Tuesday, May 13, 2008

"Our Rule is no _______ ever in this house"

I'm watching the boy that I've written about on previous occasions. The one that's not so nice most of the time.

Today from 9am-11am -CENTRAL TIME-because his dad that usually works from home, needs to go into the city all week for some type of IT project. His mom having her own law practice has a multitude of cases and cannot stay home with him, so she has him shuffling between different families and different shifts pretty much all this week. Don't ask me why he isn't in the after- school care program that the school hosts for a very small fee, I don't have that answer.

Over time there's been much more revealed to me in terms of this family and to respect them I will not-at this point-get into it here, but I am still not, nor will I ever, allow my son to play there without me present.

I'm going into this arranged sitting with open eyes, calm arms and mind and plan on, if necessary, using that little catch phrase listed in the title of this post. I won't use the word, "I'm sorry" because then I'm apologizing to him for a rule or behavior that is just not tolerated..

I'm learning-----slowly----on how to be a better playdate mom. I have to be strong and unfortunately for this child, hovering over him and Jackson throughout the morning, but as long as I am watching them constantly, any issue that could come up, I will be able to handled immediately.

Planned Phrases besides the one in the title?
Or planned actions and phrases?

If the boys argue I will attempt at having them solve their own dispute, encouragement is key here. I may help by offering a few basic strategies but all in all I have to encourage them to talk through it themselves. After all it's natural for all children to complain or bicker with one another, but anything that may seem physical or if the taunting persists, I will intervene.

Now if the child talks back to me I plan on telling him firmly that "I will not communicate with him this way, we don't talk like that in this house, nor do I like the way you just spoke to me.... It's not okay to talk to people that way." Then I will walk away and make sure to inform his mom of the issue later on.

Chances are because I'm working myself up into this playdate method of battling a brat, there won't be any issues which is perfectly okay with me.

Now I just need to make sure he stays out of the room where my husband watches his prized love, his TV. Apparently a few weeks ago this particular boy at his own home jumped off his parents couch, while holding a bat and the bat flew out of his arms and smashed straight into their rather large big screen TV. Granted that's the story I got from the parents of this boy, but regardless I must protect Bdd's TV under all cost or, well,...I can't even think of what to say. I shudder with the reaction if something ever happened to his love-being the TV of course. Because his TV is a big one and very new-and very much a home theater TV strictly for his "movie theater experience room" it.must.be.protected.Luke.I.am.your.father.

Welcome To Crustybeef~
Time to get my bratty battle gear on---just in case.
Oh by the way on a completely different note, I've given up caffeine-I had to lest I burn a hole in my tummy. I'm on day 5 with no regular coffee-only decaf with lots of hazelnut cream flavor. It's challenging in the afternoon when the headaches set in, but this was something I had to do to improve my very runny digestive system. Well, that and some other things, but we'll chat about that later.
Have a great day.


jAMiE said...

You have your hands full today...i hope all goes well ...and the tv survives...and you do too!

austere said...

Good luck. I remember that kid all right.


Jaime: All went well, thankfully,...it got a bit sketchy towards the end, and a slight attempt at over battling me-but I won. :)

Austie: I saw what happened, heard what happened, read what happened..I'm so sorry..unbelievable, and during their prayers too! :( sad world of today.


Kelly Jene said...

You're a good woman, Crusty. That little guy needs normality and that's what you can give him. I sure hope you're right that now you are prepared, he won't be a hassle.

Good for you on the coffee. I know the feeling. I am on week 2 with almost no coffee. I've heard my insides say thank you. :)

Angels are with you sister!

bonnie said...

I think caffeine w/d headaches last four days and then you are free. Best wishes. I personally am quite happy with my morning stimulant.

The most effective "method" of dealing with Jessica's disrespect (starting at age 4) was for me to turn my back on her and walk away. She could not tolerate my "abandonment" and within seconds would sob for forgiveness. It worked for us so it's worth a try.

Diane Vogel Ferri said...

Having a plan for sitting is a great idea - hope all went well!

Portia said...

You're good to open your home to him, and better to be prepared for what you know lies ahead. Glad to hear it went okay.

Good luck on cutting out the caffeine! I am so impressed, the cigs and now this! You are inspiring me:)

Luke.I.am.your.father...you rack me up;p

Portia said...

um, sorry, that's crack. you crack you don't rack..:)

Cheryl said...

So glad to hear it went well. Is this a week-long deal? If so...sounds like you have the tools in place to deal with said boy. The family is fortunate to have you to come to, and the boy probably appreciates the normalcy of your home.

Is the no-coffee working? I never have the problem you have...mine is the opposite. One of the reasons I love coffee. Probably too much info there.

Gypsy said...

I am now on my 3rd day of giving up the ciggies....AGAIN. Gotta keep trying though...right?

That young boy is lucky to have someone set boundaries for him. All kids need boundaries and experts say they actually feel more secure if they have rules to follow.