Saturday, June 20, 2009


I love to get MLS listings. I mean I LOVE LOVE LOVE to get MLS listings. Especially when it's homes that pop up in my neighborhood. It's like how I love Halloween because you get the chance to peek into the homes you walk past or drive past all year but don't know squat about the person. It's a quick glimpse into analyzing someones personality. Because I am one of those. I look into the personality and over think the reason for their motions.

So, MLS listings. FUN! Even more exciting then Halloween! I love the ones that have been "properly arranged" to have a showing. Maybe because just the thought of rearranging a piece of furniture (PLURAL!) gets my head and entire body in a full on tingling oh so exciting Sally in the deli orgasmic "OH OH OH" emotion. Not sure why that is. It's not that I crave change, it's more that I embrace it and enjoy it. I am content in my Cheese Station, but I have no problems moving around the different types of cheese that hang out in my special station called home. So whenever I gaze upon the virtual images of someones home that has clearly been arranged by a professional, I get all silly and warm and fuzzy.

You know what I'm talking about, right? When you see a home that has the biggest vase ever with the freshest looking faux orchids or birds of paradise sitting on the bistro table that is now situated off to the side of the stone fireplace. Or when you see the room arranged on an angle, pieces of furniture brought together to form a circle so the focal point of the room, the point where your eyes are drawn to, is the warmth of imagining conversation within that very room.

You can tell the homes that haven't had the setting. The ones where there are family photos all over the house. Kids toys spilling out from underneath the bed, and a dog bowl near the kitchen stove.

I prefer to gaze at the listings of the homes that have been simplified. Cleaned up. No Wooden spoons and utensils sitting in an old aluminum animal cracker tin. Just a beautiful crystal bowl of green and red apples.
I stumbled across one the other day in email that well, I'll let you be the judge of it. It's located a block west of me, about 7 houses south. Situated on a nice lot but facing a rather busy street.

Realtors are smart, they know that setting, or positioning of the furniture and how you express the homes personality, is an important aspect as to how you market and sell the house. Each realtor has a different gift. They all have different marketing techniques on how to market your home. What technique did this particular realtor use to market the home that's for sale a block west of my home?:

Nice beautiful straight mowed lawn. Private looking entrance way. Deep lot.

Imagine sitting inside the picture window, the back part of the house facing east, the sun rising and you can sit inside overlooking the nice backyard, the birds playfully flying around the back yard trees....ahhhh...I love the back part of this house! Not a big fan of the IVY on the house, nor the television ears on the roof of the home-that to me displays an old school home dweller. which means pink wallpaper in the bathroom. I could be wrong, lets take a walk inside the home, shall we?

Um, I think this is the wrapping paper room. Is that a green Bong on the desk? Yep, wall paper.

HOLY SHIT! This is like a scene out of ISPY or Where's Waldo!
I SPY an ironing board, miracle grow plant food bottle, an angel food cake in it's white container, and a cardinal in the window.

Yep, pink walls and water damage.
Seriously? I'm not at all making fun of the person in the home, as I don't know their circumstances. What I am making fun of is the dumb-ass realtor for even marketing this home this way. Unless of course she's trying to market to the types that have the urge to go in and fix things. Seriously? If I were her boss I'd have a serious chat with her about how to market a listing. When I saw these pictures I have been itching to call up the realtor and offer my services of positioning and rearranging.

Seriously, for those of you that have a marketing background, organizational background or Realtors, what sort of technique is this?

Next post will be a picture of someone that my friend saw on Sunset beach Florida. The place that we will be spending the weekend when we first get into Florida at the end of July.


Melanie said...

Holy crap.......thanks for posting. Now I don't think my house is too messy and I don't have to waste the weekend cleaning!! LOL

Unreal that someone would actually put that out there like that.

... Paige said...

Um, did the person that lived there die? Cause I would so hate, I mean HATE to have to pack that crap.
I wonder if the person(s) are/were horders?
Love the stove ready to ignite the room any second

Dear Liza said...

That place is atrocious---(sp?)---and there is no good reason for the realtor to plaster those photos out there - for a buyer? Good heavens....

Yes, you should call and offer your services.

How are you feeling?

Happy Monday friend. :)

happyone said...

Oh my goodness!!! I can't believe they would post such pictures to sell a house!!!!

Anonymous said...

These kind of homes make me feel clean! The poor realtor, you can't MAKE people clean!!
D :0)

Diane Vogel Ferri said...

I agree -- that reator must be coo-coo for coco puffs.

Palm Springs Savant said...

that is insane! Who in their right mind would think that is even CLOSE to being ready to be listed? Yikes. Its a junk collectors delight.