Saturday, July 18, 2009

Timing Isn't on my side right now

I get sick and end up in the hospital for four days.
My brother is in that awful car accident and almost is killed.
I cancel my summer school sessions pertaining to my future career as a nurse because of the recent events.
I get sick again and end up in the hospital again.
Then the medical bills start coming in.
Our insurance plan recently changed so a brand new deductible. Or rather a higher deductible to try and obtain.
Economy is bad.
People aren't working on projects.
Which means people aren't hiring.
Which impacts this one income family.
Trying to get answers for my medical aliments.
Worried about our financial situation which adds so much more stress to my poor husband.
He's the one carrying us.
I only work once a week.
More medical tests.
More bills.
Credit is used.

Then a knock on our door.
A 30 year marriage is crumbled because the husband is having an emotional affair.
How does this impact me?
This man is the husband of our landlord.
This man is demanding that he move into a home that he equally owns with his wife.
That home so happens to be our home.

Naturally this occurs after all the bills and fiances that have taken us for a serious twirl. Life has become hard.
So, we have 30days to find a new place.
Meanwhile I am not well.
Brian is stressed above and beyond: worried about me, worried about supporting us, worried about the economy, worried about how to improve his financial ability to assist his family more.
Now because some jagdouche couldn't keep his dick in his pants and his heart inside his chambers, we have to move.

Naturally this is right before school is due to start for both the boys and I.
Naturally, there aren't any homes available within the school that Jackson (and Sullivan) will be attending.

Life has become very hard.
It could be worse, I know.
But right now it's too much to handle.
I'm sick of how cruel money can be when health falters money is what motivates the bills to go away. But when money isn't the same, when it decreases due to the economy, the bills don't stop. Take the credit card companies, they're raising their rates to offset the plan that Obama has put in place that will take effect in February.

What we need is a lottery ticket right now.
To donate and share and be humble to have a simple content peaceful home.
Not run by greed, rather by the heartbreak that I may have to pull my sons from the school they love. By the fact that I have to leave a neighborhood with so many friends that I have grown to love.
All I've been doing is crying. I don't want to leave my Lyla. She was my rock throughout all the hospital stays, Jimmy's car accident, she helped out so much with my kids. Her husband a dear friend to Brian. To move means things do change. You can't walk around the block and sit outside until 3am drinking wine or martinis or beer playing bags.

Right now I am very overwhelmed.
It's too much.
If only this landlord would have cheated on his wife last year, we'd have been okay.
But right now because of how everything is everywhere, we are not okay and now we have to figure out how to move on a thinly sliced piece of bread. This bread isn't a loaf. All we have is a slice.

Because like a dumb ass we used it all for school. So we wouldn't have student loans. All to better our future, me as a nurse. I told Brian, I'll drop the classes and pull out. He refuses to allow me to do that. He's right with that. He says, school tomorrow will better the both of us in tomorrows future.

But it's the right now that I'm so scared about.
I don't know how.
But I will keep on keeping on.
Even with tears in my eyes and frequent trips to go poop in the toilet.


austere said...

This is too much.
I'm sorry.

Golden To Silver Val said...

Oh Elizabeth, I'm so very sorry for everything you're going through. It's just way too much all at once. Have you considered taking advantage of buying a foreclosed home. There is a Federal Gov't plan to help buyers get into such a home and the requirements are minimum. Maybe better than renting again? Keep the faith...all this will make you, your marriage AND your faith stronger. they say, 'this too shall pass'. Big warm hugs, honey...I will remember you in my prayers. Love, Val

Martha said...

What a mess for you and your family. It's unfortunate and frustrating, and just completely unfair that you have to up and move because of someone else's boneheaded mistake. I hope that luck and Fate are on your side as you frantically prepare to take on this big change. And I hope you start feeling better too!

Dawn said...

Wow. I don't even know what to say to that other than I am so sorry. Best of luck with everything. In the meantime, I'm thinking about you.

happyone said...

Oh wow, just don't know what to say. So sorry. Will keep on praying. There must be something super good down the road waiting for you!

Martha said...

My husband just told me he bought a lottery ticket--and he says that if we win the mega millions, he (WE!) will buy you and your family a house. He knows what it's like to be out of work and have a sick wife and he just keeps thinking that if we had some sort of financial windfall, the best thing to do is be humble and share.

Cheryl said...

What a difference a few weeks make. In the blink of an eye so much can change, as you, better than most, already know. I hope somewhere there's a sliver lining it all of this. I'm so sorry.

Diane Vogel Ferri said...

elizabeth - you are in my heart and prayers. It will work out. I know it will.