Thursday, September 06, 2007

My Monday Guest Poster Friday Instead


"God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea,
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle's flight,
The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need.

Then God combined these qualities.
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,And so, He called it ... "DAD!"(unknown)

As I sit at my desk thinking of what it takes to be a good or a great DAD, I find myself reverting back to my childhood looking for the answers. All I find are memories of my mother and how she played that role after my father had left us when I was five.

How does one become a good or great Dad when there was no one there to teach them the art of fatherhood through their entire life? I often find myself sitting, playing or listening to my three beautiful boys and all I can think about is how terrible of a father I am.

I get frustrated, I yell and the whole time I am doing this all I can think about is my kids hating me. It is awful to think to ones self that they are a horrible parent. It makes me want to crawl out of my skin and look that terrible father in the eye and tell him what a lousy job he is doing.
There are things that I do really well as a father and I know that; however, I just can’t get past my fears and insecurities. I want to be a great father and I want my kids to look up to me. The problem is I don’t know how to do that.

I was never taught, I never had a father to show me the ropes, give me so valuable life lessons that I can pass on to my boys. It is a feeling of complete emptiness. I often sit on my bed or on the couch and it might seem like I am watching TV or sleeping but I am actually crying my heart out inside. How do I get past this?

I am lucky to have a wonderful, caring, loving amazing wife who helps me out when I am down and who often gives me advice on what I should or should not do when it comes to the boys. I would be lost with out her. I guess one thing that I can do to turn the tides is follow this quote and hope everything else falls into place.

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."
(...Author Unknown)

Crusty, Thanks for allowing me the opportunity to be a guest on your incredible site.
Thank you.

Welcome to Crustybeef~
No, thank YOU, guest speaker, for showing all us moms out there that dads are just as insecure about their parenting skills (even if they don't want to sit down with us and have a therapy session about it) as us. You are a terrific, loving, doting dad, and I'm glad that your boys have you.

They (your sons) and your wife are very very lucky to have someone so caring in their lives.
Ani Le Dodi V'Dodi Li-anf


SOUL: said...

took my breath away. i have no words to say more. beautifully written. your family is very lucky.


You tell him, Soul..That's exactly what I said.

I'm sure he'll be happy that someone commented..he was beginning to take it personal-"no ones leaving my post a comment.."
men are just as insecure about things as us ladies are.


SOUL: said...

aren't they tho? but that's alright. it takes a real man to admit it...and yOURS did. so phfffft on all the rest of em. cept mine.

so, you're goin to a bday party eh? hmmm. no smoke break then huh? well. fridays do get slow around blogland. people have lives. and me? i just , well, don't.

have fun! and eat somethin yummy for me.


tex said...

Well written....yer not alone.

Anonymous said...

It's amazing, guest post-er, that I as a mother feel exactly the same way you do, yet I have never been able to articulate my feelings like you just did. I honestly sat here and cried because 1)I know that hurt, and 2) it makes me feel awful that anyone would feel that way.
I wish I had some wisdom to offer. I wish I could solve this problem. I wish I could make you feel better. But all I can offer is my understanding, my camaraderie, and my true desire that these feelings dissipate. I do know that they spring from such a profound love that you have for your children, and that's a good thing. I also offer you my gratitude for putting into words what I have felt so many times.

austere said...

This is so honest. This person is lucky, and so is his family.

Beautifully written.

captain corky said...

Very nice!

I can relate to having lots of insecurities about being a dad and worrying about everything that's going on right now, and worrying about things that wont take place for 20 years. Crazy stuff, but so worth it.

KYRIE said...

Hey crusty.
This is a good post. Nobody posting on Monday then?
With all the guests posting, crusty is taking a break :)

Derna said...

You are a great dad because you think about things like this - you deeply care for your family and you try your best. Your kids may not always "like" you, but they will always love you deep down. As they grow they will realize it more and more. You are a wonderful man and I know that the example you are setting for your boys will be much appreciated by them years down the road.

abbagirl74 said...


SOUL: said...

crusteeee where are yoooooooooo

SOUL: said...

no crusty.

Palm Springs Savant said...

how cool. so didja ever think in a million years that you would be this responsible at this point in your life??

Anonymous said...

Hello CrustyLand,

I would like to take this time to thank everyone who read my guest blog and responded with such care and intelligence that is always apparent on this incredible Blog. I would like to thank Soul for bring so much to the blog as well as to Crusties life. Annon. Your comment made me tear. Thank you.


Thank you so much for making me feel so much better about who I am as a person and a father. You are truly loved and i am very lucky to have you as my sister in law.

Capt. We know how hard it can be and I want to thank you for your vote of confidence.

Palm Springs: I never thought I would have kids and all the responisbilty that goes along with it. I am lucky taht I have loving great kids and I am even luckier to have crusty by my side.

Austere: Your comments mean so much and I am the lucky one..

Thank you everyone.