Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Smart Cafeteria

Like many products now days there are ones that as a parent I am just absolutely in love with, and then there are ones that fall into these following categories: "Nah, but okay maybe, I could take it or leave it but am not sure I like it so much," followed by the category "I will never ever purchase this whatsoever because it's a waste of my money-BAH!"

Having 'mind categories'** to filter through the products on today's shelves, is a wonderful thing for me, it goes well with my overall quirky disposition. Let me tell you how handy mind categories are when it involves children's products, however many there are out there.

Placed on the list of never going to waste my money, is the children's Listerine version which when spitting out the swooshes, displays colorful (either pink or green based on your flavor and colored bottle of choice) bacteria so that children may actually see the yuckies in pink or green, slowly oozing down towards the drain of their bathroom sink, caked and clotted together like a bad episode of beets meet green beans. Okay, not that much, but fairly close based on how well they brush prior to the fluoride rinse. Because the point is, this mouth wash helps remove particles that they may have missed when brushing. NEWSFLASH: all rinses do the exact same thing, they're just not as much fun.

Don't you remember how disgusting fluoride was/is? They'd have them in those white small Dixie cups on a brown cafeteria type tray and if you weren't careful you would squish the weak white Dixie cups with your little kid classroom fingers. The fluoride was always very warm, very blah blue and without a doubt, someone would always complain about the smell, how much their stomach hurt afterwards, and perhaps the occasional barf on their yellow and tan colored metal and plastic seat and desk.

The dreaded fluoride treatments administered in your classroom at school. I HATED IT! That darn swish minute always seemed to last forever!! I swear to this day the ones that were watching the time (usually room moms of the kids that thought they were the teacher's pet) always seemed like they were out to get everyone else, and I am convinced they extended the time a couple of seconds past the 60second mark. Paranoid? Well naturally yes! Especially if it has to do with me being in 7Th grade gurgling and swirling and swishing and foaming and leaking out of the sides of my tightly closed mouth, from those dreaded fluoride treatments. Have I mentioned how much I hated doing those things in school?

So, back to this Listerine kids product that is now out on the shelves. I swore I wouldn't waste my money and buy it. I swore that I would administer the treatment for Jackson (because you should be beyond the age of 5 or check with your dentist) with the usual -although kid friendly- colorless and fun-less over the counter boring products of today.

Until I got the "TRY ME FREE" coupon!! So I picked up the product at our local Target with my "TRY ME FREE" coupon. I can't tell you how excited Jackson and Sullivan were to see that product sitting on the counter of their duck themed decorated bathroom. I mean, ever since they first saw the product on commercials (in between JUSTICE LEAGUE and TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND and other ones that go way back) they would grab my attention and act as if they just witnessed a candy bar flying through our TV and landing in their laps.

"MOM, we have to get that, it shows us our germs!"
"MOMmm, we can see what we didn't brush because it's in color!"
"Mom, it's at a store near us!!"
"Mom it's friendly for kids!"

Those were the typical comments each and every time the Listerine commercial aired itself on TV. My boys could be in the midst of building Lego's on the table in front of the TV and the moment that commercial turned on, they were transfixed on viewing the amazing scientific way that a child could actually see the dirty crap leftover in their mouth. As amazing as it seemed, as tempting as it sounded, I wouldn't buy it. Mainly because I see their leftover food particles all the time in their backwashed meal cups so if they want science, they should glance into that badboy.

No matter what method's they tried, I still wouldn't switch from the stuff they (Jack) already had, until I had the golden ticket of the free coupon.

Why not give it a try, right?
So they did, and I did get permission from their dentist (THE SAUNTERING FRANK) for Sullivan to try it as well, only in a a smaller amount. They are in love with it! Absolutely in love with this product! They want to do it everyday, although according to my dentist it's best to do the garbage spit and view swish every other day. Fine by me! The more they loved it, the more I cursed it. I don't know why, so don't ask, it just bugged me that they were sucked into the marketing gimmick of clean fresh teeth. I told you, quirky disposition, remember?

Every other day you'll find us up in our ducky themed bathroom, their two heads over the sink, pink colored swish oozing out of the side of their mouth, bubbles foaming and the sound of their young mouth's swishing away in excitement over what will be occurring in less then 30seconds, 29, 28, 27, 26, 25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,...

...Because naturally I am there counting out loud for them, being their time clock for the countdown to bacteria land, and because I didn't want to be cruel to you and count down from 60, I started at 30. Oh and this was my attempt at being dramatic and detailed as much as possible.

So they're swishing, and I am about to reach the golden number of 1. Almost immediately the two of them lean over and spit out pink colored mouth saliva mixture (reminds me of pink/red PEZ Easter color tablets) and express in excitement what they're viewing, oozing into the drain of the sink:

JACKSON: "Solly, look at all my bacteria!"
SULLIVAN: "Wohhh, hey Jack look, I HAVE ALOT OF CAFETERIA IN MINE-duh*** TOO!"

Seriously, I must be on a Sullivan phrase roll, either that or he's the one that's on a word roll, either way, rest assured, because of that comment alone, I am now a HUGE ADVOCATE for that colored swirly green or pink option Listerine Children's wash.

