Sunday, September 14, 2008

How Much Rain Can A Bucket Hold?

When is it enough?
When do you say to someone that you have continued to help time and time again, that you're not going to help them anymore?
That you're through with it.
No More!

There was another post written last night by my emotions, that were a tad more raw then after a night of "sleeping on it." That post has been removed, but for my own personal written therapy, I have not deleted it.

When do you stop helping someone after they time and time again hurt you?
More importantly, after they hurt people in your life?
Continuously hurting my loved ones.

But for them, they continue to carry or display on their shoulder what would be viewed as a big boulder of being owed, or perhaps a feeling of entitlement.

There are people in my life that love unconditionally and although not perfect, are always there when chips are down.

When is it time?
When do you let it all out and walk away?
Just dump it and move away from the eyesore in the middle of the room.

When should they?
When do they spill the bucket of rain drops?
Spill it and walk away without mopping it up this time.
Should one spill it?

When is it time?
Do they wait until it's overflowed?
Or do you build a bigger Bucket to hold more of this painful rain.

Emotional rain that continues to impact people in my life.
In a way that is painful for me to witness as someone with young ones myself.
How Much Rain Can A Bucket Hold?


Martha said...

I think all of our buckets hold different amounts. For me, I'm pretty good at taking whatever people throw my way. So is my husband. But since becoming parents, and recognizing that 2 certain people in our lives were doing damage to our daughter by doing damage to us, we decided enough was enough. It was hard at first to not go running in to "rescue" those people, to cave into their demands, but it got easier over time, because the less we did "for" them, the more we realized we were doing them a disservice in years past. I hope that makes sense. I think what I really mean to say is let it go, let the person go, before you actually reach your limit.

Anonymous said...

yes...sometimes people think they are "helping", but really just enabling bad actions of others. True helping could just be letting go.

love you,


martha: it makes perfectly good sense!!Thank you!



DernaNon: I like your last sentence, "true helping could just be letting go."
"i want one."
Pierce. :)

Love you too!
Had a fun time!


JLee said...

Wow, I can relate to this post in a big way! I think we all have our personal breaking point of "enough" when we have to rid ourselves of certain people, as painful as it might be.

Kelly Jene said...

My Crusty sister of waterfalls...

As has been said.. since becoming a mother, I've learned that I can only take the rain until it has affected me to the point of affecting my children. I can't let my children think it's ok to be used and used and abused.

Our children and our family comes first. Always remember that.

I love you. Truly. I pray the rain drys and the sun comes out.


JLee; Good point, although one that I've had about 3% of success in following. THis time it's an outside view watching others around me affected much more then I am right now---it's painful to see...but there are points like Derna said-you just have to stop enabling even if we think it's helping..

Glad you guys are okay from IKE.
We dealt with Ike in the form of flooding this weekend.


Kelly: You are a good friend, and have always known the right things to say---
It's very different now that we're mommies---for me it has given me a chance to grow thicker skin to protect my little birds..

but in this circumstance like I said to JLEE, watching people that I love being hurt by this makes me wish I would be the one dealing with this disappointment versus having to watch them deal with it--
that's the hard part--seeing it hurt those that have helped time and time again.


talk to you later sistahsistah. :)

Gypsy said...

Sometimes we have to display tough love to help the people in our lives that don't seem to be able to do it for themselves. It's a very difficult thing to do and will hurt like crazy but there are times when you've reached the end of the road that it's the only way left to go.

Diane Vogel Ferri said...

I don't think there's a right answer to that - but we've all been there and it sounds like you're ready.

Diane Vogel Ferri said...

I don't think there's a right answer to that - but we've all been there and it sounds like you're ready.

abbagirl74 said...

My bucket holds just enough for right now. But I know that at any moment, it can spill over.

jAMiE said...

I can relate to this post..experiencing this with my nephew..and his mom (my sister)...hard to know when to say 'when'...i think we know when to, but it's so's such a personal thing, isn't it.

simonsays said...

No answer for such a question - although just like my grandpa used to tell me - when you've had enough, you'll know it.

Hugs honey.


Brad said...

It's a fine line to walk between cutting some one out of your life and putting up protective barriers. But like Jamie said, you'll know when your there.

Check your e-mail dear.

Susan said...

CB -

I believe you already know the answer and, as is human, don't want to take the next step of doing.

Haven't you had enough rain?


Cheryl said...

You'll know the right thing to do, but it's complicated, I know. I'm sorry you're dealing with it. If it involves family, it's that much harder.


when it involved family, tough love is tough to show, but enabling over and over again only makes it worse...thankfully it isn't a little one of mine, although some day it could very well be---thank you Gypsy, Diane, Abba (HOW WAS YOUR SURGERY??),JamieCS, Brad,Susan, and Cheryl---

All your words are extremely encouraging!!