Friday, October 12, 2007

Bugs Bunny is No Longer A Friend Of Mine

Yesterday morning I rose of out my bed, tired and groggy. In the middle of the night Sullivan came into our room due to a nightmare. He fell back to sleep right way but left me with the sounds of his snores. The longer this snoring goes on, the closer we come to having one more medical cost-a tonsillectomy charge.

Sullivan woke up again around 5am saying he was thirsty, so I satisfied his parched throat with a glass of late night lemonade. Or should I say, early morning leeemonnade?

His mouth moistened, he fell back asleep. Immediately launching into his snores of slumber. He's 3 and the noises that come out of his mouth when he's in dreamland could make the BLUEMANGROUP go under.

Naturally, I couldn't sleep anymore, so I woke up, made my coffee, picked up a bit, posted my story about the bigdogg's and my smoke chat, and decided to bury my nose in my book before the boys woke up.

I never made it to the book. Not long after Bigdogg left for his walk to the train station, (which is before 7am) Sullivan came downstairs, his 'blank' over his shoulder, he had this look on his face that screamed, "I'm TIRED, Cranky and don't want any problems from you, dear mom."

Uh-oh, I think to myself, lets settle this before it erupts into a crazy morning in Crustyland.
Sullivan turns towards the TV and whines, "I want to watch TV." No good morning greeting, no smile, or twinkle in his eye, just that 5 word sentence.

Usually I'd make a bigger deal of it, request a please and a more pleasant greeting, but understanding that he'd been up in the night, had woke a few times, I decided to cut the little guy some slack and just appease his cranky mood and turn on the TV. There are just some people that can't wake up every morning happy. They wake up as if ruined, that they've been met with another day to walk through. Obviously with Sullivan he's too young to think like that, but he does need to ease into his mornings for the most part.

I flip on the TV, giving him a quick morning hug before his hands and arms have time to react by pushing back, "quick, ward off the sensitivity, I'm not awake yet, mom!"
Right away we're met with the colors that only young minds can sit and manage, the PLAYHOUSE DISNEY channel on our TV which is channel 290.

"I want to watch that. Bugs!"

So I set down the TV remote, as Bugs Bunny and his fellow pals are running around doing their morning routine like animals with too much coffee in their system. (I wonder to myself if that's how I look when I hit my 8cup mark mid morning.)

Heading upstairs to get Ben up and breakfast prepared for the 3 boys, I remind Sullivan that today is a school day for him, that he's been given a special treat to watch TV before school, and shortly it will be time to come upstairs for breakfast.

No comment.

20minutes later my request for Sullivan's presence in the kitchen,begins.
No answer.

I am trying to teach my boys a "ONE request response system." Or rather, my "ORRS."
Meaning, I ask you to come upstairs to eat breakfast-my request-
I expect you to respond-by coming upstairs.

Yeah, right! A 3 year old that hasn't slept well the previous night, already woke up cranky, and I suddenly expect him to be a scholar? I'd have better luck teaching him to pee in the shower than I do with this "ORRS" system.

My request, my bird call for Sullivan, went unanswered except with a grunt from down below in our family room. I reminded him, "Sullivan, I only am asking you one time, so do you want nice mommy or upset mommy?"

No footsteps heard approaching the stairs to come up to the kitchen.

"SULLIVAN, Come upstairs now! Breakfast is ready, and you have 40minutes before school starts, LETS GO!"

"I WANNA WATCH BUGS!" High tones, drawn out enunciation of his words, very dramatic was
what his answer sounded like.

I'm the type where I don't want to sit and argue and battle with my three year old. So, taking my own actions I walked downstairs, walked over to the TV, switched it off, turned towards my Sullivan, lowered my head at him, giving him my mommy glance, and with my finger and arm I pointed to the stairs. As if warning him silently, "don't push it buddy, go, to the stairs now."

He didn't.
He cried about Bugs. "I WANT BUGS!" "I Want to watch Bugs!"

Sure after thinking about it later, it wasn't BUGS that he wanted, he wanted more sleep. He wanted more time to wake up from his cranky slumber. But when you have three children to get up, dressed, diaper change for the kicking Ben, hearing Jack complain that "he's freezing,"breakfast made and eaten, vitamins swallowed, teeth brushed and have the car now warming up since it was only about 43degrees yesterday morning, my mind didn't have time to sit and figure out Sullis' Bugs Bunny desire. I needed him upstairs, NOW. I needed him to just listen to me. To follow thru with what I asked of him the first time.

