You know that song, "Just Like A Prayer" by Madonna?
Yeah, that one.
Well, picture the tune, or "hear" the tune, and change the tune to 'Just Like A Dog.'
Sit tight, this is gonna be a long one. It's been awhile, and it shows that I'm recovering from my vacation, a sort of "back to beef" moment.
So tonight, my friends son is turning 6. So mom and dad decided last minute Thursday to have a sort of pizza cake surprise birthday party. All of our close neighborhood friends were coming; *Kina Josh and their three children.
Cathy Brian and their three children.
Caren and Pat and their son.
Kathy and Pat and their son.
Stacy and Bob and their two children...
...and one other family with a son named Bjorn.*
*(names changed but similar sort of)
Have I told you that although these people will never replace my ever loyal and awesome best friends, these families are in fact fabulous people that I care about, and am growing to absolutely adore. What's nice is that in many things we are all similar, and sometimes it's just good to be similar.
We had quite a few cocktails this evening. I had one beer and it moved from that to Pomegranate martini's created by husband and wife (Kina, the one friend that I feel most connected with for some reason, I don't know, it's just parental chemistry I guess).
She is a wonderful person, sweet, but also quite tough. She reminds me of one of my best friends, and in a strange way by being around her, it almost makes me feel like my friend that lives in another state, is here close to me, thru her.
I know it's weird.
If my out of state best friend had children, I think if she had young children of her own rather, she would be the spitting image of parental style as my friend Kina.
Kina lost her dad when her and her twin were 8 years old. At a family gathering, a BBQ, he dove into a pool, miscalculated the depth, and broke his neck immediately. They all witnessed it.
Tragic and we've talked about it.
But she's someone that has dealt with it and has such a positive outlook on life.
She is an amazing person.
I already love her like a sister, but this special type of newness, naturally adding to my already amazing friend networks. I don't replace I add, I don't believe in removing and deleting unless you really scorn me, (like sleep with my ex boyfriend and lie about it) but other than that, I don't operate like that.
So, anyways, we all had our drinks.
Children all over the house, upstairs, downstairs, outside playing flashlight tag in the dark (duh!) out in their backyard.
We had our drinks.
Ben had a slumber.
Yes, are you awake? Ben had a slumber, only like a dog, he walked into the room where the guys sat, with TV on, a large rug over the hardwood floor, and there he goes, into the room, up near the men, he cocks his head to the right, and turned in a circle a few times, and then laid down, just like a pup.
BDD said "lets go, he can't just lay on the rug like that, near the feet of all the guys with cocktails..." They were busy nursing their drinks, those sallies, and chatting over the obvious screeching of our beloved Big Ten Illini Orange bumpies, March Madness naturally.
Perfectly fine, might I add, as we, the women, were talking sex and pasts and crustiness in the eating nook of their kitchen. I told them about my name, my nickname, you know, crustybeef?
Yes, that one, I told them tonight. But they don't know I blog..not yet, because ass grabber and his wife who has definitely grown on me, were there. Still, I won't cross that road.
I have to be careful.
Anyways, BDD says basically, "lets go, he's sleeping on a rug."
I, on the other hand were more, "Leave him, he's okay, we're having fun, our parents used to stick us in the front seat on roadtrips without carseats..."
We stayed until 10:50pm. The other boys, our sons, played with all their friends.
How could we ever move anywhere else? It's too perfect!!
So, we left our Ben sleeping sprawled out on the rug of the floor of the lovely hardwood in the lounge of the home where the guys hung around being guys, while watching College Basketball.
Arrest me for Child endangerment please!
Someone pass me a power washer.
Actually I was thinking of protesting that BS that occurred with the woman arrested, and before your panties are rottled up your tush, I'm not referring to the power washer mom, but the Illinois coin mom.
Remember this is coming from someone that at one time last year, stuck their sons tush in the fresh pile of spilled wet muddy and mushy plant dirt that lay all over our realtor beige carpet, because he didn't listen when I told him to stop running around near our plants.
Plus, this was a plant that was given to me from my mom, it was my Grandmothers plant that she cared for in her own home until she passed. I have kept that plant alive and was so worried that the spill would have damaged the roots. Lucky for me, the plant, just like my Grandma was, is a strong cookie, and naturally Fran the plant survived the spill.
So, we left him.
On the rug.
Arrest me Barney Fife! Although I watched that show with my dad, and the memories of that are warming to me, I don't think law needs to put that much more pressure on us moms.
Give me a vacation and arrest me.
So he laid there over noise and guys and drinks NOT being spilled on him, a nice size room, but he lay there sleeping, like a college student passed out after doing one too many beer bongs.
