Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Passed On

I know people that have oodles of items stockpiled and stored from many different points in their lives.
Perhaps a napkin from the restaurant that hosted "their first date."
Or a chair that has sat with dust in a basement for over 20years that was once her mothers.
Maybe every banking ledger that was always balanced to the penny in boxes on shelves near that chair that is collecting dust.
Notes from high school friends.
Knick Knacks and pictures.
45's (RECORDS!!) still play worthy wrapped in paper in a box box and another box that just sit there, never being played.
Quite possibly a band aid that remains tucked away in a dresser drawer reminding of the time When they were seen by a rather steamy hot doc.
Maybe a pregnancy test that showed positive.
The dried crust of your child's umbilical cord.
The first few teeth that they lost when they were 6 and 7.

I know people that feel the need to create the same meals that they had when they were growing up because that's what you're supposed to do. EH?
The meals that their mom or dad made for them. Because those meals are the best meals that have ever sat melting on a tongue. There are no meals better then the ones that were made by mom and pop. True, but seriously, is it so wrong if a meal that your great Granparents might have once prepared is something that you don't like the taste of? There are some that would scorn you if you turned your nose away from a meal made from the past. Because these very meals must be made in households today, or perhaps in a household similar to yours. The reason? Because they were once prepared by your mother or father or their mother or father, and it's only necessary to repeat the process, carry the torch and prepare them now-just.like.they.did. Make sure it's prepared the right way and make sure you call it the right name. But don't forget to make mention of the very most important fact:
The fact of where the meal came from, or the recipe, because naturally that's what is most important with aging and with our passed on elders.
Seeing Things and Remembering recipes.

When I die I don't want to be remembered for my recipes. I will not haunt my children's homes if they don't carry on the recipes of the meals that I made for them that caused their tummies to turn happiness flip flops. I will not be offended if they don't name drop when making a breakfast casserole for their children in some 20+ years from now. Or whenever I go.

I don't want to leave my children with the task of dividing or disposing of the material memories of my life. To me that just doesn't seem fair. Remember, I'm talking about things like band aids, pregnancy tests, notes between my husband and I, my old bank registers, my very very old stock records, my very old and still current list of medical aliments and their dates and the doctors..and when I was seen, and how much I weighed, and how skinny I was back in high school....materials. silly silly materials.
Take family photos if you want. If I build things, you may take that if you want to. But I promise not to be offended if you'd rather just sell it all in an estate sale because I hope my children value something else more so then just "things."

I guess there are people out there that are so consumed with their past that they feel the need to hold onto every single material thing that relates to "back then" in order to prevent the memory from fading within their brain. In order to prevent the memory from dying when they do. To make certain that it carries on in other generations.
To have that constant visual of "when I" is just not important to me.

Nope!! For me I just want to be remembered. I want my children to just remember me by using their minds and not by looking at all my things. Just Sell everything! It's only objects. I won't fade from their memories if my old curtain rod isn't hung in a bedroom of theirs.
Sell it all.
Just remember me in your mind.
Period.
Nothing material about that.
And until I pass on, I would like to hold onto all the glory days of my past solely in my mind. I don't need a band aid to remember the time I fell and skinned my knee and met my prince charming.


Welcome To Crustybeef~
Nothing material about that.
I know I said it twice.

12 comments:

abbagirl74 said...

Very well said!

Palm Springs Savant said...

wow that's quite a position. One thought is to make a video for your kids and future grandkids now, so they will have seen you at a young age. Don't tell them about it now, just make it and save it for them.

CRUSTYBEEF said...

abba: why thank you!!!

PSS: Hmmm,...now that is a fantastic idea..lets just hope they'll have the available technology to convert the old school dvd into whatever is the newest electronic viewing rage. :) lol..great idea!!!


Always,
Elizabeth

ummmhello said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ummmhello said...

What a great way to put it!! I totally agree.
Does that mean my own mother won't haunt me for tossing her 12 boxes of lamp shades when she's gone? Seriously. Lamp shades. No lamps.

fiwa said...

I agree that there should be no pressure to save momentos or furniture that belonged to family. My husbands family would die if they knew I got rid of some of the crap they've given us. Wobbly, wormy chairs that are rotten, stained linens...

BUT, I would love to have my mother's recipe book.

Good for you for letting your sons decide.

Portia said...

How sweet Crusty! There are more important things for sure...well not "things" but like you said... I'm sure your kids will appreciate your point of view on this:)

Martha said...

I'm not into "things" either, though my touch of OCD does tend to lead me toward hoarding things sometimes. Fortunately, I only hoard select items--like old college text books in case I need them somewhere down the road!

Diane Vogel Ferri said...

Love this post and concept Crusty - I totally agree - plus if my kids had to remember me for a recipe - well- I'd be forgotten!

Brad said...

OK, I admit. I'm a pack rat. I'm the family repository of prior generations things. Everyone in the family knows this and because I'm the only one that wants the stuff I normally get it. It's not that I remember them thru things. It's just comforting for me to sit in Grandmas chair (from Waconda Rd) It's part of the memory I suppose. I know they're just things, but it makes me feel closer to them.

Mary said...

Hear! Hear! I totally agree with you.

SOUL: said...

me too.
all it does is stack up and collect dust anyhow. or end up in a yard sale twenty years later.
i'm gettin rid of all my junk before i go. just to lighten that burden.

have a good night-