Wednesday, November 24, 2010

THANKSGIVING IS SO NOT LIKE THIS ......

Happy Gobbles and Gunk
How can you put up with this stuff?
I can think of some people,....


Who who, can you?
"Hoo Hoo"
said the owl
don't frown nor scowl
the pumpkins' in the turkey
the gizzards' in the pie
the jello is quite murky
Lets just all belch loud and sigh!

Poor Aunt Mable is stuck at the kiddie table
Dear Grand Maw Maw's sty fell out of her eye
Yet another example of why she's no longer quite able.

Someone soon farts and we know who to blame
The "One Upper" one ups time and again
The kiddies grow sullen over carrots in pie
Grand Maw Maw still can't find the sty from her eye.

To sit there and pout would be utterly lame
In all sense of insanity, pretend it's a game.

Round One is to see who gets the leg, heart, or thigh
There's always someone expressing "the dark meat's all mine!"
Suddenly Aunt Mabel lets out a loud shout,
"There's something funny floating right here in my meat pie!"

"Aunt Mabel, my dear, please do not lie,
Grand Maw Maw will accuse you of sinning, Oh MY!"


All the kids scream as they scramble away from Aunt Mabel!
This isn't a surprise to the parents at the adult table.
Someone tsk tsks from the corner of the room
Uncle Al claims that its just Santa,
but blame that on how much he's consumed.


Your ears try to listen amidst all of this mess
The "One Upper" one ups;
"I'm better at cooking then your dead Aunt Bess!"

Uncle Al belts out "looky here in my cup,.."
"Like I've always known, Wine is more potent then beer!"
Shaking your head you can't help but ponder;
Wondering quite frankly, what in good graces is going on in here?


Grand Maw Maw's claiming she just gave birth to a pup.
"That's nothing, said the One Upper,
"I've birthed 20... just right before this sup!"


Grand Maw Maw giggles a giggly giggle
her round ancient belly knocking over the jello.
"Hee Haww," snorts old senile Grand Maw Maw.
The poor jello shivers and jiggles while splat on the floor.

And just when you think there's not much more you can take:
with the "One Upper" one upping,
and all the ruckus Uncle Al's drinking does make.

No thanks to all that liquor,
There goes your Uncle,
stark naked, and running
stark naked and running
over your last blooming fall flower.

Aunt Mabel's voice you hear with such power,
"Lookie at that, Al's outside peeing the size of a lake!"
Because of all this, Grand Maw Maw's now had it,
"take me home, now, this is far too much crazy
my old mind can take!"

And As Grand Maw Maw stands up from the table,
fed up with all of this insane nonsense with crazy Aunt Mabel,
The tsk tsker appears from within the other room,
"Yea," he says, with the sound of such gloom.

Aunt Mabel cries out, her voice so very loud,
with tears in her eyes, her lips kissing the sky,
"You've found what I'm missing!"
"The crusted sty from my eye!"


"Indeed I have," says the annoying tsk tsker,
his finger assuming the role of nose picker.
"I really appreciate being here,
with all of you present
and this thankful thanksgiving meal."

"Delicious, amazing, and something I'd never be able to make,
a toast is due, to the host of all hosts,
may you have much laughter, much more then you can take!"

and with that those present, raised up all their glasses,
even Grand Maw Maw's cup rose up for the occasion.
(despite the fact that it moved just as slow as molasses.)
Happy and laughing they did all rejoice.
Laughing and thanking the tsk tsker that toasted.


"What about me?" whined the classic One Upper.
"After all, if it weren't for me, this tsk tsker wouldn't be here at this supper!
For I am the one that deserves all the credit."
The One upper goes on, "I refuse to allow any of you to con me,
because it was I that invited our dear sty finding Donnie."

Happy Thanksgiving!
I hope you're able to gobble it up before it gobbles up any of you. :P)

4 comments:

Jamie said...

I LOVE it! Such talent, and beautiful, too. :)

Happy Thanksgiving, E. I hope this is the most blessed one, ever.

Big hugs. :)

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SOUL said...

that's just cute!
tweets - and more happy days to you and yours!

KathyA said...

Happy Thanksgiving!