Saturday, March 29, 2008

Dear Dad

To my Tall and Gentle Dad:

A 6ft and more than 4inch tall man that managed to turn riding on his shoulders into a trip around the moon. That would spend hours on our living room floor playing boat and alligator with his young children even though his own body ached from hard laboring work that he did for us, even though he'd much rather have his dream of being that young 20something year old basketball star.

As a young girl I craved my dads silly playful ways as he was always working and as a grown woman, I now understand why.

He never spoke of his feelings, he'd keep them in, dealt with them his own way. Now, as time has gone by, and maturity earning a face from his eldest of five, you can see the emotions he carries, simply by the way he adjusts his face.

Yet he won't complain and speak ill will of it, he'll continue to give and give even when his giving tree is bare.

He detests gossip and anything hurtful, and should anyone hurt his children, he'll be there in an instant.

My dad- a tough man to break. He may shed tears from pain in his life, but you'll never witness the tears, nor his fear or frail sadness from broken family relationships. He's tall, intense, and extremely hardworking with so many strong characteristics, yet a man that is equally forgiving.


In painful moments he will be the first one there, he will show his tender side in times like that, with a gentle voice and a safety that you could only get from a hug from your dad.

On the day of Jackson's birth, my dad was there with me in the laboring room. The moment that he appeared in the frame of that hospital room doorway as his tall and broad frame walked into the room, suddenly the pain of everything else that was going on minimized with his presence. I didn't want him to leave my side. He offers you a sense of grace and strength even though it's often quite silent.

Sure there's the issue of acceptance that I carry within myself, you know, in regards to how I feel a relationship between a daughter and her dad should be, but then again when I look at all the silent giving and intense sacrifice that he has extended to not only I, but my two other sisters, my two brothers, and naturally his bride of 35 years in August, my heart cries and prays to learn more from him, to gain more insight and to be more like him in character and positive energy with a side order of strength. Besides he gives to me what he knows is best. People don't always stop and think about that. He gives what he knows and has learned and witnessed from when he was a young boy.

He is who he is and he loves me to the best of his ability and has always been someone that when the rocks are overturned, he'll be there with a calm face, will be ever so willing to lift up that rock while I crawl from underneath it. His voice, that soothing comforting voice, not dictating, but guiding. He's given me more then he ever got from his own mom and dad, and again I know I've already said it, but I can't stress the sacrifices he has made, to raise five children.


Sure the sports obsession and football fanatic life style that he loves, gets old, yet in the big picture and naturally when I am wise enough to just stop and sit back and just listen, he's someone that I admire, respect and hope to continue to learn and grow from, so yes, I do have to say, My dad is my hero. A tall, broad and forgiving not to mention a big hearted Fella.

Happy Birthday Dad, I Love you for who you are-all of it and even the annoying stuff.

Thank you for loving me.

I'll say it one more time, you are my hero.

WTCB.

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

that was so sweet elizabeth! everything you wrote about dad is so true! love you!

derna

SOUL: said...

lucky girl--lucky man.

you made me miss my dad here.

happy weekend-

Martha said...

That was lovely. I think you summarized the way most of us women in this generation feel about our dads. I hope your dad reads your blog and gets to read this!

Diane Vogel Ferri said...

A beautiful tribute - any girl with a dad like that has been blessed - I'm among them.

CRUSTYBEEF said...

derna: I'll see you soon! Kiss my lil nephews!! DONNIE DARKO! :)

'yeah yeah..'

Soulie: You have a nice weekend too!! Warm and comfy without any cold or rain or wind..just peaceful and funny...pain free!!! :) S&C? I'll take the C!

Martha: Thank you!! My dad doesn't read my blogs, but maybe someday he will! In the meantime, I'll just make sure to tell him or write it down in his cards, and naturally when I can be graced with giving him a big hug and kiss. Actions always speak louder then words, right? How are you feeling?

Diane: I still think of your wonderful post to your dad! I am lucky to have him even the rough around the edges debateful parts! :)

HAPPY WEEKEND TO EVERYONE!!

Always,
Elizabeth

The Window Watcher said...

Damn good....I can still picture how much of a joker he was with us neighbor kids back in the day...he was always the coolest dad in the neighborhood.

Anonymous said...

Eliz:

I e-mailed your Mother to MAKE SURE your Dad reads this. I can't think of any tribute that would be much more mving than this.

UD

Anonymous said...

Agh! Make that "moving", not the typo.

Mary said...

A beautiful tribute. One any parent would treasure.

CRUSTYBEEF said...

The Window Watcher:
He has the mischevious twinkle, and is fabulous at telling old tales..I love my dad's laugh and how his eyes tear up with humor, when he leans forward and slaps his knee,...I'm lucky! He looked so happy tonight!!

UD: I am blushing! I appreciate you thinking of me (and supporting me like a true relative does with a unique Godfather role)...and I am now sweating bullets! :) Thank you! That means a lot!!

TYPO: I understand, you're just "speaking teacher" my girlfriends that text me do that all the time, vowel removal, they too are former teachers.. :)

Mary: Awwwwwwww!!! Thank you too!WE all have our "things" and yes he is a strong opinonated man, but patient with seasoned hands, gentle but with calouses..a gentle giant, my dad...strong with steel too!

Happy Sunday!
Always,
Elizabeth

SOUL: said...

you'll take the C?
you haven't fallen off the wagon?
or is C= coffee?
too early for clues.. ahhhh
:))
happy sunday!

Cheryl said...

Very fortunate, that's what you are to have these memories and this man as your father. My father was a man who laid on the couch and did nothing with the kids or for the family but work. My mother did it all. I have no doubt my father loves his family, but has no tools to show it. So, treasure your father, as you do.

