Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Garma or Gasma?

Remember all that gas talk last week?

That very night I was exhausted. Looking over at Bigdogg as he sat on the couch, staring at the tv. Not just staring, but eyes glazed staring at the Tv. Perhaps over the fact that football is coming!!Football is coming!! FOOTBALL IS COMING!!!

Or maybe it was his pain meds putting him in that stupor due to that nasty extracted tooth.

NOT THE POINT OF THE STORY, so I will continue..

AT about 8:30pm I told Bigdogg I was heading upstairs for bed. That I couldn't keep my eyes open. Bigdogg on the other hand turned off ESPN and told me that he wanted to watch the "ROAST OF FLAVOR FLAV.." Would I mind if he watched it in bed next to me?

(You see, and this may make some of you GAG but this is MY Blog and MY Stories, so you'll have to skim past this part if you don't want to yak on your morning toast and coffee. Bigdogg and I have always for the most part gone to bed at the same time. It's very rare that one heads up to bed without the other. I wish I knew when this started, or when it evolved, but unless one of us are sick, we'll always turn in at the same time.

I usually fall asleep on the love seat downstairs while we sit watching our shows in the evening. Which is still entirely different than heading upstairs solo because we still end up turning in at the same time-when he's done watching his shows, he'll nudge me, wake me up, and we'll head upstairs to bed-always turning in at the same time.)

Well, that night was one of those nights where I just needed some peace and quiet. No noise, no sounds, just sleep. I asked him if he wouldn't mind waiting just a bit, say 20minutes to give me a head start into dream state before he came into our bedroom, turned on the TV and started chuckling over the roasting of flavor flav.

"Sure enough," he said.

Now you know when you're in a deep sleep but you THINK you remember something, as foggy as you were? You remember the children crying in the night, but you don't remember what they were crying about as you "midnightmommed" them back to sleep?

I woke up the next morning remembering the fact that Bigdogg had come into bed pretty much right away. I remember hearing the TV and the noises in the distant background in my mind. I remember Bigdogg laughing and laughing and laughing. I remember even thinking, Come on, this "Roast of Flavor Flav can't be that funny.." I remember getting annoyed (I get really annoyed-my alter sleep personality comes out and gets quite snappy) and said something like,
"ughfa, I thought you said you'd watch this downstairs. You'd give me 20minutes to fall asleep."
With that turning away from Bigdogg's sounds, and my-alter-sleep-personality throwing a pillow over my head.

Bigdogg woke up the next morning with a Cheshire-cat grin on his face:

"You remember last night?" He says.

"Yeah, I do, you were supposed to do the comedy show downstairs and then come up after awhile so I could get into my sleep first," I said yearning for my first sip of coffee.

"Uh, do you remember EVERYTHING of last night?" He asks.

Quite obviously I didn't.

Bigdogg proceeded to tell me that he did watch the Roast of Flava Flav, but he watched the entire show downstairs in our family room. He didn't come up to bed until around 10:30pm which was a good 2hours since I had gone up to bed. He couldn't sleep so he turned on the TV and was watching something on ESPN when all of a sudden noises, gas, lots of vibrating* noises.
Rumbling noises. Rippling noises. Stop the madness noises.

(* My face turning beet red then and now even as I type this.)

I must have had too many "somethings" for dinner. Because as he put it, he'd never heard those noises "coming from me" EVER like "that" before. Thus the reason he was cracking up-because of the damn firework show my fanny decided to put on for him while I was dead asleep.

Oh my gosh, I am still embarrassed. What I don't understand is how come I remember the laughing, tv on, the alter-sleep ego getting pissy, but I don't remember hearing those sounds coming from my tush? You'd think I would've not only heard them, but felt them, given the account from Bigdogg.

I guess that's what I get for the back to back gas stories. Gas finds it's way back to you somehow, especially when you mock it. :)
Just like Karma.

Welcome To Crustybeef~
Gasma or Garma what "sounds" better?

P.s. I AM FEELING BETTER!! YEAH!! My chest can breathe again.


abbagirl74 said...


still lol....

You are so funny. Good thing someone was there to witness it. I am pretty sure we all do it. Here's to GasX! :)

Portia said...

you are a riot! GASMA! definitely. and don't feel bad...just cause we don't all post our gas stories doesn't mean we don't have any.

SO glad you're feeling better:)

p.s.your evenings sound a lot like mine...i'm asleep by 830/9pm and then get up to go to bed whenever hubband's done watching TV:)

Anonymous said...

That was so funny. lol....

captain corky said...

Very funny post and it takes a lot of guts to admit that kind of thing. My hat's off to you. ;)


abbagirl: I lived on gasX will prego-yucki pasty nastiness-even those darned berry flavored tablets tasted like yuckmouth.

Portia: Gasma it is!! It's wierd, we don't feel as connected when one of us turns in for the night earlier..for some reason I'd much rather doze on the couch content that he's near me, versus head up stairs..it's lonesome. -issues, I know.

captain: I figured since I've experience three births (and you know first hand what occurs during that "Stuff.." why not, right? I mean I Know we all do it, and I guess I just hold it until I "think" everyones sleeping..at least I don't remember it..ugh.


Andrew said...


double LOL! I got the biggest laugh out of this. Thanks for the smile and welcome to humanity. I have been known to let a few rip myself. :-)

tex said...



SOUL: said...

that is some funny stuff. and isn't it funny how we can be married for years and still get embarrassed over a little gas in the night.... they don't care... seems we give them more gas as the years pass.

anyhow... glad to hear you can breathe again... i bet you're smokin now aren't ya?

how's the rest of the clan?


Anonymous said...

Stumbled, stalked your from 4th ave blog and have to say I am glad I did.

I admit to laughing at you while admiring your guts in posting about it.


Andrew: you're gladly welcome! THe way I look at it, he witnessed our three sons birth, so truthfully I guess this is nothing..still though, I am a girl and it's still a turn my face red situation. :)

Tex: yeah, yeah, and I quote "hardeeharharharrr Darth Vader!"

Soul: I guess the one good thing is that it only gets worse for "them" too..course at who's cost-every man in my life loves gas-us women? We do it, we know that, but when it happens unbeknowst to us, it's painful. ;)

BlueFeenix: Welcome to crustybeef~~~I am flattered you stopped by, Mr. 4th is an amazing man and I'm honored that you decided to lurk over here for awhile!! Hope to see you back. I look forward to stopping by you as well!

SOUL: said...

yes, it can be painful.. but sometimes when my hubby gets real bad... like ummm uncontrollable gas attacks...which of course he could surely go somewhere else , rather than play the ole pull my finger game :))
but, sometimes.. ill let one go just for the shock factor. still embarrassing, but i'm not sure who gets more embarrassed, him or me.
ps... i've never told anyone that... now all of blogland knows my juvenile little secret.

Baleboosteh said...

You always put a smile on my face Crusty!
So glad to hear you are feeling better too! :D


soul: as andrew said to me up above I will now follow his lead,
and "welcome you to humanity.."hahah..
The shock factor shuts it up, the planned force-not the creap out unknowingly sound-so it makes sense you'd do that. :)

Right back at you Mrs.B!! Glad to see that you're back and hope you've had some time inbetween work for yourself. How's the conversion going?


austere said...

Thanks for a great laugh first thing not exactly morning but mid morning. You sure put a huge grin on my face. AND that's cute, turning in together.


austere: The pleasure was all mine..course perhaps bigdogg's too. ::)
I don't feel normal going to bed without him laying down beside me.
Hope your dad's eating more. :(