Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Anyone Wanna Get Toad Licked?

Yes, you read the title right, it's about TOAD LICKING!

Apparently it's the newest craze or "fad" that law abiding officers have recently uncovered.

It involves capturing a Sonoran Desert toad just to get "TOAD SMOKED."

People are able to extract the venom from the toads by "simply" frightening them. The venom is secreted from the Toad when he is upset, and it contains a hallucinogen called bufotenine that people have figured out how to dry out, heat up, roll up, and smoke up, for a buzz. Thus FINALLY being able to top shelf the old way of toad-er-lly getting high which was licking the venom, hence the term,Toad Licking!

Introducing the newest substitute method of highness, Toad Smoking!

Warning to those interested in this idea!!: Whereas it isn't illegal to possess this type of toad out in say, Missouri, using it with the intent of getting high is in fact illegal.

Think it can't get worse than that?

While we may be so quick to judge those that enjoy the occasional puff puff of the sticky venom, while we may sit and grumble about how worthless someone really must be to not only take the time to do the TOAD SMOKE, but to pathetically take the time to upload a video on the world wide web seeking step by step instructions on how to extract the venom as well as how to make it taste delicious without the side affects of warts, is just pitiable, there are worse ways of getting high:

Sniffing fermented human waste.
Yes, you read right,
People are getting getting high off of peoples "matters."
Fecal matters, I mean.
I really hope this is an urban legend.

Welcome To Crustybeef~
Suddenly pet stores are filled with young adults/tweens/teens looking for that most perfect pet frog, while applying for part time jobs at the sanitary waste dump-all for the need of getting that quick fix. Wonder how hard it will be to lock up the frogs and doodie diapers I toss into the trash that ends up at a landfill. Can't be as hard as it was when they locked up the Whip Cream Canisters and Sudefed tablets, right? But it all makes sense as to why the high school kids enjoy stopping by my trash cans on garbage day.

Side note: These toads are now possibly extinct out in California..according to this website:
Is it wrong if I should presuppose why?


tex said...

It's come to this to get stoned?

Mary said...

I never cease to be amazed. Some people will try anything. Toad licking and doodie sniffing. I shudder to think what might be next.


tex: I know! This is one thing I find very hard not to judge..I mean, come on!!

Mary: It's so gross..but people do get desperate right? :)


The Real Mother Hen said...

Toad Licked?
Wow that's pretty scary stuff!
And I see $ sign now, I've plenty of Mother Hen fermented waste, I can make some real good money with it :)


The real MommaHen: HA!!
I like how you think...perhaps a joint venture? I have lots of the good au natural doodie diapers!! :)

Kelly Jene said...

Oh, Crusty, where do you find this stuff?! LOL How funny. But sadly, I had heard of it before.

Whatever happened to getting high on life?

And what whacked out person first thought to lick a poisonous frog just to see what would happen?


Kelly Jene: Ribbbbbbbbbbbbbbeeeeetttttttttttt!! I found it on yahoo..bizarre, I know!!
I'd rather kiss a frog before I'd lick a toad. Ewwww...

captain corky said...

This story makes me want to meet the freak that figured this out, and shake his hand. LOL

Mike said...

Crusty, thanks for stopping by.

I wonder how many different species of toad the original guy had to lick before he found the “right” one?


capt: HAHA..somehow I figured you'd enjoy this post! don't know why... :)

Mike: You're welcome! And thank you for having me! Nice comment!hahah.


mosiacmind said...

i heard about that a few years ago and it seemed so gross to me then and now! i usud to use some but would never think even in my using days would want to lick a toad.

Anonymous said...

Sure, I'll chat up a toad from time to time, but lick 'em? No thank you.

...and people think I'm weird!


Portia said...

Good one Crusty! It takes all kinds...

I hope you are having just a marvy ol hump day in Crustyland:)

Kelly Jene said...

Happy Hanukkah!!

Andrew said...

In prison, the item used to start a culture of prison hooch (wine) is a dirty and well used sock. Put that in your pipe and smoke it! lol I've actually been so desperate for a drink that I thought of trying it. There are tons of recipes on the web for prison hooch. Time to go to AA! LOL


Mosiac Mind, I know exactly what you mean..but when people have that urge for a high, they will take whatever they can get, right? How are things with you? Better??? I hope so..I hope Gracie is giving you many of her arfie smiles!! :)

Proxima: HA! I like that..chat up a frog..and I thought I was odd by talking to birds. :)

Portia: It's FRIIIIDAAAAAAAAY now! YEA!!!! happy weekend for you and your awesome family!

Kelly Jene: YOu are sweet, thank you very much!! COEXIST!!!!

ANdrew: HAHAH...I love your comments!!hmm, so when my wine well runs dry I shall delve into my laundry basket for one of bigdoggs old socks! Hope your meeting went well friend!


Palm Springs Savant said...

that is really wierd!


PSS: I know!! I'd much rather drink wine! :)