But before you call the local law..be a lawyer and gather all the evidence, like the public safety officer DIDN'T do with the WALMARTMOM!
Have I mentioned that today he was so tired.
So, I laid him down at around 11:15am today, figuring he'd sleep again later on, after Jack's home from school, a few hours of a cat nap, just before we left for the party that was to begin at 6:30pm
He didn't sleep this afternoon after Jack got out of school.
Back pedaling, at 12:35pm, I walked into his room, TEN minutes before we had to leave to walk Jackson to school.
DOODIE FEST 101 all over again, like a failed student walking into the same course over again.
Little MacGyver asleep fetal position, with his clothes removed, his diaper removed and filled with number 2. Plus number 2 on the crib, himself, the sheets-I yakked!
I pictured those emails of the kids with tampons stuck to them, or with white paint spilled everywhere, but this, are you serious Clark? Nothing compared.
stuck, like someone painted yellowbrown-never mind....
Did I mention that we had to leave by 12:45pm to walk Jackson to school?
Flash to a soaking warm bubbles of a scrubbing bath.
Crying from him, obviously freaked out, asleep and then woken and without much warning on my part, a warm sudsy bath to clean his awful self.
I felt bad for him too.
Covered in poop.
Asleep and then woken up so quickly to that bath.
But I had less then 10minutes too until we had to leave.
Plus we still needed to go through with jackets, shoes and backpack too!
Oh, and before that happened, the other toilet clogged, my fault. Doodie too! I know, gross, but come on, REAL! I am real! Who doesn't take poops? Geeesh! Lets be real here people! You don't have to openly admit it, you can shake your head gross, but we all do it.
So it was a doodiedog days, and now maybe perhaps you have a better understanding why I just let him lay there on the rug sleeping tonight while I sipped Pom martini's.
Because I ROCK as a mom! Because I make mistakes, but I'm not going to let some Fife dictate how I parent.
So, arrest me.
I could use more time off. I do well at organizing too!
Make me the librarian.
But for goodness sakes, stop letting me pay for it with my tax dollars. Find the real criminals, and meanwhile, spend two weeks with children in crap weather, and you too will see that what that mom did was absolutely normal. I've done it too!
Meanwhile my son slept for 5hours with his head cocked to the side while on the drive back home thru Florida, so because he most likely needs a chiropractor, should I be arrested for allowing my son to sleep in that position for that long in a car? Should I be arrested for child endangerment?
How dare I!
There's a difference between power washing a child in a manual car wash, and leaving a sleeping child while in eye sight to drop off coins at the Salvation Army and take a picture while the baby, 2, lay sleeping in a running locked warm car, as the temperatures outside were not pleasant.
Annoys me, can you tell?
Arrest me, and put me in the same cell as this Tinley Park mommy (Charges I heard were dropped, but I don't have that verified) because I'd shake her hand, as I'd have done the same thing like her. After all, she made a judgement call, and you know what? Some things should be left to the parents to handle.
Between that and parents rushing to declare their children victims, like the 15 year old that is suing because he had fallen asleep during class, and the teacher hurt his ears by screaming in them to wake him up. SERIOUSLY CLARK?
These parents are making it worse for their own children's future. Rushing in to attack anyone that might hold their children accountable for their actions. This obsession with creating the perfect image.
To declare their children as a poor and dreadful victim is such a frustrating tactical maneuver which I'm sure ends up leaving newer parents and without a doubt, teachers, from thinking "whats the use?"
I would, because standards become eroded.
As much as you would think that it's best to paint the perfect picture for the young youth of today, well, it's just not my ideal way of parenting. I want them to be grown appreciative men that won't need to latch onto their "love of having everything at their fingertips" the perfect childhood, paper perfect boys.' Their love to keep sticking around in their carefree childhood days, versus being and acting as grown men, responsible, able to have a wonderful work ethic, be respectful, care about their families, and not act like immature little teenagers constantly when raising families of their own. (Sure they are entitled to be silly men, to let loose, but not to be like little manchilds).
If children have a perfect childhood, would they ever grow up? If parents would allow their children to understand struggle, inconvenience, discomfort, disappointment, they'll understand the value of adulthood. Plus, they'll respect it.
Welcome To Crustybeef~
I would hope.
Plus then they can sip Pom martini's after doing it themselves, and allowing their son to lay sleeping on the floor after a day of making a poopsicle of a ring of his bedroom sheets, crib, face, legs, socks, Bambers stuffed animal, pillow..
Welcome To Crustybeef~
A good Friday evening to you all!