Thursday, January 03, 2008


The child of the odd father, or rather, strange father, is coming over today for a play date.
They've been calling us every few days since the day school let out for break.

The dad is just odd. The group of friends we gather with all agree that there is something not right with this man.

No, it has nothing to do with him being a stay at home dad, as I indirectly know a SAHF and he doesn't strike me in the same manner as this odd ball.

It was recently brought to my attention that this child showed another child where his dad's gun was-which so happened to be in the garage in an easy to reach place for a 6 year old.
Here's my thoughts:

*It's wrong that this 6 year old child is even aware that his father owns a gun.
*It's wrong that the father has the gun stored outside in his garage.
*It's terrifying to know that not only does this child know where his dad's gun is, but can get easy access to it.

Needless to say, my son will never go and play there without my supervision. If that.

The child is a bit off, and doesn't always respond to adult stimulation, or rather, direction. I've written about this child before, as well as the dad, and whereas I don't want to ostracize the family, I have to think of my own family dynamics, because it takes one slip up. One ounce of typical child curiosity and I would never forgive myself if something happened to my son.

The father, I can't seem to put my finger on it.
I have a few theories, and it really doesn't matter what the reasoning is behind the fact, but what matters is that my instincts tell my back to give me goose chills. There is something off with this man.

I've seen a few things so far:

1. On our groups dad's and sons camping trip back in October, the father didn't drive with his son-mind you this is his only child too-he put his son in Bigdogg's car and said he'd have much more fun driving with Bigdogg. (Personally, if it's a dad son weekend, wouldn't you THINK he'd want to be with his son?)

2. At a bowling excursion two months ago, the dad drank more jack and cokes than Sullivan knocked down bowling pins-with the bumpers up. It didn't faze him a bit to put his light weight son in the front seat of his truck without even a booster seat. He shouldn't have been driving, his eyes were terribly glassy, and his mannerisms became extra strange while he ran around the bowling alley picking up a few of our groups sons, and tickling them a bit too tight, and a bit too aggressive.

3. I just don't know.
I wish I had more time to get into now, and we'll return to this topic of ass-grabber later on as I need to shower and make sure all sharp objects are hidden away.

What's difficult is that I get a strange feeling in my gut, and other moms have the same feeling, but what do we do? They live on the next block, their son is in the same class as ours, and the dad is just a very odd person that makes me nervous. Matter of fact, one friends daughter told her mom that she doesn't like this said dad because he always tickles her when he sees her, and the tickles too hard. There is something disturbing about him, and the fact that I was recently informed about the gun factor, there is no way in hell that my son will be over there.

It will be interesting to see how this play date goes. The last one we had, this child wet his pants, and than dad proceeded to say, "oh wow, that has never happened before, what's wrong, "son," you seem like something is depressing you?"

Last time I checked, the father is supposed to be a father to this 6 year old, not a therapist or friend.

Wish me luck, and I'll talk more in detail about this fellow at a later date.

Welcome To Crustybeef~
At least by having the child here, I am able to manage the play date, although having one more boy in this house isn't always easy especially since this child is someone that I need to hover around whereas other play dates aren't in need of constant supervision.
We shall see if it goes well, and if not, my plan is to just approach it as the following,"my son and yours aren't really getting along so well at this point, therefore I think it'd be best that they take a bit of a break from each other."

I wonder if the principal of Jackson's school has ever received a letter requesting her son NOT be put in a class with another student. I'd be curious. And I hope that next year in 1st grade, this child won't be in Jackson's class.

More on this later. This was a quite ramble..shower, clean, and knives to be put away. (Sarcasm!)


Elaine said...

Go read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker. and you'll stop questioning yourself. You KNOW something is wrong with this guy and are making a really smart decision to not allow your kid over there without you. He's dangerous. That gun in reach of a 6yo is VERY dangerous. Driving while drunk is waaaay dangerous.

Follow your gut on this. It's YOUR job to keep your kid safe and keeping away from this situation is smart.

Anonymous said...

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Mary said...

Crusty, You are wise to be extra watchful. Of course, the gun is a prime concern. It speaks volumes about the father. Driving drunk is unforgivable under any circumstance but with the child in the vehicle is criminal. The hard tickles - or any tickles, for that matter - is out of bounds for outsiders. That said, the red flag for me was the wet pants and the father's reaction. It sounds like a threat to me. Why would the father relate wet pants to depression rather than the child waiting too long to go to the bathroom. (Kids sometimes do that when they are having fun.) Where is the child's mother? How does she fit into the scheme of things?

I'm afraid I'd have to talk - not write - with the school principal and request that father not be allowed near my son under any circumstances.

Sorry if I sound too forward in this comment but I feel the need to throw up flags - not only for your children but for the other child, as well. Normally this would be put in a private email but not this time.

Kelly Jene said...

Wow.. girl listen to your instincts!

This almost makes me wonder if the child is safe with this dad? Doesn't sound like it if there is drunk driving going on. I just see a tragedy happening or someone else's child getting hurt. I hope the play date goes well. Let us know. ((hugs))

Anonymous said...

I agree with everyone who has left a comment. you are a great mother with incredible instincts...he is weird and #1 is not allowed to go there alone...btw ....i love you..

SOUL: said...

holy crap what a weirdo. parents like that don't deserve to have kids. i wouldn't let my kid be around him either. and i would let someone know about the gun being in reach.. that is a crime ya know. geesh. i feel for that little boy.
anxious to hear how the day went ..

simonsays said...

Go with your gut! All the time, we question ourselves, when we already have all we need to know. We don't need to know "why", we only need to know that something isn't right.

You are a smart woman. ;)

Cheryl said...

I agree with you and everyone else...stay away from this man and keep him away from your kids. Be very blunt if that's what it takes...just keep him away. What a difficult situation to be in. Yuck!

Anonymous said...

My stomach just turned to ice. I work in social services and my gut says this situation needs to be reported to the local child protection agency. Aside from the fact that this man seems creepy (and I also read "The Gift of Fear" and agree with the first comment), the fact is that a child is in danger. Best of luck to you.

austere said...

Something is way off,Crusty.
Take care.

Anonymous said...

yes..follow your gut feeling...then again..if you live on the same's hard... one wrong move and you could have a maniac on your hands..just go it slow and use a little more caution than usual..things will go ok. let us know how things go!

SOUL: said...

well, how'd it go? where's the update on weirdo man?

Anonymous said...

You have the right and the DUTY to sniff out neighbors who are lousy parents.

If you don't like your boy being with the dopey dad, don't let him go over there. If it's at a neutral sight, monitor activities closely. If your guy is very fond of his classmate, have him over to YOUR place for short spells where you can supervise.

Above all, never let the neighbor man be allowed into a position where he might compromise the safety of your son.

The problems you have with screwy parents when children are small are minor compared to what will be out there in 5-7 years. This is spring training for early adolesence parenting, work hard and it'll pay off later.


Portia said...

Follow your instincts, Crusty, that's what they're there for.