Saturday, September 26, 2009

FLU-E ON YOU!

Relax, thankfully we are all healthy. (SHH! don't say that too loud, I don't want the germ ears to pick up on this fact-not after the year we had).

Actually, I feel bad. Bad because today my boys will be getting their flu shot.

Kosher pigs to occur in October.

In my head I picture them lined up, execution style along the pretty painted walls within the examination rooms. I see tears, tense arms, high pitched voices (no, not like at a Hannah Montana or Jonas Brothers concert), words like, "Don't DOooo this to me, Mommy." "Make them not do it." "It's GONNA HURT IT'S GONNA HURT..IT'S GO.N.N.A. HU.R.T!!!
DAMN IT MOM, F@dge!"


No matter, it has to happen. Now, ideally, it would be fantastic if they all could have the shot at the same time. As of this morning, Jackson and Sullivan were already fighting about who goes first. Now, for all you new moms that are following along the flu shot highway, here's a trick to make the flu shot less painful:

1) Have the child sit up on the examination "bed."
2) Chose their weaker arm and have them lean a bit to that side
3) Have them dangle their arm off the side of the exam table
4) this loosens up the muscles, and the less they tense the less it will hurt
5) bribe the hell out of them
6) give them your Ipod to listen to
7) give them your cell phone, so that they can talk to daddy during the insertion of the needle
8) Bribe them with gifts

You know I'm just teasing about number 5 and 8 (note to self: bring cash for McDonald's shakes).

But truly, try to get them to relax their arm, and have them dangle it lower then their other arm. I know this because I did it on my arm, "to try it out." It didn't hurt a bit. Actually, the only time it truly hurt was a few hours later. But that feeling is more like I was lifting 5lb dumbbells all afternoon.

If your child has to have a flu shot, have them dangle their arm and "relax it." The better the dangle, the less the pain. If the nurse has an issue with that, let her know that it's what "makes them feel comfortable." If she still balks, ask for another nurse to give the shots.

Don't be afraid, Mommies and Daddies! You wouldn't go to the same bartender if he continued to make crap drinks, would you? No, you'd pick another bartender. Same thing here.

Sad.

Sad that I just compared getting the Flu shot, to a muscle flexed, oh so hot, bartender.

So at 3:00pm Central USA time today, close your eyes and dangle your arms, because somehow, my three will be preparing for what's meant to protect them.

FLU-E ON YOU, INFLUENZA BUG! STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM US!

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On a side note, here's a contest that is so worth entering even if you don't have a young baby. (I've opted to donate mine-if I win-to a less then fortunate mommy). Stop by her blog, let her know that you were sent by "ONE CRUSTY-MOM-E," and follow her rules. The contest ends today!
CLICK HERE: CONTEST FOR BABY SLING!

It's her very first giveaway ever. So lets give this Modern hippie mom a boost, a hello, and don't forget to let her know where you were sent from.

May your day be Prick free!