Sunday, May 17, 2009

PreSexing Or PreSexebrations

Or Presex.
Or Precelebration sex.
Whatever the order, however you decide you want to call it, it's a trend that's spreading through the consummation bush like hot sexy fire.

How does it work? You mean the act itself? Because I can't help you on that. We all do it, our own way, and if you are up for it, or want it, well, you do it to your liking. I'm not going to role play with you and get all health coach, and give you a play by play on the act itself.

Now if what you meant to say was, what does Pre-Sexing mean? Well, I'll get to that shortly.

Do you qualify? Depends on a few things; age, status, and whether you even want to do it or not, forget about whether or not you even can (ie; 6week rule post vaginal delivery, 8week post csection delivery).

It's actually a plain and simple explanation.

On special occasions, there's that "hidden whispered promise," that you're going to get a lil something, or give a lil something post celebration. Typically these are categorized under the birthdays, anniversaries, and for some even, Mothers and father's day events. You know, big occasions. When you're going out to dinner to celebrate your wedding anniversary, sex is "expected." Not expected from a stand point of "the male expects it because it's a special occasion," more so the occasion itself, expects it to occur.

So before some of you get all, "but, I LOVE having sex, and it's not a chore," or, "it's never an expectation in our home," or, "you don't need to have an occasion to have sex," hear me out because that's not what I mean here.

Simply put, (yeah with me, nothing is simple), I'm just explaining to you what it means when you, Pre-Sex.

So going into this with an open mind, regardless of your sexual habits, paint this picture in your head; it's your anniversary so most likely there will be sex. Whether you're excited about it, or view it as a chore, the % is high for sexual chocolate. Why? Because the occasion requires it. To avoid the pitfalls of, " hunny I am so sorry, the wine made me fall asleep, I am so so sorry I passed out on you, after 10 years of marriage and just like our wedding night, I passed out on you again," simply have sex pre the celebration.

Pre-sex. Pre-celebration. Pre-Sexebration.

Have the sex before you get in the shower to primp yourself up for the occasion. Have sex before you get dressed.
Just have sex before the start of your birthday outing, anniversary party, or whatever the special occasion may be. That way should you fall asleep on your love of 20 years, the sex that usually comes post if you don't fall asleep, isn't missed out on that much, because. you. had. it. Pre.

Note, Pre-sexing does NOT give you the excuse NOT to have Post celebration Sex later on. So quit thinking, "SWEET! My job is done.." Rather, it's an act that will help prevent the next morning, "Oh gosh, I wanted to have sex and was so tired, and now missed the special occasion sex boat, because I fell asleep," conversation.

It's a growing trend among moms of today.

Just so you know after I wrote this post, I decided to see what was out there on Pre-Sexing, so I googled it. The first thing that showed up was an article on male and female pot seeds. So if you happened upon this site because you're a stoner and were looking for "how to's on MaryJloos," I'm sorry, you've come to the wrong place.

Here, in my world, Pre-Sexing is just sex before the special event happens.
Where it doesn't give you an "out" for the occasion, but rather gives you the 'in'side advantage on the celebration. A way to one up the sex status of the event itself.

Then, if my awesome husband is lucky, and I'm not too worn out from the day, and I don't fall asleep, Post occasion sex can get itself on. Get it now?


austere said...

You sure are one terribly funny woman, Crusty beef.

Ahem.Nice idea, scheduling.

JLee said...

Great Concept! It could be the wave of the future :)

Anonymous said...

We totally do this!! :) Especially when we are going to the Melting Pot for the special occasion...we're both to full for booty when we get home. Dznutz :0)

Tink said...

Hoop and I do this too! It's so much easier to make sex part of the getting-ready process. I don't mean to make it sound like a chore (it's not). But it does take a lot of pressure off the night. :)