Thursday, July 12, 2007

36 months and 11 days AGO

On July 1st, 2004 I prepared to give birth by csection to my second child. The names that Big Dogg and I had picked out were Sullivan or Cecilia Grace. The IV in, I was wheeled away from my bigdogg, our son Jackson at home sleeping while Safta watched over him. Wheeled in at roughly 7am after sitting around for 2hours, my nerves were very calm. I wasn't scared, I was anxious. I wasn't nervous, but my heart rate and pulse were sending the monitors into a frenzy.

Bigdogg is escorted into the room after they had administered the spinal-which for some reason hurt like hell this time. I didn't recall it being as painful when I delivered Jackson. Course, Jackson is an ENTIRE DIFFERENT post for a DIFFERENT TIME.

The first sign of imminent birth was the numbness, the inability to "wiggle my big toe." (KILLBILL-Uma Thurman)

The second sign as Bigdogg sits next to me, stroking my forehead, gazing into my blue eyes, is the smell of something burning. The sound of what reminds me of men's electric shavers.

The tugging, and suctioning begins rather quickly as the OB and their staff talk amongst each other,but always stop to look and check on me. I feel like I'm on strapped down on a tiny rowboat, without the sides. With each wave (suction) I feel like I'm going to roll right out of the "boat." I ask softly if Bigdogg would stand up and watch. He does. It's not that bad for me, having been in the medical field previously and knowing what is going on definitely relaxes me.

Our Ob tells us he's pulling out the baby, and "it's a ................BOY!!"

What did I do? What was I thinking?

The honest truth was that when he announced that it was a boy, a part of me had an ache for a girl, but when I saw his face, when I heard him crying, when they laid him on my chest, I fell in love. It wasn't an unconditional immediate love, this time, it felt more like love. Simple.

He was a beautiful baby, our Sullivan. He reminded us of an old soul, such a beautiful old man type face. He latched on beautifully after I had been taken away from him in my own recovery for more than two hours. He was fine, I wasn't. I started shaking uncontrollably due to the spinal, they administered something to cease the almost seizure type shaking, and I broke out in a rash, and couldn't stop itching. They administered Benadryl and I threw up. I felt extremely dizzy, and I had a rather dull pain in the top of my head.

So after more than 2hours, I was able to hold my son on my own for the first time in his new life here. Luckily in that time, Bigdogg had spent his time making phone calls inbetween the long walk from nursery to recovery-it wasn't a close walk. After eating, he fell asleep immediately on my open nursing chest. Within 4hours of his life, I had two friends that came to visit, Ester and Jorge, and then Safta with our son Jackson and our Nana. They fell in love with him immediately. Jackson giving him funny stinky faces right off. Cooing over him and showing him Curious George that at one time was placed in Jackson's warmer, when he was first born. (Curious George was my all time favorite stuffed animal, along with my Baby Beans Blue and White Pull string doll!!)

My head still dull, but due to the amount of blood loss I had, as well as the fact that they had issues with the scar tissue, I was given the pain pump, so it wasn't that bad. I still recall conversations that I had. My sister in law came and her heart pumped something new into her soul the moment she laid eyes on Sullivan. She took him in her arms and held him so beautifully.
Bigdogg and I making new private memories with our Sullivan, new little nicknames, songs,..a beautiful moment for dad, mom and 2nd son.

It was a wonderful memory to welcome him into the world down in Florida.

And now he's three years old, and he is just the personality mirror image of his mother, although he looks exactly like his father does now.
He's never wrong.
He's independent.
He's a comic.
He's himself.
He's not afraid.

Happy Birthday Dear Sullivan,

We Love You!!
mom, dad, Jackson, and Benjamin
Always YOUR,
Crustybeef Mom!!~~

*Another post sometime will be my experience with waking up after an increasing pain in my head, and not being able to see-my eyes felt as if they were masked in soft white clothes with tiny pinholes of light coming through them. Not to mention my head was trying to make room for my crushing brain of a headache. OUCH!


abbagirl74 said...

What a beautiful picture!

captain corky said...

I'm sitting in a hospital bed as I type this. I enjoyed the story of your son's birth.

I'm looking forward to reading lots more. :)


Thank you very much, Abbagirl!!

And corky, I hope you're resting and enjoying your little bundle. They are miracles indeed!


Portia said...

ohmygoodness that story choked me up good! you have a beautiful family, thanks for sharing the pictures.
i always found it a little nervewracking when i was in labor and the nurses and doctors were standing all around me, chatting away as if they were at lunch.
this is an awesome post!

p.s. that blanket looks familiar...does every hospital in the country use the same red white and blue ones? we wound up with several.


Yep, the age old hospital baby blankets..After having three babies we as you, have quite a collection.
They make great dryer cloths after washing your car. :O)
Thanks for reading!

david santos said...

Pretty child, congratulations

Cheryl said...

What a great idea to share Sullivan's birth story on his birthday. My daughter loves to hear the story of her birth day. I wish I remembered more stories as she likes nothing better than to have me talk about her. Go figure.

BTW, if you go to this link, you'll see where I posted about the book The Glass Castle, and a review for it:

captain corky said...

Thanks for the link! I'm going to add you to the roll call ASAP.


Cheryl, You're the best!
and I'll definitely check out your site review..awesome.

I've asked this a few times, and I never end up following up so i'm going to bug all of you Groove, Baleboostah, The others too!:),
when you post a comment, how do you get your picture next to your comment. I can't seem to find it.

Corky, that's so sweet of you..whenever, no rush on your end,..just take care of Cjr,mommy and you..a new mission has now been assigned to your household.
(My kids love superheros...they're planning on going to superhero school when they're finished with college. :)