Saturday, February 21, 2009


Remember when life was easy?
When things were bright and colorful with cookies that your mom would bake ? Or when you'd wake up as a little child and you would believe that the scary monster was back again under your pillow? The never ending happy ending Girl stuck on the railroad tracks that had to be rescued before the train reached her tightly wound up body?

When Friday nights could be a trip on an eastbound road out of your town. A road that on a sunny day, as you approached the descent, you could see the Sears Tower painted in the background of the horizon that held the sunset. It appeared as though the crest of that building was molded into the colors of the sunset glow. There you were with your family heading to a place off of route 83 with glimmering lights, overlooking the curvy course that held smells of burnt rubber, gasoline and sounds of revving Go-karts.

Your parents would pull into the parking lot in their wood grain station wagon that had the reverse way back seat. They'd pull into the parking lot that didn't charge to hold your car on the gravel sand dusted parking lot. Your siblings and you always hoping and praying that tonight would be the night that they got to ride the course alone. That you wouldn't need Dad seated behind you anymore, his long 6foot and more frame carrying you and the Go-Kart around the track. The moment when you were old enough to drive that kart solo. The feeling of control and independence that first time you were alone behind the wheel. The sounds, the feel of the worn out steering wheel underneath your gripped grasp, the entire rush of it all. The rush that ran through you as you released the pedal. It was you in control of the pedals, it was just you in control of your life on the track. Your long chestnut hair blowing back roughly behind you as you made that first turn on the track.

Secretly hoping that your mom would be watching you, impressed, as she sat behind the fence near your baby sister old enough to be in nothing but a stroller. Or perhaps that your dad would see you as he took the third turn in the course, and maybe by how well you were doing, they might just open up your life to more freedom. A reward of more independence. That and approval. Approval and more freedom.

Yet in the same breathe hoping to fly past your dad in your Go-Kart. Showing him a new move. Showing him that your way was the better way, or at least hoping that he'd see that and later admit it to you. Amazing how much growth you can experience from a 7minute solo trip around a go-kart track on a hazy humid summers eve. A strange mix of emotions in a matter of 7 minutes.

When the lights of life weren't so detailed. Thinking back to childhood, it was so much more cut and dry. Black and white.Yet later on, you were suddenly on a court of life that would ping you back to reality, and at most times, your opponents were your parents. You as a teenager trying so hard to get one past them. Typical teenager thoughts.

When you thought that first grade was scary as you walked the halls as a kindergartner. That seemed to be the case throughout the entire school process. Each grade above you seemed so far off, nearly impossible to reach. Then before you knew it you were graduating from the game of school. High school.

Reflecting back at the years and finally getting that although it was a challenge, that it was tough, that you didn't understand your parents rules, that you didn't want to, it was manageable in time. Even the scary moments, and all those damn obstacles from the past school years that got in your way or hurt you, it was all in the past. Although at the moment when you were in the room of pain, the hurt seemed impossible to overcome.

How could you ever get to that next level? How could you comprehend that time makes things better? How could you see beyond the ridicule that the fabulous five would inflict on you because you didn't have boobies? How? When there was that crew of 'certain girl's' that preyed on your insecurities and drew you further away from knowing yourself, further away from liking who you are, for that matter?

It's sad because once you were beyond those moments you realized that it wasn't always "their fault." You allowed them to run you. To control your emotions and actions. You understood at the finish line how much time did make a difference and yet how much time you wasted on people that didn't have a clue on how to treat people.

But you made it. You did. Yes it wasn't always a walk in the park. It wasn't always easy. You faced disagreements when you thought you were right and your parents were wrong. You grew frustrated and combative when you'd lose. You had curfews that you'd challenge. You might have walked the old road of comparisons. Comparisons on weight, intelligence, acceptance, money, cars, homes, clothes, you name it. We all understand that saying, "keeping up with the Joneses," imagine that saying in a mind that had yet to blend together the emotions of childhood with the growth beyond teenagers. When the merger was completed. When you understood what guilt meant when you later on became parents some day.

Throughout your K-12 life, you had different friendships throughout that time, some remained loyal, others drifted as each of you grew and changed as the wind blew you both towards what your choices would be in the future. You learned how much your heart aches, and how for some, that it's not just a 'get over it' attitude with break ups. You learned about rumors and how much they can hurt people. You used to think to yourself while in elementary school, that once you grew up, your feelings of insecurity brought on from those fab5's wouldn't be there anymore. That those types of people wouldn't exist.

You learned at the finish line of grade twelve that they still did exist except now you had a better idea on how to manage your reaction to their actions. Later on when you grew up some more and became a twenty something, you learned that those groups still existed in the world and they were still as cruel and caddy. But it didn't matter as much. It didn't hurt. Because you mattered more to yourself the before. Even if you didn't have a big mouth about it, silently inside your mind, you mattered to yourself.

