Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Change Please?

Things are going "okay" with Benjamin. Things were going fantastic up until today. Today he's had a fever that hasn't gone down even with Tylenol. So after a chat with his ENT, the antibiotic prescription is being changed to a heavier type of antibiotic. Poor Ben, he was up quite a bit last night, as well as the night before.
Oh well, we're used to it by now.
Change Please?

Speaking of change, do you remember when you needed to have spare change to call someone if you were out and about? I'm talking about payphones.

Remember when you had to stand in line at the airport to use a payphone? (Those always had extra dimes in the return change slot.) Or anywhere for that matter that would involve standing in line to use a payphone? When your after school activities would end you'd wait for ages to use the "clean phone."

Or when you were a young one at a school event, say a 5th and 6th grade boys basketball game on a Friday night, and you and your friends would go mess with the payphone upstairs near the nurses station? When you could hit O and speak to an operator for free asking her for the phone number of Mr. Heph. E Balls?

Then the older ones around that era, the 21 and ups, I'm sure drunk dialing your boyfriend from a bar with a payphone was very popular back in the day prebriefcase cellphones.
Change Please?

Speaking of change and balls, my aunt and I were talking about our sons today and how they go through this transformation so to speak.
A rite of passage.
A Bar Mitzvah of language.

I'm referring to when they suddenly begin using words such as "nuts," "balls," "tenders," um and the ever so popular "wienies/wiener."

It happens all of a sudden whether you're the type of parent that attempts to shield that type of talk by teaching your sons at a young age that their penis is referred to as a "tool," or "privates," "private parts," "unspeakballs" -heh, had to throw that one in.-

No matter what we teach our boys to refer to their anatomy, it doesn't change the fact that eventually you'll hear something uttered out of their young mouths that go against the name you've used for "it." "It," that's another one parents have actually used to identify the boys body parts. "Don't forget to wash "it." "Don't forget to wipe underneath "it."

I've always been open about the penis. Nice, guys! Not that way, but being open in referring to Jack, Sully's and Ben's anatomy as their penis and scrotum, how we refer to it in language. It doesn't matter though. Even though I've been PC about it, and with them, it still doesn't change the fact that they utter "nuts," and "balls." I probably have said penis or scrotum more then I've said the word, McDonald's in their young life time, yet, it still doesn't change the fact that they have to, eventually, morph their ltender toddler boyish language.

The funny thing is the general reaction from the higher tribe, the Alpha male: the dad, the Grandpa, the Uncle, you name it, when one of those that have "been through it all" hears those tongue in cheek (SHUT UP!) words, they puff up with pride. They might as well stick a cigar in the young boys mouth. Hence the Bar Mitzvah. While their at it why not buy them a hooker or escort for the night? It's as if they've been waiting for them to have the "change" and when they do, just like a tribe of werewolf elders would react when one of the young boys begin the change at the first moon after the eclipse, it's full of pride and hidden admiration. It's as if they're part of the "club now." You're not with it until you utter balls, wieners or nuts.

Women wait for "the change" their entire life and it's not a pleasant thing, after all why would menopause be anything pleasant?***)

My Aunt experienced the change last week when, while sitting at her desk, her 7 1/2 year old son, made mention about some boy in the school yard getting "HIT IN THE BALLS!" When my Uncle heard him utter the word, 'balls', he immediately said, "SON, NOT IN FRONT OF YOUR MOTHER!" My cousin turned to his dad and explained, "but dad, it was his balls!"
Change please?

I miss you all.

(I'm very much into the TWILIGHT SERIES RIGHT NOW! HOOKED ACTUALLY, so if you're wondering where the werewolf reference came from, there you have it.)


Kathy said...

Keep us posted on Ben's recovery.
We always called anatomy by their 'given' names. One time, our then two year old, Michael said to my mom, "Nonny, my mommy has a vulva." She said, "No she doesn't, she has a Mercury." I said, "That's not what he means, Mom." To which she replied, "OH, MY GOD!" Why do you teach him these things!!" Change please:).


NOw that is absolutely hilarious! Better then Sully's view of "China." :)

I will definitely keep you posted--wall is a wonderful thing, isn't it?
Thank you again Kathy for your kind words!!

Kstro said...

OK you guys are both hilarious! Kathy, I just read your comment out loud to my husband as I was laughing out loud on the couch upon reading it. thinking about you and Ben...poor baby. Hopefully he'll get over the hump soon. We haven't had to address the privates thing yet as everything is collectively called "the bum" in our house. I'm sure that will change soon enough.
Thanks for the laughs cuz!

Cheryl said...

I wonder what Emily calls 'her's'? I always used the proper words. Reminds me about being so PC about the TV. It was PBS or nothing. As soon as she got older it was all MTV and boy do they have trashy shows and videos. It's been downhill since then. So much for my trying to shield her.

I read your wall and see Ben's fever is up. Man, you guys need a break! And sleep.

Kelly Jene said...

I LOVED the Twilight series. To be honest and slightly pathetic, I closed the fourth book and picked up the first and read it all over again. lol.. can't help myself.

You were quite intuitive with me today, it's been hard. A gal I know is pregnant and she posted pics of her ultrasound. She is as far along as I was when I lost my baby and I've just been aching all day, tears and all. I can't seem to help it. It hurts.

I love you.

Waterfalls and prayers for your baby...

Anonymous said...

Like everyone else I am hoping for a speedy recovery for little Ben.

I wrote a post not all that long ago entitled "What do you call your bits?" It got some interesting responses.

You can only teach kids so much...the rest of their education they get from their friends, school, life...what's a parent to do?

My daughters are obsessed with Twilight and are on their third go round with all four books. I'm trying to wrangle them off of them so I can see what all the fuss is about.

happyone said...

Sorry to hear about Ben's fever - add my thoughts and prayers for a speedy recovery too.
I always used the correct words with my kids also.
Kathy's comment cracked me up!!! :-)
I'm going to have to check out the Twilight series. I can't pass up a good book.

Real Live Lesbian said...

LMAO @ Kathy. I have a Toyota.

Susan's Snippets said...

CB - Thanks for the update on Ben. As far as boys and their inability to think about much other than their junk...when my son was little I overheard him singing "Save big money at MY NARDS!"....

cute, real cute...I can assure you he didn't learn that from me.

poop and pee


bits, junk and nards!! NICE!! I forgot about those words. I think Kathy's story wins here though. My oh my.

What Cheryl said is so true, no matter what we try to shield them from, if they want to seek it they will and if you tell them no, they may just try to sneak it.

twilight series is incredible. I am not ashamed to admit it's set at a TEEN THEME although I don't think it's at a teen level, unless you refer to a teen as a freshmen or sophomore in hs. The growth this woman goes through, the biblical references, the way the author writes is amazing. My emotions are physically felt (especially in book 2) and I wish there were more of bella and her love.....s. I'm starting breaking dawn tonight. But I don't want to because I don't want them to end. I can't put them down either. Finished one in two days and was so bummed when I was done.

:) E
Ben's fever is up and down today. As of 8pm it was only 100.6 I'm thinking tomorrow should make a difference having had the newer antibotic in his system for 24hours.

Well, I'm off to work on jack's school year book. Yes, I am a part of the yearbook committee.



P.s. Cuz=sbux! sweeper. miss you.

austere said...


heh. Dont even ask abt the Indian version. And we have about 52 languages, thank you.

Good to hear from you, Crusty.

A hug for the little one.

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