Saturday, August 18, 2007


Cheryl: it's sooo hard being a parent. I can internally feel my emotional floodgates begining to surface-maybe I need to go back on zoloft..I don't get as much time as I selfishly want-my alter ego-my all about myself area-but I can't be like that-I only sometimes wish I wouldn't get these heartaches because than I could just be a miserable person that doesn't care-it'd be easier on the heart-less hurt I think..but I have bigdogg who is always willing and pushing for me to go out by myself-I just can't will myself to go-the guilt of leaving, and the yearning to rather spend time with the entire family and enjoy these times because someday death will find me and well, you know..

Soul: Oh yeah, I'm a bit back and forth right now..just wrote a thing on peace and after writing to cheryl and now you I'm all, eekk..teeth clenched over my own internal issues not due to anyones just now it's about 6:17am and I'm going to go outside again and have my first am smoke and finish my 2nd cup of coffee.
see you guys later, I hope! Thanks to all of you for making me not "feel" so isolated-incredible world this blogoworld-

Welcome To Crustybeef~
Good Saturday Morning!!
Im not even wasting time to spell check this, now it's 6:19am and I need that cigarette.

For my readers, you can find LADEDA here, and SOUL here-funny witty, passionate women with different stories to tell, and great love for their families-incredible!


SOUL: said...

mornin crusty... i'm here for that coffee break!
speaking of which... i toasted ya back and damn near burnt my tonsils out! thanks alot. :))

come find me.


good morning back!
sorry you burnt your throat..ouch..smoke more, sip less!

SOUL: said...

smoke more-sip less...good one. you like to cook... cuz if you do... here's somethin i used to do when my girl was small... and i was alone all the time...
i'd put her in her high chair in the kitchen while i cooked... and i would put on cooking shows for her...with different accents!!! she loved it!! and i did too.
hey, we gotta amuse ourselves somehow when we are the only adult in the house...right?


soUL: good idea!! Thanks..a bit ago we had an intentionally playdough fight throwing it around in our kitchen on the was fun!!

Portia said...

i'm the same way. i get frustrated with never having ANY time to myself, but when it's offered i feel bad taking it because odds are, the boys will go back to the sitter's where they already spend all day five days a week!