At moments through that time of K-12, you wanted to give up, give in, follow, be led, you didn't want to deal with the dramas, to play the rule cards anymore. People forget about the frustration of how challenging life can be growing up. Not wanted to be around the things that were tough to get over. Not just because of the grade level squares, but because of the obstacles that got in the way of learning at each new grade. Social situations, boyfriends, girlfriends, parents. For some it was Math. For some English. For some science. For some PE. For some fitting in. For some developing too early. For some developing too late. For some their parents. For some experiencing Life's obstacles way too soon for their capacity and age.

But you did eventually make it to the top-the finish line. Now, it didn't seem that hard anymore, well, now that you were looking back. More that same feeling of raw mixed emotions as the memories of your past flashed behind your eyes. You suddenly were the Q-Bert of your own life. With boobs.

The unknown road beyond High school. Whether work or College. You were on a different path. A straight path it seemed. Although now there were more worries about how much you could manage. How much you could afford. Did you have enough money for gas to fill your 4cylinder Oldsmobile Sedan? Or, would you chance not getting gas and instead use the money to go out with your college friends, or coworkers instead.

Flash forward to NOW. Now when you're married with three sons. Now when your life has taken on an entirely new meaning. Something different at each clearing. Each new canvas of stages still in a similar background although the actual task, the actual change that you were experiencing, seems to become more intense from the one that you swung over from the past.

Take tonight for example. Here in our house I was challenged in a different way. In a way that I should have seen coming, but because I have been so engrossed with so many other things, I neglected to remember this very important past lesson that I myself experienced with pain medicine.


I forgot that pain medication slows your intestinal tract. Let this be a lesson to all of you that have never swallowed pain pills, or never had to give pain medicine to your children. It will stop up the poop, and believe me you won't be able to grasp the boa back up that will come rolling out of that tiny bum after a few days without a BM.

This past experience that, like a video game I now have to begin again, because I forgot about the tiny details on pain meds and poop, This isn't just about constipation. Well, it is, but in a different way.

Tonight I had to administer an enema up Ben's bum because the log was so backed up, not even Frogger would have been able to hop on it in time. I've never had to do that before. Oddly, just the other day Ben was constipated for the first time ever and although it was a tough go around, after some time of tears, it did drop out.

Tonight was entirely different. So much worse, that we had to give him an enema to soften his, know. Let this be a lesson to anyone. Especially parents! Remember if your child is being given pain meds, anticipate slowed backed up poop. Be prepared.

Don't wait until your little one is sobbing with red cheeks heating the side of your face, his nostrils flared out so wide it'd impress a dragon. His 29-1/2 pound body sitting hunched over on the toilet, his tiny legs and feet barely reaching his little blue and green foot stool. His body leaned into yours, his arms wrapped around you, his hands grasping your sweater as you kneel crouched on the balls of your feet trying to be a Lamaze coach to your scared child.

Don't wait until you have to hold him like that for more then 20minutes while your helpful partner runs out to the pharmacy to find the FLEET Products.
While you're trying to calm him by yelling at his poop and saying how "mad you are at his poop for not coming out."

Trying any new idea that comes across your brain.

Ideas that they don't prepare you for from the past youthful nights of Go-karting and growth, graduation and becoming an adult. No, there's nothing to prepare you for it unless you listen to this post and store it in your head and prior to your child having surgery you have on hand any form of relief that will prevent this from happening to your little one.

I don't know about you but constipation sucks. Imagine trying to explain that to a 2 year old.

These are just the Pitfall moments of life in my world.

What's going on with yours? Have you rescued yourself from the evil monster lurking under your pillow yet? Have you grown up and stopped arguing with your parents? Trying to prove them right? Have you realized that you should use your gas money for gas money and not on a night out of $1 drinks on a Wednesday night? If not I'd advise you to use it on gas money, because chances are you'll end up having your car towed. I know this because it happened to me.

Just the Pitfalls of life. Again, I ask you, what are yours? What is your newest experience that you didn't see coming. I hope for your case it wasn't administering an enema. But I guess the positive of this experience is one less thing to be nervous about during practicals someday in nursing school.

Ah yes, another graphically enhanced future to look forward to.
Bring it on PAC-MAN!


Cheryl said...

I can't tell about the latest thing that I didn't see coming. Not here.

As a child my mom sat on the edge of the bathtub holding me as I cried many times with the same problem that Ben has. I remember that. And it wasn't because of surgery.

And I had surgery 3 years ago and really needed the pain meds and I knew the side effects and thought I was prepared, but nothing helped that and I needed to stop the meds and it was terrible.