Palm Springs Savant said...

that was such a wonderful tribute to your dad. I lost my father when I was 15, I still think about him everyday..25 years later

abbagirl74 said...

Aw! This reminds me of my dad! Thanks for a great post.

simonsays said...

What a beautiful post Elizabeth. It almost made me cry...

He should read this.

:)

Foster Communications said...

Beautiful tribute to you dad. Be sure to send him this link, or, if he's like my dad, a print out. :)

ummmhello said...

OH that's beautiful. Most of us never take the time to really tell someone how we feel. Sounds like you could write a whole book for him!!

Kelly Jene said...

Aw sweetie, that was beautiful. What a beautiful relationship. Happy Birthday to your dad!

jAMiE said...

I lost my father when i was six...but i too think about him every day...i am so glad you treasure your father as you do..what a wonderful tribute..thank you for sharing it with us.

I hope you are well.

austere said...

Many happy returns of the day, sir.

Crusty.. you are so much like him, so much...He must dote on you and the kids.

SOUL: said...

hey there crusty--

looks like you tugged at a lot of heartstrings with this one. you DO have a way with words. :))

yesterday-- as i was watching soulkid and soulman talk and interact etc... it brought me back to this post-- and of course my own relationship with my dad.

my girl is blessed to have a dad like she has-- and i'm sure your boys are too---

you look a little small to have so much love to give... and receive.

i guess i could say "you're full of it"
i would be kidding of course.

can't wait til i get to chi-town again-- still up in the air-- but soon!

take care-
soulie!

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Soul: YOu got it! The C would be for coffeee...no wagon dropping--I think I'm outta the clearing, my surprise PHX trip was the make it or break it and I didn't crap out on it! :)

Cheryl: Thank you I will!! I have to improve on my insecurities over it, and whereas my mom did the child raising pretty much solo with Dad always working, you can see that he's trying to the best of his ability, and it's only right that I try then too,..because like I said just because I have an idea of how a Father daughter relationship should be, I have to remember that people don't think the same way, and since I am the eldest and the one that paved the way, well, basically I guess I'm saying that my dad loves me as best as he can, and I'll take whatever I can get because you just never know.
Monday-yeah for your SUnday!

PSS: A parent whether good or bad sticks in the memory for a lifetime, I'm sorry you had to lose yours so young...he would be a very Proud dad to have seen you as an adult, respectable and caring!!

Always,
Elizabeth

CRUSTYBEEF said...

abbagirl: He's quite the character, and he detests email and the internet..unless he wants my mom to look up something on football, or a past player for a sports story..he's always right with a debate on anything, but I kid you not, if I needed him, in times of hardship, he would be here to just hug me without even asking. He is the gentle giant...again and again..and very very tired. :(

Jaime: I don't know how he'd take certain parts of this post, but again, I have to "get over that" and trust in my heart and allow him to be him...he just isn't a following of this blog..never has read it so it would be interesting if my Mom does pass along UD's email..and reads it outloud. Maybe I should just print it out and give it to him in a card-for fathers day. :)

Foster C: HAHA! Yes, a print out for sure..my dad doesn't do the internet, he actually scoffs at modern technology unless it's useful to him...but when you have a person that is an "elder" that has certain mannerisms about themselves, you might say they display the "black and white set in their ways" the wings of no change type of person!!

SPRING BREAK FOR MY BOYS!! YES!!!

UmmmmmmmmmHellooo: Lol! THere would be passages in that book that would make someone's head spin for sure!! :)

Always,
Crusty~

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Kelly Jene: I.cant.put.it.down...
I woke up early this monday morning while *hoping that the boys would sleep in, just so I can advance the pages of Food for Jackels! I love it!!! thank you for the nice dad well wishes..he does have a big heart, and his bark is worse then his bite!


Jaime2: It's remarkable the role a dad has with their daughters, I'd be curious to know how the different dads of the world view how a relationship should be in comparison to their daughters..because there's that gentle side that females have that they crave from dad, and the toughness side that dads have that they want their daughters to learn to have...phew... I must slow down on the coffee! A good monday morning to you!
I am well, thank you for asking!

Austie: HA, the funny part is that my BDD if we are "debating" something, will be happy to remind me of how much I am like him too. :) I'm quite the stubborn one,..just like my dad. :O)Maybe that's why we haven't always seen eye to eye,(dad and I) not because of differences but because dad and I are exactly alike. :)

Soul: Full of coffee this morning, yes I am!!!
You are wise to come when it's warm, no more Oct/nov visits for you okay? Tell OldY I said so.
Did you ask Soultween what she expects outta her dad and a dad's relationship? And vice versa again? :) Anyways, it's monday, spring break for the boys so we'll spend the first day of break heading to Sauntering Franks place for their 6month teeth cleaning..should be interesting and full of stories...Sulli's up with me, so no qt book reading for me...but thank Glory for early am tv..
I saw you were up early..are you asleep now? Or walking evee or getting Soulkid up for the school day?
Happy Monday!
Chicago,..warm temps!
Thank you, btw. :)

Always,
Elizabeth

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Soul: P.s. the smallness is only in my eyes..just ask my tush, hips or saddlebags..not to mention my tummy..you can find the fullness in those regions! :) HAHAHAHAHAHA
HAppy Monday!
COffee break! YOU?
Always,
ME

Gypsy said...

Just stopping by to say hi Elizabeth and looks like I happened on a really wonderful post. I hope your dad gets to read this - every parent should know once in a while that their sacrifices have been appreciated and their love returned. Wonderful tribute.

Anonymous said...

very moving! He is very lucky to have as a daughter!..

Portia said...

This is completely awesome, Crusty, and it makes me want to be more forgiving of my dad. Thank you for sharing so much of what is in your heart. It's beautiful.
:)