I was tired too.
When do mommies get to rest?

From that point on it was a complete disaster. Sullivan refused to move from his cemented spot on the couch. His tears waking up everyone with the noise levels coming from a mouth and nose that no longer seemed clogged with drama's from his snores of the night past.

He was a mess. Crying to the point where the heaving begins in his chest, broken sobs coming to an end, but with that type of hiccup noise. "HAA-HAA-HAA-HAAAAAAAAaaaaaa." Like they can't catch their breath. Funny, I remember reaching that point of tears and crying when I was a little girl. I remember being so frustrated that I couldn't settle myself down and thus the hiccup tears would begin. My chest heaving up and down, the sounds coming from my chest as my tears come to a close.

Sullivan's tears silently rolling down his chubby cheeks, he was pissed off. He was tired.
But so was I, and I admit, I didn't react as best I could. I didn't have time to sit and deal with it all. I needed to get him together, dressed, and ready for school.

Obviously from how he was reacting, looking back I feel as though I was damaging him. But than I think to myself, NO, I wasn't! I was being a mom. I was trying to go easy on his cantankerous mood by allowing him to watch TV on a school day, and instead it backfired.

I've come to the conclusion that it wasn't my fault.
It's the subliminal messages from Bugs Bunny and his crew.
I'm not a big fan of the Bunny after yesterday. I mean, look at the arrogant look in his eyes in the picture at the top of this post. Such a pompous ignorant Rabbit. Just because he can talk, that makes him some sort of superstar? I'll show HIM a superstar! Smell my Pits you ASSHOLE!

Hearing his voice makes me cringe with the flashback dramaS of yesterday -heard around the Breakfast table.-

Life as A Stay at Home Mom.

Welcome To Crustybeef~
He did go to school, he did make it on time*, and the kicker was, for the first time since Sullivan started preschool, he cried. He turned to me and cried. As Miss Sarah was taking him out of the mommovile, he turned to me and in a meek little voice said, "goodbye mommy, I'll miss you." His voice breaking, he caught the lump in his throat and he just started crying. He didn't want to go. He wanted to stay with me was what he was saying to both Miss Sarah and I.

That was what broke me. I came home. Put Ben in his playpen. Sent Jackson upstairs to brush his teeth since we didn't have time earlier, and I went outside and cried. I felt horrible for my Sulli Bulli. Here is this 3 year old that had a tough morning, that was getting in trouble due to not listening to his mommy, that was crying because mommy "yelled" at him, and then not 20 minutes later,(the morning drama's carried on for a good 20+ minutes) while in the schools parking lot, he's crying because he doesn't want to leave mommy. The mommy that was making his morning miserable.

Guilt is a terrible thing to hold onto as a parent. Working moms and Stay at home moms, the job isn't easy. But Guilt always finds you no matter what your role is. And when the guilt creeps into your heart, you're lost.

*According to his teacher, he was a dream to be around.

Naturally I could let guilt weave his way into my heart again and blame myself, but I can't..It'll only screw up my job as being my three sons teacher. But I am allowed to have the soften moments of guilt ridden tears hidden from the eyes of my boys and Bigdogg. I am entitled to that much, I'd like to think.


Cheryl said...

Whoa Crusty, what a morn. I feel so sorry :(. You know I have only one child, but we've had our mornings. Had is the word. There's always another day, and they're usually better. And Sullivan will forget, but probably be more inclined to follow the OORS. You're a great mommy, but a person. Cheer up.

Portia said...

Cheryl put it perfectly! You're an awesome mom and it sounds as if you did the best you could to get through a rough morning. The AM can easily get stressful when you're trying to get out the door and nobody's even quite awake yet! Oh, and Crusty..I knew you drank a lot of coffee, but 8 cups before noon? WOW:) i hope you're having a great day!!


Cheryl: so it DOES Get better? :) IT's hard because after the speed of drama settles down, it's that guilt that makes me crazy!! But I will take your advice because you definitely know what you're talking about here..And I'll hope that someday the ORRs will take place in Sulli's thought process. :)

Portia: Funny about the entire thing, I was thinking of you later on..remembering what it was like to have to get out the door to be at work, have the two boys ready, full bellied dressed for daycare..personally I think it's far more challenging for a working mom because it's everyday every morning, every evening...

yeah, 8cups is alot, and rest assured I don't drink that much that often, but I can throw back a min of 5cups pretty quickly. Hey, guess what, It's frrrrriiiiiiiidaaaaaaay...and you're leaving us for the weekend..but you deserve a great rest this weekend.


