Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Bathrooms with China

It never fails,... the five of us get to our destination and within minutes you can glance over your right shoulder to see dear old Sullivan doing the pee-pee dance. The "no I don't have to go but my legs have the jiggles and my hand is holding everything in" dance.

Saturday we took our kids to Dairy Queen located in our downtown just across the street from the railroad tracks. There's nothing more fun for them then to get a cone with some soft serve ice cream and then a short walk across the street, up the sidewalk, across the train tracks to sit near the fountains on the benches that give you the best up front sounds and views of the trains that continuously pass through our town.

As Brian was placing the ice cream order to the teenage boy behind the little boxed red framed window, I noticed Sully doing "his thing."

Only this time we had a bit of a problem as the Dairy Queen in our town is an outside only establishment. Needless to say, Sullivan and I go for a short walk near a local investors office what was once a Victorian type home "back in the day." We stroll to the back of this "home" and find a garage, thankfully he relieved himself behind the garage near an old two person fishing boat (SOUL!).

Life was good and empty again for our Sullivan.

After the ice cream was in all of our hands, I with an order for the turtle in a waffle cup with the nut crunch sprinkler thing as well as pecans and extra whip cream, we head to our resting spot on the benches near the water fountains, that are situated immediately north of the tracks.

Sitting on the benches as our boys run back and forth along the open area, I sit back and close my eyes. I just love listening to the cars as they drive by. Our main front street of our downtown is made with cobblestone so it has that nostalgic look and feel to it. The sound of the rumbling bumbling that the car tires make while moving at a nice 15mile an hour speed along the Main shopping street of our little downtown, is for some reason quite soothing to me. (don't ask, I don't know why.)

No sooner had we arrived I noticed Sullivan doing his backdoor dance. Yup, you guessed it, he had to go number 2. Hmmmphfffffffff! The two of us stroll across the cobblestone street and make a beeline for the Starbucks on the corner to thankfully use their indoor bathroom.

Ahhh, in no time at all, Sullivan is feeling much more like himself again, happy and empty with more room to finish his ice cream in a cup. But since we were in the bathroom I figured I might as well go numeral uno myself.

There we are, Sullivan and mom hanging out in the single bathroom within the walls of Starbucks. The smell of coffee beans mixed with flavors wafting throughout the very walls within this bathroom when it happened,...Sullivan's questions:

Image painter first:
I'm sitting on the toilet while Sullivan is gazing off in thoughtful land.

Sullivan: "Mom, can I see urchina?"
Me: "what Sully?"
Sullivan: "Where is yourchina?"
Me: "I don't understand (thinking that he's talking Olympics because we've been watching them on TV) where is China?"
Sullivan: "no, your china, you know, the other Penis thingie?"
Me: "OH, you mean my vagina?" (I call it what it is)
Sullivan: "yes, can I see your China?"


I started to launch into a lecture/conversation regarding privacy matters with my four year old, and how it's not polite to ask women to see their private parts.
Then I stopped.
He's four years old.
I'm not a woman to him, I'm his mom-that's all he knows me as and he can't see beyond that because he is only four. I didn't want to make him feel guilty for asking a question that he doesn't know is considered taboo. He's just an innocent little boy, and if I want him to feel comfortable talking to me later on in life, it starts here. It starts now with how I react to his questions, which by the way in this situation he is only seeking honest knowledge and not looking for vocabulary words to be added to his name calling list.

Yep, that's right people, he's a four year old boy looking for honest knowledge with honest answers from his not a woman mommy.
I need to be honest with him and fair.

Me: "Boys and girls have different parts down there because God didn't want us to be the same. Even spotted leopards have different spots, sizes and in different areas on their fur. Girls have vagina's and boys have penises and it will always be that way forever and ever."

Sullivan: "I know, mommy, you have your china and I get to have my own penis."
Me: "you are absolutely correct Sullivan!!"

Thinking I avoided the "can I view you" question, I finished my task on the toilet and begin to pull up my undies and shorts, when he leans in and tilts his head...

Sullivan: "yep, still nothing there! Your china still isn't growing out yet."
Said as he shrugs his shoulders, raising both hands up in the air with a "well, lemme know when something happens down there" gesture, finishing it up with an "oh well moving on" smack with his hands on both of his upper thighs.