All because he said cafeteria.
***Yes, when he says the word, MINE, he ends the word with a D sound.***

*This is not a paid endorsement from Listerine, nor am I being compensated in any way because of the mention of their product-it's free marketing for them, the best type!*

24 comments:

Kelly Jene said...

You are so funny! I'm thinking of trying it. But my oldest uses adult listerine and my youngest may not be interested. So who knows!

austere said...

Hilarious...I began to laugh at the countdown, and at work too...
:))

Thanks.

Raining tons suddenly, but my day is all sunshine.

Gypsy said...

You used to swish and swirl at school? That's amazing. The only thing I remember about school when I was young is that they made us drink a small bottle of milk every morning supposedly because it was good for our bones and teeth. I remember the bottles were made of glass too and not plastic or cardboard like they would be nowadays.


I also remember that because I was the mug who had to collect all the empty bottles and put them in a crate. Then me and my other sucker monitor buddy would have to take the crate to the kitchen where we would dutifully wash each and every bottle out with clean water. No wonder I'm still not keen on plain milk. :(

Cheryl said...

We never used Listerine or anything like it in school. I've never gotten into the habit, sorry to say. I have a bottle of the stuff on my vanity collecting dust.

Great product review from you. Keep it going boys!

Brad said...

We didn't have flouride treatments in school so that's a new one on me. I do remember the stink everyone raised when they went to put it into the tap water in our area.

What ever happened to those stinkin little red pills that should you where you had missed brushing? Blech!

Real Live Lesbian said...

I think I have some listering from the last century under my cabinet!

I'm wondering about those little red pills, too Brad!

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Kelly: Be like me, don't bulk until you get a free coupon through the mail flyers that come through!

:)
E~

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Austie: Too bad Sullivan wasn't near you, he's dying to use his umbrella--it's been raining here but not when we're outside---
SMiles are good and laughter too!

E~

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Gypsy: Isn't it amazing how things like milk bottles can shape us in our actions as adults? I wouldn't like it either though..the smell of empty milk bottles mixed with random people's saliva..EWwwwwww.

Yep, Fluoride treatments I think maybe it was once a month(private school priviledge I guess) :) HAHA


Glad to see that you're out and about!! I thought of you when arranging for an EBAY purchase from a gal out in your Aussie. :)

E~

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Cheryl: hmmm, perhaps that's why you're always healthy--the trick is, don't rinse!! Don't be ashamed..you'have good teeth genes..what I wouldn't give!!

:)

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Brad: I LOVED Those red tablets and do remember the fluoride issue over in chicagoland..go figure..

I wonder if kids now have to do it, or is it not PC? :)

E~

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Real LIVE Lessena: GOOD NEWS: if you have toe fungus you can use your listerine bottle! Just soak your toes in some Listerine and it'll clear up toe fungus..seriously!!

BRING BACK THE RED TABLETS!!

E

(BTW: HI and WElCOME!!!)

Susan said...

CB -

As long as it is not harmful and it gets them to brush well...

what the hell

happyone said...

That is so funny!!
We never did the listerine thing in school nor did my kids.
I once bought listerine and used it a couple of times and then it just sat collecting dust.

Kstro said...

BLUUHH! I so remember doing those flouride rinses in school...disguting!! I still remember the taste and the smell of that flimsy dixie cup....and the worst part...spitting it back into the cup afterwards and feeling your warm saliva thru the cup!
YUCK!!!

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Snippets: True..so much as they promise not to swallow!

tomorrow!!! :)

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Happyone: Try it for toenail fungus, I'm serious!! :) or it makes for a great penny jar. :)

CRUSTYBEEF said...

KSTRO: OMG! The warm saliva..OMG! I forgot about that,..ewww, I do recall that too. Bluh!

Julie W. said...

Well, I bought that stuff too... Mine has a little button on the lid that flashes & lights up for 60seconds... when it goes off you know you're finished. I bought it because- yes my kids begged me... well, they used it once...they hate it!
And-- any updates on 'the ass grabber & the child'? Was wondering whats going on there...

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Julie Wee: I know exactly which bottle you speak of, we considered that and I did attempt to try it (another coupon) only eventually the lite stops working with a half full bottle..
Now it works as an extra cap. :)

Asshatgrabber? Interesting you bring that up now...
Will have to fill you in 'offline' cellular way. :)

E~

Tink said...

I've been wanting to pick that stuff up for Hoop and I forever! Lol. Can you imagine us to goobers at the sink, checking out each others cafeterias? ;)

Tink said...

Ooops. Two, not to.

JLee said...

hahaha..how cute is that??
If only adults could have everything so fun and colorful. lol
I'm just pissed I had to pay $55 for my daughter's last fluoride rinse. For a damn mouthful of blue liquid??

fiwa said...

Remember when they tried to market green ketchup?

I'll never forget the time my nieces came to visit and acted like I had tried to poison them because I gave them regular toothpaste to use instead of princess bubble gum toothpaste! Good lord!