I haven't had a chance to go see Jimmy today because I've been basically bedridden with another episode of what remains in my colon as colitis. At least now for sure I know it wasn't Cdiff, because if it was Cdiff, the antibiotics would have made the bathroom visits that make the bowl all bubbly and frothy cease. The only thing the antibiotic did for me is do what it does with bread.
So, today I've been bathroom, bed, bathroom, bed. I'm sticking to my strict diet. Not drinking milk. Lactose free. I haven't had coffee or coke or anything since the Saturday after my surgery. I'm not eating fiber, which means no fruit or veggies. I'm staying clear of liquor, and I'm getting cranky. But I'm too afraid to have something that could cause the colon to get really ticked off at me, so I'm sticking too it, not losing weight because of it, but sticking with the game plan.
Today was H E double toothpicks. Oh my gosh. For awhile there I thought, "well, we're going back to the hospital." That's the last thing I need right now. I can't do that to myself, Brian, Brian's job, the kids, my parents, my friends, no one. It's enough. Not to mention the cost of the medical bill from just being in the hospital. Four days = $20,000. YIKES!
So I've been bottle water, bathroom, froth, dia-haahaa, bed, Gatorade, bathroom, froth, dia-haahaa, bed...it's soo frustrating. Things seem more settled so I'm hoping the episode has past. But it is exhausting. I get tired, and crampy, and sweaty, and feverish, and weak, and faint and I am amazed at how much the colon impacts the rest of the body.
It could be worse. I could be going in for a STOMA (a bag to help collect the poop when you have portions or all of your colon removed). I'm just dealing with episodes. I don't have colon cancer. Sure there is a bigger risk of someone that has colitis, distal colitis to get colon cancer, but the risk is greater for me falling and breaking my hip. So I'm not concerned. I'll need more frequent colonoscopies, but even that I'm willing to deal with. Its all part of aging.
Plus, what has happened with my brother Jimmy, has put everything else into perspective. I'll take what I am given. I'll complain about it, but you'll see a much quicker recovery from that complaint. People may not always want to be a part of my life, but as long as I know I tried, that's all you can really expect. I can't expect people to give me what I want. I can only expect to give what I feel I want to give, without wondering how it's sent back.
Time to head back upstairs, I am wiped out. But I do (I almost just decided to type BUTT) want to say I'm sorry for always venting about my poops or periods. That must get annoying. Plus I haven't been around lately or even doing a lot of lurking, so I'm sorry. I'll be back to the crusty lurker before long.