, go to another website at once. If you don't, you'll be wasting the next few minutes angrily pounding the daylights out of your keyboard.

If I ask you to let men be men, I've got to list my concept of what men are and what they aren't. From my experience, mistakes, and successes in life, men:
1) Are visual creatures.
2) Have the same psychological make-up as puppy dogs.
3) Are far more fragile than most would let on.
4) Have a degree of in-born coarseness that can be masked but not vanquished.
5) Generally squirm from touchy-feely situations.
6) Crave traditionally feminine behavior.

On the other hand, manliness isn't typified by:
1) Unbridled use of physical strength on those notably smaller or weaker.
2) Letting others take the fall for his mistakes.
3) Displaying a so-called "macho" attitude.4) Hiding behind his woman.
5) Having a disdain for gentleness or the cultural side of life.

Still with me even though you have a disagreement with some of the eleven aforementioned traits?

So how do I believe ladies can let their men be men?

First is one of the easiest ways: Feed him. Don't make him wait for his grub or feel as if his meal was an after-thought for you. No one said we have to return to the slavish, hot kitchen days of yesteryear. Heck, if he's nuts about Burger King, give it to him!

Whenever possible, praise him. Don't make him feel that the paycheck marches into the house on cruise control. If he's a great doctor, tell him! If he's a great janitor, tell him! If you see him marching off to work while ill or after a lousy night's sleep, praise him! Dispense that praise in regular doses but make it genuine, too.

Unless something god-awful takes place between the two of you, never withhold some form of romance as a way of punishing your man. Nothing but nothing good can come of this. Oh, and top go back to the previous paragraph, praise him for his romantic ways. He's not a machine; he's a testosteronally-charged, attention-needing, gravity-defying combination of flesh, muscle, and bone. Oh, and while you're at it, look good and smell good, too.

Finally, never fail to support him when the chips are down. Men are made to protect you and will go through a wall when they know you're with them. A man who gets shut down or abandoned when the game is on the line won't forget it. He'll forgive you but he won't be so quick to stand up and be counted the next time.

I see and hear a lot of confusion in society concerning what "maleness" is or should be. Sometimes I think that if we all let little boys be boys instead of trying to warp them into being reserved little girls, that'd make for a great start. Lest I commence firing on the topic of how grade schools strangle the daylights out of boyhood, I'll hit the brakes.

Thanks for reading.

Welcome To Crustybeef~
This was written and sent to me by "THE UD."
This written posting was accepted As Is and Shown- I refuse to edit it in anyway-it's well said, and I welcome his insight.
So, Thank You, UD, and thank you for the many conversations that we have had over in CB land all these years. I'm blessed to have you as my Godparent, and Uncle, that's for certain!!!

Fabulous post, isn't it?



You Rock UD, thank you very much!
I can always count on you!

tex said...

If I showed this to my wife, she would die laughing.....oh well.


why, tex? I think it's true! And Ud's honesty is awesome. How many guys do you know that will admit to that? It's like an Atheist walking in a church-you think he'd stand up in the pews and say, I don't believe in G-d...
did I get your mind rolling..

*you'll get a turn to post-can you handle the challenge?* :)
there's another guest poster, my first selection that will still be appearing on monday, but I wanted to slip one in for all of you guys!


dznutz said...

My take on it is even simpler...although UD put it very here it is, don't nag...and put out!! There's a happy marriage for you :)

SOUL: said...

this is sooo true. and soo funny. i say this kinda stuff all the time. doing it, however, is another story. except the food part. did somebody say FOOD???
gimmee a light !!!


Dnutz, lmao! I'm guilty of the nagging..but, (Cover your ears UD,) I do put out..we have three kids to prove it.
Stay away from those AZ snakes, momma!! I miss you!!

Soul: Food!! So, what type of food do you feed your soulman?
I thought I gave you back your lighter...SMOKE BREAK, tiny birdie!!


SOUL: said...

you did , then i gave it back to you... who has it now????

soulman got take out tonight... i didnt wanna mess up my clean kitchen !!! :)) i had to have at least a one day reprieve... dontcha think?

anyways... come over tomorrow... i'll cook... you clean... :))
then we smoke !

Anonymous said...

can we please hear more about grade schools and boyhood?
I've got a young man that just started kindergarten.

Cheryl said...

I liked his honesty, and I'm sure there was a lot of truth to what he said. In a perfect world, we'd all know how to please our man and, most importantly, they'd know how to make us happy.

Portia said...

very passionately written :)


AD: I'm with you on that one too..I'd like to hear more about his views on warping boys minds that begin grade school. :)

Cheryl: If only we could please everyone, right? Unfortunately that's not the case..but in this circumstance coming from a male point of view-someone that will never act like an "alpha male" he's genuine and a passionate honest remarkably smart man-I'm lucky he's my uncle!! :)

Too bad you couldn't have Hubband pop in a blurb or two on a random lunch whime. Does he know you blog?


SOUL: TWEET, I found your lighter, here ya go! I'm on my way over, ready to get cleaning!! :)

Anonymous said...

GReat read!!! I wish all women thought that way.. I like Dznuts comment: dznutz said...
My take on it is even simpler...although UD put it very here it is, don't nag...and put out!! There's a happy marriage for you :)
i agree with you D...


anon: Dnutz's comments was the perfect creme brulee to add to the delicious entree of Ud's great post!

SOUL: said...

you don't have to download anything. (yim)
let's smoke

Anonymous said...

"The War Against Boys" is the book in which one can find evidence that schools stack the deck against boys.


austere said...

Quite a bit of this my mother beleived in, and over the years I think she was right.
UD- good for you , having the guts to put it up in B&W.