Grandparents that don't adhere to your child's schedule when you've left them in their care?
Grandparents that sing Music to their grandchild when they're only about 6weeks old?
Songs from another language?
Words and Letters from another language?
Grandparents that will walk up to each other, lean in and just give each other a kiss while in a room full of other people?
Grandparents that will set something up, and than change it, and then change it again, and than change it again?
Grandparents that will call and say they need their grandchild fix, and can you bring them up tonight for the weekend?
Grandparents that aren't afraid to look back on a photo of their grandchild and think, "I thought that was a good picture, looking back, the child looks like an over sized alien."
Grandparents that will roll around on the floor, stay up late laying in bed next to their grandchild when visits are in, and just talk on the same level to their grandchild?
Grandparents that bend the rules more often than the parents?
Grandparents that love their grandchildren even if they may grow up a completely different way than the Grandparents may like?
Now, what if this was part of the equation? Still into it all?
Grandparents that urge the parents to make a one side decision on religion, saying you can't have both?
Grandparents that don't always understand the other parts of religion?
I love all of it. Every bit, because sure there are things that could be deemed as "are you serious, Clark?" But you all adjust, conform, change, accept, and once again, love. Than the laughter always comes, always!
I love that my mother in law can fly in a few days before we had our third and stay for 21/2 weeks with my 74 year old Grandmother in law and take care of our older two when we delivered Benjamin. They cared for them, drove them to McDonald's, took them to parks,...they amaze me at their zest for life. How many people do that? That's how I want to be, especially since I'll only always be a Mother in law when my sons take their wives-which I do want to be, as I don't really want my sons to be stuck on me like a mommas boy, and that's only because of how stressful that would make it for my daughter in laws someday.
I don't think it would make me comfortable.
He loves me to death, and to this day, when he sees me, just like Grandma, they'll say, "we fell in love with you the first time Bigdogg ever showed us a picture of you, and then we met you and WOW!"
If you are the daughter in law marrying into a very close family, take the time and get all of the families birthday and anniversaries. If you have to put it on paper, or a calendar in your email, do it. Acknowledge them on their birthday with even a picture drawn from their grandchild. A phone call perhaps.
Eventually you'll memorize them, and that will mean the world to them.
If you feel like giving them things are hard to do because of what they may already have, give them personalized cards, calendars, address books, notebooks, a magnet that has your child's hand print.
Give them your time.
Give them your children's time.
Give them your respect because as they are elders, no matter where they come from, they all feel a certain way about respect, give it to them even if sometimes a tongue is bitten.
Understand that everyone is raised a certain way, and for the most part it's not the same, so giving that a strong consideration, learn to agree to disagree.
They can't possibly think the same, and they may do things that don't make any sense to you, but that's not to say that it's doing something the wrong way, for some it's just what they think is normal.
Be compassionate with the family, and engage yourself with them.Just because it's different, doesn't mean it's wrong.
Give them your love, and they will see it, they will love you when they see the efforts. Sometimes for some it just takes trying a bit harder, making one extra phone call, that changes the way life is glanced.
Welcome To Crustybeef~
I'm not saying you should be stepped on either, I'm just saying that when you're introduced to your future family in laws, these are some things that work at building the relationship so that it makes your own family dynamics more comfortable.
Sorry for the soapbox..no clue how I went from all of that.