NOT ME MONDAYS -MY VERY FIRST ONE

It's a cute idea that I hijacked/borrowed/involved/played along with..
From our darling MckMama's blog! You know her, she has the sweetest family and her little Stellan is a wonderful miracle of a little boy. Not to mention precious.

So Not Me Monday's is when you twist around the truth. For example, if I slept in on Sunday and didn't go to church, then you'll see it as: I did not sleep in on Sunday and miss a wonderful service at church.

Make sense?

You know, I'd really like to see some of your "not Me's," will you please play along? To understand how it works, the right way, please visit Mckmama's site, and read up on NOT ME MONDAYS!

Now, if I may, here are my Not Me's:

1. I most certainly did Not grab a clean tee shirt out of the laundry basket to clean up after the coffee that I suddenly did not spill all over my other sons homework folder.

2. I most certainly did not grab his favorite Star Wars shirt in a panic to use to clean up the mess of coffee all over the counter that I did not spill while trying to grab my cell phone because I did not plan on texting my girlfriend to turn on the radio to listen to a song that we did not just dance to at a bar, this past weekend.

3. I did not go out with about 25 moms from Jackson's school for a girls night out in a town called Naperville. And I most certainly did not dance to the old song, "baby got back" when the DJ played it.

4. I definitely did not dance up on a block shaking my pancake ass alongside another very boring mom, like myself.

5. My girlfriends and I did not make the cab driver go out of his way and stop at taco bell while driving us home, this past Saturday night.

6. I did not use the excuse of, "well, if I have a few drinks the alcohol will assist with thinning my blood, which in turn will help reduce my really nasty Pam flow.

7. The ladies and I did not discuss "pre-sex," nor anything that relates to our boobs, sex life, size and favorite times to engage in it."

8. We definitely did not all dance in a circle with our purses thrown into the middle like a camp bonfire.

9. We did not scream and hoot and raise our hands to the roof and pretend it was us the DJ was talking about whenever he would give a shout out pertaining to someones 21st birthday, bachelorette party.."

10. I did not lie and tell an old guy friend that the reason we couldn't attend his wedding was because we were going to be out of town at the time. I most certainly told him the truth that the reason we wouldn't be able to attend was because he was making a huge mistake, his fiance is a selfish rude materialistic broad, and he's just getting married for the sake of getting married and not because he truly loves her. But because he loves the idea of a marriage and he's the only one out of his friends not married and he's afraid that he's never going to marry being 37 years old.

11. I did Not use my family's name, and contact the hospital to request a decent surgery time for this Wednesday. Nope and I most certainly did not chat with my aunt in surgery scheduling, either.

12. I did not tell Jackson that the reason he had to have hot lunch because we were out of lunchmeat when really it was because I was too lazy to make his lunch this morning.

13. I did not have horrible gas yesterday and I did not blame it on the dog.

14. I did not freak Benjamin out because he wasn't listening when I was asking him to go inside after taking Jackson to school by telling him, "there's a squirrel climbing down the tree that you're standing next to."

15. I did not enjoy doing Not Me Mondays for the very first time.

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