Welcome To Crustybeef~
Why do I have a feeling he's going to hate me for this post someday?
I wonder if he thinks I'm defective., after all they once asked me (they meaning Jack and Sullivan) why I was crouching over a public toilet versus just "doing it the right way and standing up."

I would give anything to crawl around in his four year old brain, at least for an afternoon.
It's amazing what can happen when you go out for ice cream, isn't it?

17 comments:

Susan said...

Too funny! I had a conversation once with my young niece, while her Mom was in the hospital having her sister...she asked me if I had a scar on my belly like her Mom did after having her?

Me, being an honest Auntie, said "No. I had PJ vaginally."

When she wanted to know what that meant...I explained that girls had another hole "down there" that babies come out of.....she just stood there with a look of horror on her face....then very adamantly she said "No we don't!"

I didn't argue with her...I decided she would figure it out on her own some day.

during doctor play

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Susan:
definitely during doc play one day---gotta love the stories of our little ones no matter niece nephew, son, daughter, cousin, neighbor...innocence is golden.

Always,
Ebs

fiwa said...

Oh my god - that is freaking hilarious! Hey, thank your lucky stars you weren't in a restroom with many stalls!

CRUSTYBEEF said...

hmm, very VERY GOOD point FIWA!! That is so true!!!

always,
elizabeth

Kelly Jene said...

This post cracked me up!! Too funny! I must have done something right with my youngest because he tells me anything and everything about himself. He asks questions about why things do things and when things don't feel right. It's funny. Boys are so expressive!

I've missed ya, waterfalls!!

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Kelly: I know exactly what you mean!!!

Hope you're feeling better!!
Waterfalls back to you too!
Elizabeth

Brad said...

It speak well of your mommy skills to have brought up such sincere open and honest boys. Well done you.

I'm still cracking up...

Cheryl said...

Very funny! My daughter never had to go to the bathroom before or while being out. She held it forever, and I finally had to learn to leave her alone. I wonder what she asked her dad concerning his body parts.

austere said...

I was laughing too hard when I first read it yesterday.
Your littlest one is growing up, Crusty.

Thinking back on how did I ever learn. grin.

bonnie said...

This is a wonderful story, but I agree, you may want to deny you ever wrote it when he gets a little older. Why did he pee in a garage? I thought boys could just pee on a bush, or a car tire. You are a wonderful mom to have such clear objectivity and not get confused with "morality."

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Brad: let's chat and follow that comment up when they're in highschool--because lately my hair is falling out just from the chaos in here.. i'm losing control. :)

always,
ebs

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Cheryl; wow, that's remarkable!! I know even I have a tendency to have to go when I'm out...I'm sure she must have said something to her dad--but I can guess that if you brought it up now she would cringe and run to another room with a look of "mom, really? Why embarass me?" :)
I'm scared for my boys to become teenagers--

always,
ebs

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Austie: Thankfully I still have Ben to teach the lessons of proper potty training.. I think that Sullivan just has his own type of way about him and is a very soft but can be so cranky/moody little middle...they all are growing up fast. :(
too fast. At least I still have Ben..

always,
ebs

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Bonnie: HAHA! I must not have written it right, Sullivan pee'd behind a garage near rocks and an old boat and a few garbage cans--I didn't want him peeing in the wide open--even though I know they can't get in trouble, I still always feel like they could...

Yes, he will hate me some day for this---but if this is the reason why, it'll be easy for him to get over..:)
hopefully they're learning morals as well--it's so hard being a parent.

Always,
Elizabeth

Portia said...

He is TOO funny! I've gone through similar questions with Jacob. I love the shrug, "well, lemme know" gesture, and "moving on" smack of the thighs- I can just see it!
And I'd love to get in their little brains too. They are smart as can be, even before they know all about this crazy world.
As you said, it's almost FRIDAY!!
:) Have a great restotheweek:)

Tink said...

LOL! Thank you. That gave me my first laugh today. You and your china rock.

simonsays said...

Now THIS was a funny post. And one I needed to read, so I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the laugh you provided this morning, it was a laugh I badly needed.

Hugs honey.

:)