Saturday, September 19, 2009

Target, You Complicate Me

Let me first say, it's not completely your fault in regards to my "beef," but why is it that I can go into your store two days after Grandparents day is passed -er, lets go with over, and I can't find a turds worth of any Rosh Hashanah Cards? Anywhere.

Mind you, the Grandparents Holiday was two days ago on Sunday the 13th of September, and those lot of cards have been on display since, well, since the beginning of August. They were still sitting there, two days after their "hallmark holiday" was over. Sitting there, sharing space with Halloween cards, and Bosses Day cards (which is not until OCTOBER!!)-yet not one Hebrew card! OY VEY!

That really ticked me off, and as the majority of you know, I pray to Jesus and love crosses and speak the Lords Prayer! But if I want to send some cards to the parts of my family that follow the Jewish faith, I'm stuck. Or at least I'm stuck at Target. If Target had been my only option, I'd have had to create some sort of crossbreed card between a ghost with sideburns and a big man behind a desk, wearing tassels. Okay, that wasn't the greatest laugh ever, but I'm a blogger, not a comic!

I also had three very cranky after school boys, so mix that with your honey, CORE POOR IT Targhey! I was tempted to ask someone, right there, for the corporate office number that manages the greeting cards. I mean, Come on Target! Your vendor hangs up Grandparents Day cards in AUGUST, one month after it put up the general back to school cards.

The holiday of Grandparents is over, and there they sit, still, hanging out with the hallow weenies, but no not one circumsized Hebrew National Happy New Years card? No apples and honey and challahs rejoicing together with their Jewish mother in law? Their holiday is 4 days and a sundown away, and this ninny of a store had not one freaking cc of Kedem available to buy! Not even a 99Cent card! Not one card in relation to one of two of the Holiest of Holidays for the Jewish faith.

It took everything I had not to pitch a two year old Benmonster temper fit. I walked up and down the aisles, making sure I didn't just happen to miss the small selection, hidden behind the October Bosses Day greetings. I did a double take when I thought I saw a greeting card with a man blowing into a shofar. Ah-uh, nope, it was just a Thanksgiving card with a caveman holding a cornucopia.


It even took the store two attempts and two different walks to the Customer Service Desk, to get someone to come over to the greeting card aisle to assist me. Unfortunately, when the gentle Gramps did finally arrive to help me, (because, all the young minyans were busy playing videogames) he wasn't even able to spell Rosh Hashanah on his little electronic scanner dothingie. But surprisingly he did manage to call himself a goyim, and I, a shiksa. Pops, lemme tell you, if anyone of the Jewish Faith ever called me that to my face (because it is considered quite derogatory-as is the word DRECK), they'd be listed in my book of The Matzoh ball Schmuck of the year!

So, what did I do? I left ticked. I left with my three boys saying, "mom, you've never left here before without at least some random things. How come you didn't buy anything?"

Yep, I drove around and eventually my van led me to a hallmark store, just after Moses parted the Red Sea, and, traffic, for me! Fancy that! Thankfully, the store held a wide variety of beautiful greeting cards for these two upcoming Holidays.

That's my kibitz with Target. Because I am, after all a kibitzer and a kvetcher.

Oh yes, and one more beef, or perhaps schmaltz of a complaint: How come every time I walk into your store there is not a single shopper in line, waiting to check out, but the moment I approach the aisle of CHECKOUT ROW, suddenly it's like a bar at 2am before last call 10deep!

Explain that one to me!
L'Shanah Tovah!

Oh and a btw, Christmas Decorations SHOULD NOT be up before Bosses Day is Over! Why Are You Starting This So Early? Has Your Corporate Marketing mavens gone meshuggah?