Monday, April 19, 2010

I Can't Hear You!

If you're a parent and you find yourself reading this tedious post, you are now required to leave feedback. It's not often that I make a mandatory reply, if I have ever, but right now, I seek your opinions.

I've often thought that parenting is different based on the parents doing the parenting, the personalities of the children, how the parents themselves were raised, and of course any surrounding matter that makes up the "material" part of their life.

I've always thought that parenting for one won't be the same for another.
Which should be fine.

As long as the family isn't being abusive or neglectful in any way, parenting is different in each household.

Which is why I'm curious to know your opinion on something I will address shortly.
You may be beyond this stage of parenting, or in it manner deep and struggling with your own, "I'm just not sure what to do," but how should a parent parent, in your opinion?

Hold on a second, I have to finish that last part.

How do or did you parent your children when they were in a stage of 'hearing' you but not listening to you and following direction?

How do or did you parent your children when it had to do with manners at the dinner table as well as the treat of eating out?

Do you feel it's important to have sitdown dinners with your young ones? Obviously the older they get, it becomes far more difficult to have sit down dinners. With saying that, do you believe that by not having a family sit down dinner, or if that isn't possible, a daily "town council sit down chat" will hurt your family?

Will make your children respect you less?
Will make your children not hear you?
Will make you feel invisible?
Will will will..

I will parent the way I see fit. Period.
But I'm curious, how would you parent your children if they were currently having difficulties with using their ears as well as using their manners?

Sit up straight, and type your comment away. Just please be sure to keep your elbows off the laptop please.


KathyA said...

Yes, Ma'am!
When my kids were little (this even worked with big students) -- and I found they weren't listening, I would get really close, look in their faces, lower my voice substantially --almost to a whisper, and say, "I'm only going to say this once, pick those toys up off the floor and put them into the toy chest, now." (Fill in the appropriate command). It worked every time.

Martha said...

Well, my response is pretty much the same as KathyA. I get right down on my daughter's eye-level, gently put my hand under her chin and guide her face towards mine and politely tell her whatever it is that needs to be done. As for manners, if I tell her what needs to be done and I forget to add "please" on the end, she reminds me.

SOUL said...

this is one i didn't catch on to until my kid was a lot older than your boys-- but i do agree with what they say-- number one -- eye contact. get down to their level, so you aren't towering over them, in an intimidating manner, talk to them rather than at them... and communicate.
if i had it to do over again.. that is where i would have began my communication with soulkid.

although we have a wonderful relation, and she does talk to me with no holds barred-- almost embarrassing sometimes-- but hey-- i thank God for our relationship that we have on THAT level.

on the other hand-- you know-- when it comes to 'discipline'.. listening to what is expected or desired of her at home-- or in public.. responsibility, respect etc... if ya don't get that under control early -- you'll have three monsters runnin all over you in their teens -- and then what?

you know what you need to do already ... you can be the mom you want to be, and still be respected and loved, it's gotta be mutual though.

my two cents.
mistakes and all.

hugs to you crusty--
you'll tweet right on thru-- just watch :))

... Paige said...

be consistent
have the child tell you what you said, then they cannot say they didn't understand or didn't' know what you meant
be consistent
No does mean no, if they misbehave follow through with the designated punishment
be consistent
let them make their mistakes-no one has ever understood what hot is without touching it first
did I mention to be consistent

Anonymous said...

I'd say your tone is very important, lead by example, and follow through, consistency. Every time Tristan says "I aint got no" we correct him immediately and make him say it correctly. Actually....that's not working, cuz we still have to correct him. I need advice too! ;0) You just do the best you can Beef. Your kids are great boys. But they are kids, and they aren't gonna be perfect. I'd say 60% success rate at table manners is pretty good :0)