Wednesday, November 12, 2008

MAKE SOMEONE FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE

Because Facebook says so, along with roughly 60,ooo people, this Friday is the First Annual Make Someone Feel Uncomfortable Day. My Aunt was awesome enough to inform me of this upcoming day. The information that I discovered as I read the link that my Aunt provided, was full of laughter! This woman sure made some excellent points, and whereas I don't know her, I'm sure someone knows her from the forwards of emails that pertain to the Uncomfortable Day. I suggest you pop over there and read it. Besides, she's pretty funny! I like the way she thinks!

One of my favorite tips that she wrote to do a proper job of making someone uncomfortable was the one about the elevator and the Fart. I would do that, but I would also suggest to you if you want to drum it down a bit, to just stand facing someone in an elevator with your back up against the door.

Then my mind begins to run and this image rolls through my brain as another option to be successful on this upcoming event day. Apply brown marker to the tip of toilet paper, and attach a nice long role from your shoe. It may not make someone feel uncomfortable, and you could get a nice chuckle, but I bet if you pulled this trick at the Library, big difference.

I have more, but right now I am in a tunnel focus of a few things. All is good, and there is happiness in my circle of friends, aggravation in my circle of friends, a balance of positive energy from everyone in my immediate family, and luckily for me, my extended family. Some of us don't have that option unfortunately.

Ha! There's an uncomfortable, bring all the drama that you may experience, or any negative emotion, and just throw it all out there to whomever the issues embrace. It could work if you are having a fight with another fellow family member, just show up at their door, and stare at them, wait for them to speak. Imagine if that happened!

So I my aura of social/family balance seems well! My son, Jackson is turning 7 this Friday. He was actually due on my Grandma H's birthday. She would have been 79 this year. 72 years older then my Jackson, I think she would have enjoyed him. Same sign and all, and she was into that a bit, I think. Oddly enough, they first told me that November the 7Th was my due date, and then the growth spurt slowed and then determined it was the 11Th of November, more towards the third trimester they discovered this. Then they said he was transverse. My first child, my first unknown, and now a possible c-section? At that time, at each second of that time, of that experience, I felt like it was the most intense, dramatic, painful, introverted, unconditional, exciting, positive, and many more adjectives, experience that I had ever had at that point.
Naturally change happens, and you look back and see growth. At the time it seemed so frenetic, so tough, but thinking back, I remember how peaceful of a time it was for me on occasion. Sure I had the pregnancy moments of weeping, of laying on my carpeted one bedroom one and a half bath den apartment situated on the 2ND floor, looking into a court yard. Barrington Lakes, the place my best-est friends and I lived, and then I made the venture to get my own place and see how I managed that, and then for Valentines Day, Brian and I earned the right to prepare someone special for the rest of his adult life.

I don't know how he'll turn out, I won't see the change that's happened, more the emotional growth until after the change we're looking for, waiting for, passes us. That's how you see change, when it's gone beyond the now, and the emotions are no longer intense, or heightened, in any which way. It's neutral ground until you recognize how fast change has happened.

Here we are now, and then November 14Th it was 7 years ago that my life changed forever.
Period. No one told me that nursing would hurt like hell. That you should probably start tweaking your nipples ahead of labor, twisting them and turning them, tugging on them, to prepare them for the gift giving trauma that will bond you and your newborn. Any closeness does really. A friend of mine told me that she always placed her children's head and ears near her voice box. So they would feel the vibrations of the sounds that mommy was making to them. That's what they are to your new child. Just sounds. I learned quickly that a babies cry is a sound. It wasn't a sad I HATE YOU cry that we women experience, it's an imitation of the sounds that they're hearing with very sensitive and under developed hearing. Which is why it's good to teach them early the sounds by vibration of the words that they'll someday speak to you. It's like sign language in a way. Plus, the connection is beautiful.

So back to my Jackson, pretty much if you've just read the past paragraphs, all the words I've written have represented emotions of the past 7 years. The growth, the change, the bond, the unknown, the frustrating.

The late nights were tough, but our bodies are preparing us to experience this by the middle of the night leg cramps, the trips to the potty, the tossing and turning and not sleeping soundly. These are all purposeful methods to train the body for the rite of passage into motherhood upon discharge or when your family returns home.

At the time I thought pregnancy was so crazy, and painful, and sure, yes, it definitely was. But now, this is a different type of crazy. It's watching the growth change of your child, that's crazy! It's watching your child no longer want you to walk you to the classroom door. Independence, everything that you ever were, is developing through your child's steps. The good stuff, the bad stuff, the half stuff from your significant other, their good and bad. If you know your child's father's personality, imagine how it will be when your child picks up different colors of each of your personalities.

My Jackson was born, just like last year's post, on November the 14Th-two wrong dates beyond from my gyne. That's typical as our marriage certificate shows that we were married one DAY later then we really were. We were married on my best-est of friend's birthday, a Friday night, the 25Th of April, and our marriage certificate shows the 26th. Never mind the year, the point is, we're used to backwards or irregular patterns of time. Hell, even Pam is jacked up with her time.
Whoops, I was hoping not to use my son's name in negative vain on his birthday post.

