Like many products now days there are ones that as a parent I am just absolutely in love with, and then there are ones that fall into these following categories: "Nah, but okay maybe, I could take it or leave it but am not sure I like it so much," followed by the category "I will never ever purchase this whatsoever because it's a waste of my money-BAH!"
Having 'mind categories'** to filter through the products on today's shelves, is a wonderful thing for me, it goes well with my overall quirky disposition. Let me tell you how handy mind categories are when it involves children's products, however many there are out there.
Placed on the list of never going to waste my money, is the children's Listerine version which when spitting out the swooshes, displays colorful (either pink or green based on your flavor and colored bottle of choice) bacteria so that children may actually see the yuckies in pink or green, slowly oozing down towards the drain of their bathroom sink, caked and clotted together like a bad episode of beets meet green beans. Okay, not that much, but fairly close based on how well they brush prior to the fluoride rinse. Because the point is, this mouth wash helps remove particles that they may have missed when brushing. NEWSFLASH: all rinses do the exact same thing, they're just not as much fun.
Don't you remember how disgusting fluoride was/is? They'd have them in those white small Dixie cups on a brown cafeteria type tray and if you weren't careful you would squish the weak white Dixie cups with your little kid classroom fingers. The fluoride was always very warm, very blah blue and without a doubt, someone would always complain about the smell, how much their stomach hurt afterwards, and perhaps the occasional barf on their yellow and tan colored metal and plastic seat and desk.
The dreaded fluoride treatments administered in your classroom at school. I HATED IT! That darn swish minute always seemed to last forever!! I swear to this day the ones that were watching the time (usually room moms of the kids that thought they were the teacher's pet) always seemed like they were out to get everyone else, and I am convinced they extended the time a couple of seconds past the 60second mark. Paranoid? Well naturally yes! Especially if it has to do with me being in 7Th grade gurgling and swirling and swishing and foaming and leaking out of the sides of my tightly closed mouth, from those dreaded fluoride treatments. Have I mentioned how much I hated doing those things in school?
So, back to this Listerine kids product that is now out on the shelves. I swore I wouldn't waste my money and buy it. I swore that I would administer the treatment for Jackson (because you should be beyond the age of 5 or check with your dentist) with the usual -although kid friendly- colorless and fun-less over the counter boring products of today.
Until I got the "TRY ME FREE" coupon!! So I picked up the product at our local Target with my "TRY ME FREE" coupon. I can't tell you how excited Jackson and Sullivan were to see that product sitting on the counter of their duck themed decorated bathroom. I mean, ever since they first saw the product on commercials (in between JUSTICE LEAGUE and TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND and other ones that go way back) they would grab my attention and act as if they just witnessed a candy bar flying through our TV and landing in their laps.
"MOM, we have to get that, it shows us our germs!"
"MOMmm, we can see what we didn't brush because it's in color!"
"Mom, it's at a store near us!!"
"Mom it's friendly for kids!"
Those were the typical comments each and every time the Listerine commercial aired itself on TV. My boys could be in the midst of building Lego's on the table in front of the TV and the moment that commercial turned on, they were transfixed on viewing the amazing scientific way that a child could actually see the dirty crap leftover in their mouth. As amazing as it seemed, as tempting as it sounded, I wouldn't buy it. Mainly because I see their leftover food particles all the time in their backwashed meal cups so if they want science, they should glance into that badboy.
No matter what method's they tried, I still wouldn't switch from the stuff they (Jack) already had, until I had the golden ticket of the free coupon.
Why not give it a try, right?
So they did, and I did get permission from their dentist (THE SAUNTERING FRANK) for Sullivan to try it as well, only in a a smaller amount. They are in love with it! Absolutely in love with this product! They want to do it everyday, although according to my dentist it's best to do the garbage spit and view swish every other day. Fine by me! The more they loved it, the more I cursed it. I don't know why, so don't ask, it just bugged me that they were sucked into the marketing gimmick of clean fresh teeth. I told you, quirky disposition, remember?
Every other day you'll find us up in our ducky themed bathroom, their two heads over the sink, pink colored swish oozing out of the side of their mouth, bubbles foaming and the sound of their young mouth's swishing away in excitement over what will be occurring in less then 30seconds, 29, 28, 27, 26, 25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,...
...Because naturally I am there counting out loud for them, being their time clock for the countdown to bacteria land, and because I didn't want to be cruel to you and count down from 60, I started at 30. Oh and this was my attempt at being dramatic and detailed as much as possible.
So they're swishing, and I am about to reach the golden number of 1. Almost immediately the two of them lean over and spit out pink colored mouth saliva mixture (reminds me of pink/red PEZ Easter color tablets) and express in excitement what they're viewing, oozing into the drain of the sink:
JACKSON: "Solly, look at all my bacteria!"
SULLIVAN: "Wohhh, hey Jack look, I HAVE ALOT OF CAFETERIA IN MINE-duh*** TOO!"
Seriously, I must be on a Sullivan phrase roll, either that or he's the one that's on a word roll, either way, rest assured, because of that comment alone, I am now a HUGE ADVOCATE for that colored swirly green or pink option Listerine Children's wash.
All because he said cafeteria.
***Yes, when he says the word, MINE, he ends the word with a D sound.***
*This is not a paid endorsement from Listerine, nor am I being compensated in any way because of the mention of their product-it's free marketing for them, the best type!*