Sunday, May 24, 2009

Colarma



It's spelled Murtaugh. Yeah, that's me.


Serves me right. I am the first to follow karma and believe that things make their way back around. So when I stole that magazine from Ben's doctor's office, I should have known.

Should have seen it coming.

I got it back and I got it good. I got it in the form of falling really ill, needing an ambulance to carry my sick self to the hospital where my surgeon/gyne doc met me this afternoon. I was in a great deal of pain and was at the threshold of passing out.

Have any of you seen the Lethal Weapon flicks? Well, my new nickname is Mertog because I had to be rescued off the toilet seat in my bathroom. I'm serious. Bad pain, bad poops, bad fever, hello Mertog.

After arriving at the hospital and undergoing many tests they determined that I have colitis. They don't know what form it is in, but something about the sigmond, or is it sigmoid? It's all jacked up and stuck up around the cavity near my left rib. Oh by the pressures and pain! I will never complain about grease from fast food again as this particular drama has given me a new acceptance on my old versions of poop.

Needless to say I have a swollen colon and it's angry at me. Luckily it wasn't something from surgery, but this just means more rounds of tests. They've admitted me and have me under Iv and dope therapy. I hope to go home tomorrow (Monday-today), we're not sure if the gastroentrologist will be able to see me tomorrow due to it being a holiday here, but no matter, because of how severe it was, I had to stay.

Ever have to give a stool sample? Yeah, see? Karma.
Or should I say, Colonarma? Or just Colarma?

It's about 1:15 in the morning, I can't sleep, I can't handle the Demerol that they gave me a few hours ago and I've already paid a few painful visits to my bathroom commode. Thankfully they were able to get my pressures under control and I although I am still sick to my stomach and get real dizzy with vital fluctuations, I am in good hands. Good stools.

Colitis. Unfreakinbelievable. The next person to say, "what else can go wrong with you," please refrain from doing so.

Be Well.

7 comments:

Kathy said...

Oy.

Diane Vogel Ferri said...

Love and prayers your way...

CRUSTYBEEF said...

kathy: yes, oye it is. oye colorabma

Diane: thank you...enema's aren't my best friend

Golden To Silver Val said...

Sending more prayers and GOOD Karma your way. You'll be right as rain in a few and back home doing your thing. Count on it! Big hugs and much love.

Martha said...

Slap the doctor with the stolen magazine. Won't do much for your pain or misery, but I think the look on the doc's face would be worth the $200. I hope things settle down and you're able to get the rest you need to recover.

TAG said...

keeping a good thought for you Crusty.

I know a few people with colitis. While not pleasant, you can get it under control and live a good life.

TAG

austere said...

Oh.
This is too much.
Ok ok thinking positive thoughts...
Awful this is.

Take care.