So the point is, I've been focused on his birthday. Every birthday we allow him to pick what he wants to eat for his birthday dinner, and whatever desert he'd like to help glitter his secret dreams and wishes after the poofs of the candles. So, he picked Red Lobster and yellow cake with brownies for his classroom.

I'm making him a Lego cake. It's a simple 7 year, now that he's older I'm not doing the big family parties, not necessary. He's into growing his social friendships, and ultimately it will be those peers that help him make his way through his teenage years, because let's face it, most teenagers do doubt their parents at least with some things if not everything. Most likely they'll experience the same thing with their own children some day, it always comes around. So we gave him a small number and he chose from that who he'd like to have over for his "peers party." A group of young 6-7 year old puppies having a Lego party on the 22ND of November.

I'll be making a Lego cake for that birthday too. We will have baking trays covered with miscellaneous Lego's that the children will be able to create something with. We will play Lego bingo homemade, and guess the Lego pieces in a jar drawing. They'll be here from 2:00-4:30, Long enough, and hopefully no melt downs. I'd get into details but there are a couple of invitee parents floating around here all anon on the Crusty beef blog, so I must zip my lip.

That is why I've been hiding and not hanging out saying hi in everyone in your blog comment boxes. I'm sorry, but trust me, I'm thinking of you and I'll catch up, I always do!

I just wanted to say how proud I am of Jackson. He's sensitive, he shows remorse if he's done something wrong in school, like talking during lunch hour and getting sent to "THE WALL."
He can walk away from a group of peers when he's had enough. He may not facilitate activities with his peers, but he can walk away from his peers. I'm happy with that.

His handwriting is working towards meeting grade level, but I'm not worried, he's a boy, he's in first grade, that's a huge transition, children, hell, babies, even adults and naturally teenagers, have to take two steps backwards to go one step forward.

To be able to see the change that you've experienced, to look back and see the timeline to the present of all that you've learned.

None of this was told to me when he was growing all safe and warm in my belly. When I was anxious for the unknown, not sure what it'll be like, and finally after being given the gift of a newborn, here I am now, in the present, watching him walk away from me a block from where he walks into school, because he wants to walk alone. I'm watching him walk into his unknown, and I can't believe how fast the time's gone. He's a darling boy and I couldn't be more proud of my Jackson.

Happy Birthday!
I promise to you that I'll let your significant other know the honest truth about raising children, if they'll be interested in learning about it. All you have to do is start the conversation and tell me you want to learn. I know you won't always like me in the future, I know I do things now that most likely annoy the crap out of you, and you sit there wondering why I'm such a freak. You don't understand how I can possibly tune out conversations and become repetitive with my words as all three of you ask a lot of questions!! But I ask questions, I still do. When you become a parent, you'll understand how it's possible to tune out your children, and you can blame it on picking up the trait from me.

I think you're amazing!
Again, Happy Birthday my 7 year old!
I have a feeling you're going to have a great year!

Love MOM-E
(and no matter what, I'll always be a Mommy-because I will allow you to call me by my first
intital of my name, so long as you insert a mom in front of it.)
Until then, MAKE SOMEONE FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE ON THE DAY OF MY SON'S BIRTH. TALK ABOUT CHILDBIRTH!
There another one.

Welcome to Crustybeef~
Love,
Mom-
E

8 comments:

Kelly Jene said...

Talking about pads, tampons, and what happens to them is always a good discomfort-maker. :)

Love you and Happy Birthday to Jackson!!!!!!! What a lovely tribute.

Big hugs rainbow maker!

austere said...

Happy birthday.
AND YES...
I want to come to the pardy too..
pls pls..

:))

Brad said...

Happy Birthday Jackson!

I hope you have an great time.

Give your Mom a hug and kiss becuase you have an awesome Mom!

Mrs Furious said...

"It could work if you are having a fight with another fellow family member, just show up at their door, and stare at them, wait for them to speak. Imagine if that happened!
"
Oh God I thought that was hilarious. I've got some people in mind for this!

And I really liked your birthday tribute... full of the very real complexities of mothering.

Cheryl said...

Happy Birthday Jackson!!!!

Happy Birth Day Elizabeth!!!!

Portia said...

Wow, what a big day!
Happy Birthday Jackson!
And Happy first annual Make Someone Feel Uncomfortable Day Crusty! lol
And all on a Friday too, so while I'm at it, Happy Weekend:)

p.s.if i hadn't been allowed to talk during lunch hour i probably would have lived at THE WALL :\

Palm Springs Savant said...

I'll chime in with my Happy Borthday greetings as well!

simonsays said...

I loved this post. You are an amazing mom and I have no doubt, he is an amazing son. You are so right about so many things here. Hang on to each precious moment E, it goes so fast.

Hugs to you. :)