KYRIE said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
KYRIE said...

I hope the little guy and u will feel better afterwards.
I never liked Bugs tht much :) X-Men, spiderman, etc I loved those cartoons better.

I had espresso milkshake 2 days back and I thought would not hv Crusty loved this :)

Bye Crusty!

abbagirl74 said...

sigh... I remember those days. I actually miss those days. Treasure the bunny day, never forget it. Don't look at the bunny in a bad way, but think of it as a little milestone. He's getting older and before you know it, he will be 12 and so independent. Can you guess how I feel about my 12 year old? It sucks seeing them grow up. Treasure every moment. Even the bad bunny days. ;)


kyrie: YUm, an expresso milkshake, it sounds delicious!! I agree with you, the superheros like Xmen, Superman, Wondertwins ACTIVATE!! :)

Abba: you are absolutely correct, and it's so important I remember that because someday they'll all be big and "Growed up" and I'll be crying about emptynest syndrome..I will cherish the bunny moments, and someday when Sullivan has children, I'll pull out my Sulli archives to help him be a better parent. :)


Portia said...

DUDE:) challenging is the word. i don't think it matters if you are a SAHM or if you work outside the home, we all make the best choices we can and then do the best we can with what comes from it. i understand the guilt because i have issues with it too, but when i feel like i've done something i wish i could do differently, i just be sure that i learn from it. it's not really my place to say one way or the other, but i am quite sure of the fact that you are an incredible mother and your boys are blessed to have you!!!


I so agree with you dear P!
I just remember how hard it was when in the working mom role, and I give you so much credit to manage it all as well as you do! if anyone is an incredible mommy, you are..and your bears are so lucky to have you as their mommy!
Don't go P! :)

Anonymous said...

Amazing!!! We had the same issue and I think it may have been on the same morning. NO TV on school mornings has been a well-established rule here with my 12 and 6 year olds. But my little son has been struggling with allergies lately and asked if he could please just once turn it on, as all our morning stuff was done. I reminded him that we would have to leave in the middle of a show, but he SWORE it would not be a problem...
Guess what???
It was a problem.
Shame on me.
Love, AD

SOUL: said...

hiya girlie....

here i am... cruisin thru crustyland... thinking to myself... this poor crusty sounds like you, soul, carrying all that guilt...when she shouldn't.
then what happens? i come in here to the box, to leave you some cheery words, or "great" advice... and what do i see?

that you posted this very early this morning, and somehow- i didn't see it. somehow- i skipped you on my link list!
even though i talked to you and you to me in soul land---- i didn't come over today.
and now i feel all guilty!
how did this happen?
i'm sure i came by .. didn't i?
if not..i am soooooo sorrry.
and i'm sorry you had a rough morning.

wanna take our guilt ridden selves outside? smoke? need a light?

i hope your day - and night- got better.

(catchers mitt?)

Anonymous said...

oh no crusty... i know how you feel. our coffee bean had LOTS of those mornings when she was three...and because i had (have) an outside job...when it was tempting to just LET her stay meant that I had to drag her off to daycare where the reaction would be much the same as your little guy. then coffee bean would NOT want to leave me..and i would pull myself away from her and go to work..all the while feeling like the devil-mom. DOES get better. coffee bean is now five and those moments are now far and few in between. breathe deeply...only a couple more years! at five you can start to try and talk sense into them and they will for the most part..have the ability to comprehend. Good luck.. better go over to Soul's for that smoke n choke!

captain corky said...

Sorry it was so rough for you the other day, but consider this: I'm a product of an entire generation that was raised on Bugs Bunny and the Rabbit's a genius. He could fuck with the best of em. I learned everything I know from the master so don't deprive your children of Bugs because of one rough day. There going to need to learn from the master to deal with this world. ;)

simonsays said...

Your post brings back SO many memories. SO many. There were mornings I wasn't sure who cried more, my child or me, on my way to work. You are right, guilt is the nightmare of parents. And you are also right, usually, it is unwarranted. I guarantee, no matter what you would have done yesterday, the morning would have sucked. It was predestined. I have three kids also, but my sons are only fourteen months apart. I remember getting one dressed, turning to the other to help him, and by the time I finished, the first one was completely naked again! The only advice I can offer? You will survive. ALL of you. In spite of yourselves. And your kids will someday be good buddies, although one day soon they will probably hate one another and you will wonder what the hell you are raising. But then they will grow up, and it will be so very worth it. Seriously. :)