DEDEEN

It's not what you think.

It's more a "what would you do if you aren't known?"

Think about it for a moment, think about the one thing that you can bring to your family, parents, in laws, siblings, dogs, cats, birds, ducks.

Now if you aren't able to bring one thing to this table of yours, how would that make you feel?

I'm not saying you can only be 100% sure of one thing, but the one thing that differs from the other good gifts, and something that you could bring to this table of communication.

Would I call my carpenter brother to do my overhead sewer install, when my other brother is an amazing Plumber? For whatever reason you might think, you should also think about how the plumber feels that you aren't needing him.

If he's anything like my twisted mind, he'd be hurt.
But, this is a broads' brain you're reading and now it's a female plumber, female carpenter--you know what? I can't see that example working out here.

So, now, back to me.
I will say I am thankful to have multiple gifts (really? Don't go there people, you all know the suitcase story with my "Best Bettys.").

A lot of these gifts are gifts that my family has. All our gifts compliment one another, as long as we're open to that. Sure I might rock at the bakery, but so could (she does rock) my mom.
But we all have a uniqueness. If you have a good relationship with this person, you recognize this, and you allow them to be part of your table, their gifts and yours. You know this person.
Even though you both love clothes, one of you may be in high end fashion design. Do I call my radio broadcasting brother about needing help with teaching kids. When my other brother is a teacher?

I have this, um, "thing." If I sit and dwell on why I am this way, and for what, if any reasons, it will force me into overtime and like my addiction to Snow Caps, it will only get worse.

I love to be needed. Now, there is a difference, I think, between needy and needed. Needed you seek the person out that needs your support. You give. You have something different from some.

I love to help out. I wish I was rich, because it would be awesome to be one of those types. I would probably, as Brian laughs about, blow a good amount of money, on things for others.

Some might say I'm too nice. I do laugh at that, because I can see how annoying that would be. I do agree, as well, that I can be too nice. But I've learned how to be a snarky bitch, so watch your fine heel self. It is frustrating for people.

For some they might think it's not real. For others, the no backbone factor, you could come up with a bunch of these.

I think being needed towards other females within your network of family and friends, and they needing you, makes the relationship speak for itself.

You can never be the Vice President of a Bank, like your relative, but you can help when it comes to baby tips.

From depression
anxiety
anger
post partum depression
euphoria
tiresome
cranky
impatient,
happy,
time flying too fast
fevers and scratches take forever to heal
especially as they are etched within your hearts
their personalities
their differences,
the things you see in one of your kids
that remind you of yourself,
and thus you ultimately end up parenting that child
harsher, because you don't want them to have those
traits that you yourself have,
and cannot stand.
You know those kinds, the quirky habits.

Or maybe a son is way to sensitive and concerned with what others think
and wants to help out all the time.

So you can see I love to be part of a circle of Moms. Especially within my family. We don't hide the hard parts. We don't have to strip all the situations down to the maternity underwear thong gong, but, you don't hide the drama.

You help.
You admit when you need help.
You trust them.
They you.

That's how a relationship should work.
But if they can't see how you are, and they don't stop to pay attention,
they won't be willing to let you in on the story.
They try to erase.
Maybe not even intentionally. Maybe it's out of jealousy.
Siblings have jealousy. That's one of the main reasons that starts the long estranged path.

It's just nice to be needed. Especially when you know you can.
It's helpless, but as I learned with my brother's accident, things happen for a reason. You see how everyone handles the emotion. You recognize the differences, but you still are there for one another. I'm blessed like that. I'm also blessed that my siblings know what makes us all work.

I love being there, in the middle of things, helping, but wanting to do it, silently too. Like writing here. It's far easier for me to do this, then it is for me to say, "Please go to the store and get the pickles for Wednesday's pot luck mucker." (That's a neurological issue, another post, some other time.)

For me, I love to help. Kick it into highgear. When I am unable to, it turns me around and gets me all backwards. But in time, I would like to think that I'll remember this circumstance and realize, that it can be annoying to be around someone "too nice."

Especially if I am unaware of who they really are, because I just never gave them a chance to learn and build a relationship.

**Sorry if this is a ramble. I have a raging headache, was forced to take a new prescription that I really am not into, but I am sooo happy I'm off the hormones. Having the clotting issue, reminded me that I'd rather have to buy a new portapotty and take that everywhere, then I would to be in the hospital with a blood clot. No more hormones.

This ought to be interesting.