Thursday, September 03, 2009

Dear Kraft, about your Macaroni and Cheese,..

I've never been able to be one of those ambitious parents that are dedicated to serving their kids meals that are always healthy, close to organic, nothing bad, nothing sweet, nothing that would prestart their potbellies for the future. Not that I haven't tried though. I've always admired moms (and dads-not to screw you over!,) that can maintain that amazing level of food nutrition for their family.

Just like I admire moms that use cloth diapers. Me? Not in a million years. Not because I don't want to, or because I disagree with the benefit of using cloth diapers, because I totally agree and see why cloth diapers are by far the better way to go. It's because I'm not patient enough, nor consistent enough as a mommy. Naturally I'm lacking one of the key traits you need, when it comes to parenting-consistency!! Nope, not me, I need the quick and easy route.

Like I said, it's a serious flaw of mine. It's frustrating, because I want to be like those other moms, but I'm 7live years and 9months into this parenting job, and as many times as I have attempted to climb aboard the wagon that I see as far more beneficial (like when I attempted to make my own baby food, as an example), the wagon ride ends as soon as it starts because somehow the wagon will wheel past a Mcdonalds just beyond the corn stalks. Yep, drop me off please!

So why the beef with the wonderful creator of Kraft? It's not because I don't like Macaroni and Cheese, because I ADORE it! My love for Macaroni and Cheese goes back further then the conception of my first son. My Love for it, especially after a night out with many cocktails. It's that crazy haze of the 3:30am I NEED TO EAT!!, but I spent all my money at the bar, so we can't stop at STEAK AND SHAKE Tonight. We'd dine on Mac and Cheese and let me tell you, it would prove to be an excellent way to pass out your evening.

Then they added the character Macaroni and Cheese products. Like Spiderman and Spongebob and Scooby doo. The first time I tried the newly introduced Scooby Doos, I forever knew that the texture and size of the noodles, mixed in with the perfectly applied butter, milk and cheese was the best version of mac and cheese that I'd ever tasted. Mix that all together and it equals warmth, comfort food and at times, "al dente." Or, as my girlfriends would say, "OH MY GAWD, BEEF, THE NOODLES ARE STILL CRUNCHY!" After many different dinners of the textured characters, it became clear to me that it would be challenging to return to the tiny tubes of what used to be my favorite-the "original version."

It was wonderful. Life was good. I could eat an entire box of those "Velmas" every.single.time. The way it held in the warmth, I tell you, it put the original version to shame. It wasn't until I had kids, that I realized that this wonderful product had a serious flaw:


It's too small! I can't make one box for three young boys, because it just isn't big enough. There is never enough for the three of them. They get a small serving in their little bowls. I have to make two boxes, because one box is just too little to fill their bellies. Naturally, like their mother, they favor the bigger SPONGE BOB noodles over the grandfather tubes of yesterday.

But in this economy, I would like to think that by now, KRAFT would have done something about this. I've often pictured turning on the TV and seeing a commercial of the CEO of Kraft pitching the Mac and Cheese, similar to the mother marketed commercial in that great 80's movie, MR. MOM:

Dear Kraft, you need to be operating on the same page like Schooner tuna: "My fellow Americans. I am Howard Humphrey, President of Schooner Tuna. All of us here at Schooner Tuna sympathize will all of you hit so hard by these trying economic times. In order to help you we are reducing the price of Schooner Tuna by 50 cents a can. When this crisis is over, we will go back to our regular prices. Until then, remember, we’re all in this together. Schooner Tuna. The tuna with a heart."

Just so you know, I'm not here to complain about the pricing. Although as the one that does the majority of the shopping, yes, it would be nice to see a drop in the pricing of the character cheese macs. But no, that's not what this post is all about. What it's about is that we need more noodles in those Character Boxes, please!

All you have to do is make a family size version of SPONGE BOB Mac and Cheese, for crying out loud. Make the product sufficient enough to where it will feed a family of five (with enough for seconds)! Create a "fun family" chart on each box that shows the sitting amount based on the size of the bowls that you serve the Mac in, along with how many people are eating at that time.

Starbucks can have Tall, Grande, and Venti, why in noodlesake can't Kraft Mac and Cheese ala SpongeBob, have the same thing? I can't continue to buy extra boxes to serve in just one sitting. It's not my fault I have a family of three young boys. It's not my fault you haven't seen the opportunity for improvement. Although it does surprise me because I always felt that Kraft catered to the family crowd. The general image of your line says, family. I have to say, you're missing the cheese on this one. It's getting to the point where I may have to replace the character purchases, with the Triple cheese Shell versions of the Mac and Cheese.

Please Kraft, Please don't make me do this. Please think about who you're trying to market to when it comes to these character meals. Who? Kids! Well, typically kids, and your happily buzzed 20something year olds, but still, think about it. When you think kids, especially when it's boys, you need to think big. Boys travel in packs. Boys eat a lot. Kraft needs to think the way a mother thinks, and make these delicious favorites of many, in bigger versions. Simple.

You see? If only I was a consistent, dedicated to all things healthy, parent. A parent that steers clear of anything but homemade, homegrown, from scratch, all organic, never anything but good food. If I was like that, I wouldn't be in this situation complaining about how there aren't enough noodles in the SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS Macaroni and Cheese boxes.

If you ask me, I think I need to get a job. A fulltime job! So I wouldn't have to busy my mind with silly thoughts about box sizes of those crunchy wonders. Where I spend 30minutes typing away at how they need family size SPIDERMANS.

Now if you don't mind, I think I'll go own* a box of those old favorites.

*OWN: polish off by myself in a corner somewhere with a good book and a glass of wine.


Linda S. Socha said...

This post made my day! Love you style

Jamie said...

LOVE it!

Hope your Friday is awesome.

Hugs, honey. :)

Dawn said...

Loved that!

Kathy said...

Was ALWAYS a mainstay at our house!

Karen said...

One of my kids favorites when they were little too. :-)

Martha said...

I completely agree! That's the reason I don't buy the character mac and cheese--there's not enough in it. I was laughing out loud while reading this because I made baby food, baby cereal, baby-pretty-much-everything, but I drew the line at cloth diapers. Nuh-uh. No way.

Midwest Mommy said...

I have to tell you it drives me nuts the pricing of the character stuff. Chicken noodle soup with the "cars" or "princess" noodles is double the price for not nearly as much soup! Ugh, it drives me nuts. Great post.

Moohaa said...

Yet another thing to have in common. Having the best intentions and yet going with the flow of easy and convenient. I love Mac N Cheez. Can't stand the character ones though.. the noodles are never as tender as the normal tubes. :) Funny huh.

Love ya!

austere said...


Anonymous said...

The character ones are totally better, and I agree....not nearly as much in those boxes. They are the perfect size to polish off in the corner by yourself though :0)
And yes, I remember having to take over the cooking of the mac and cheese just to make sure the noodles were cooked thoroughly!!! Not to mention you chopping away at the noodles before they were cooked!! yuck!

Dznutz :0)