You'd think they'd come up with pain meds that didn't have this side effect.

The Window Watcher said...

This blog could be one of my fav's. I LOVED the Video Game references. Ah river Raid...remember playing that in some neighbor girl's family room, when we were allowed in.
As for Ben...I hope he feels better. And I hope you feel better while caring for your family.


Cheryl:I'm so sorry about what's going on with Em. I wish (and I've told this to Soul 2) that we lived close so you could send her here for the day for a reality of life. :) I'm thinking of you. :)

TEx: This summer-ON! Sul is already aware of the ghost in the graveyard flashlight nite..maybe we'll go inside to watch Indiana Jones too. lol. Hope you're not too tired today. Might need to do more shoveling. As if we haven't done enough already all year. GRRR

Kathy said...

Things will get better. Hang in there.


Thanks Kathy!! :)

Martha said...

I want to answer the "pitfalls of life" question, but I'm afraid my comment would be too long. I may, however, turn it into a blog post of my own with a link back to yours. Your poor little guy--it just seems like there should be something better and easier to help the process along. Hope he's doing okay now.

Linda S. Socha said...

Crustybeef....not only do you come across and a connecting loving mother..( Your little one is blessed to have you)I love your writing style...What a fantastic post.....right there with you...for me it has been a few years!

Stop by for a visit at Psyche Connections when you are in the neighborhood...Tea is on.....cheese and crackers most any time

I enjoy exchanging following blog links because it feels connected and helps me not forget people I want to remember. Let me know if you have an interest


Martha, Feel free to make it a pitfall post. :) I love your new hair cut by the way. I keep forgetting to tell you!!


He's better!! no more fever as of yesterday. F.I.N.A.L.L.Y!

I can see brian and I close to winning this game, like Mario and Luigi :)



Thank you for your comment, it was very nice of you. You are more then welcome to link me, and when life slows down, I'll be by for some cheese, please! HOpe your pitfalls are okay too!!

Thank you for stopping by, and again, welcome!

happyone said...

As always I am so impressed with your writing. You should write a book.

Can't say as I've ever had that problem with my kids.

Anonymous said...

Ben is very lucky to have you!!!! we all are. Poor guy but once the fleet took action all i have to say in "holy sh$%!! lol..awww we have had so many pit falls and we have always climbed our way out. A great team we make!! I agree with window, this was one of your better posts....


Brad said...

You've got me smiling through tears here. I don't know who to feel sorryier (?) for. Poor little guy.

Palm Springs Savant said...

I don't know, I just miss the simple days of sitting on the porch with the little ones and playing with bugs and blades of grass...

Anonymous said...

Poor ben!! I know all of you guys (brother and sisters) remember my days on the toilet crying. Our brothers still make fun of me. I'm just glad he finally is feeling better. He is such a brave little guy.

And I remember getting excited just to GO on the go-kart even riding with mom and dad :)


Diane Vogel Ferri said...

You're the only person I know who can get philosophical about constipation - better days ahead, dear Elizabeth,

Kelly Jene said...

Poor sweet baby! I have dealt with baby constipation. My Darik was in the hospital with it when he was around 1 1/2. Broke. My. Heart. It is a helpless feeling.

I loved the graphics. I loved the look back. So glad I am where I am now.

I love you.


Happy One; you are very sweet. I'm humbled, obnoxious, but humbled. Thank you. :)



anf bdd 36OMG! :)
Thank YOU. You were the one that got the right stuff. If it were up to me, I'd still have those surgical gloves on and some vasoline.
ANFsm. :)


Brad- hmm, I would say, pick Ben to feel bad for. At least I knew what was going on "in there." He had no clue.

how to poo.


PSS: When summer comes before you head to RI, you're welcome to stop over..I'd be happy to offer you plenty of blades of grass, teach you how to make music with those blades of grass, and have Bdd's and my three sons give you a show on bugs. :)

Pass along some of the warmth out there, please?


Dern's: Interestingly enough, that was the EXACT Thought that was running through my mind inbetween the other ones during that doodie drama. It came back to me again when I was writing this post only I still think it was wrong (NOW of course) for them to tease would they like it if you had teased them about something 'close and "tender" to them?'
Love saturday!


Diana; LOL! It must go back to how I prefer to Co-Exist and balance life out. Either that or I am so tired that even my former creative writing teacher back in HS could pull me out of this poopie post. :)


Lylas: what was your favorite atari game? Simplier times wasn't always so simplier were they? I keep meaning to tell you I'm glad things are shifting for you.
Keep thinking of waterfalls and I'm glad you're where you're at. The road behind you has always got your back for the present tomorrow. :)