Sunday, February 06, 2011


...."I'd Love To Be A Fly On The Wall..." Your Home...,"
is what my sister said to me last night as we were driving home from a girls night out. This girls night was Mom, our other sister, and one really amazing sister in law. Or, one we would hope !!!!!!!!!will be our sister in law, someday.

My sister made that comment as we were discussing life inside our own homes, with our husbands and kids.

She said that everyone one of us in our own family has it's uniqueness, and I chimed in, "we all have something that someone else would call, 'jacked up.'

When I say "Jacked up," I'm talking about ways we parent, what we believe in, what we feel our religion means, or how we drive a car or kiss our forevers'. There are many other situations that could earn you the jacked up award, but there are just far too many categories to list. Besides that's NOT the point.

The way it came up is that my sister and I were exchanging silly stories of things that have recently unfolded within each of our homes.
With our own spouses and children.

I tried to defend myself by saying that I could say the same for her household. After all, her lunches ALWAYS taste better then the ones I make at home, and we make the same thing, but she was stubborn on this and said that it seems that things within my home are "more fun."

I definitely wouldn't go that far, and this is where the jacked up meaning comes in, but no matter what I said, she is convinced that the walls in my home would be far more interesting and fun for a fly to hang out on, then in her home or the rest of the people in our family.

It's a compliment, actually. That's exactly how I took it, and it made me laugh.
If you're more from the creature of the Negative Nellie, you would probably take it the wrong way. You may see it as a slam about how you parent, what your husband or wife or children are like, and how you decorate pie. You would think someone was slamming your quirks.  Get over yourself! Laugh about it!

You see, I am more then willing to admit that I am a raging goofball, a silly mom and one that has happily said I'm not a big fan of sleep deprivation with my newborns. I figure it's far better to laugh at myself, then it is to not laugh at yourself. 

There have been many sillies that have occurred within my home with my sons, spouse and wonder pooch.

Take for example my obsession of toilet seats.
It has nothing to do with my love of plumbing, or the fact that I'd much rather clean a bathroom, on hands and knees, then have to iron 3 blouses.

It has to do with the fact that we have three sons.

Some of you that have been around for 3plus years already know that.

You also know the way my mind processes things.
The way I jump ahead in thought, about whether or not my sons will be embarrassed when they have their first teenage special dream.

For anyone that is fairly freshmen here, it's not unusual for my brain to think up things like laundry, and as just mentioned, the laundered teenage dream.

**note to self, include an extra prayer tonight to G-d thanking him for not giving us a daughter, because I cannot imagine what I'd have done to her, with my silly ways**

You see, growing up with two sisters, two brothers, a Dad that prefers quiet time, and a very sacrificing Mom, well, pee breaks were rushed.

It usually seemed that just before I had to pee, one of my brothers would also have to go, and always make it to the door before me. I have to give them kudos though, as they didn't leave my bladder waiting for too long, but it balanced out because I'd sit down on a wet seat, almost every time.

I wonder if they meant to do that? The seat wasn't always wet, sometimes they gave me a break from it and just left the seat up all together.

I'd end up toi-bowling my ass.

All those years of the wet seat, and I grow up preferring to clean a toilet and bathroom over anything else.
Go figure.

Sadly, my three sons have to suffer at the hands of their Uncles.
Should my little guys either;
A) make a mess anywhere but inside the toilet seat
B) Leave the seat up
C) not put the lid down
D) All of the above

What happens is that I require them to clean up after their lazy urine stream mess. I'm trying to teach them how to take things slow, take their time and not Auto Correct themselves through their pee breaks. With everything so rushed rushed and instant today, the best way to help teach patience, is to make a boy scan the toilet seat after he's down using the bathroom. He makes the mess, he must clean it up.

I grew up the oldest of five kids, and for a very long time, we had one bathroom in our home.
It worked.
None of us have irregular urine flows, as far as I know.

I can't remember it in the same way my Mom or Dad must, but the same will be for our three sons.
They'll remember Mom being a freak when it came to their seat, but I'll remember wet cheeks and sticky seats.

I think perhaps that's why my sister made that comment, about being a fly on the wall.
Because I have a very unique way of parenting, in certain aspects of our childrens developments.

I've written about some of these things, in previous posts, but when she made that comment, as she has in other conversations, it made me smile and love my sons even more for trying so hard.

So you know, for one, I will not damage my children in anyway that is neglectful, abusive or cruel. I will, however, do what I can to teach them how simple life can be to care for themselves, to be confident and not embarrassed about themselves, and most importantly, how to love. (and how to aim and pee)

If that means I have three more years at inconsistent saran wrapping their toilet, so be it.
I wonder if eventually they'll learn what it feels like to give their tushie a pee pond?
They will.
I have no doubt.
After all, their Daddy's Mom, and I'm sure many other silly Mommies, did a wonderful job teaching their sons to be the same way.
The trick is to keep the habit from staying within their parents home.

I do believe my sons will do just fine.
In our Home and someday, in their own.

Do you still want that offer to be a fly on the wall? If this hasn't backed up my sister's compliment, just seek out my husband, sons or our wonder dog, Marina, they'll back her up.

****how could my boys possibly get a butt pond when peeing? If they make a mess on the seat, and/or fail to the seat down afterwards, well, what's worse?

peeing sitting down?
Or ironing your peed on pants?

Dedicated to all the women of the world, that wish for that one week without pee on their toilet seat.


Cheryl said...

I was talking to my boss recently about guys leaving pee on the rim. He was a single father to 3 sons and told me he taught them all to always pee sitting down, and that's how he does it too. Verrry interesting, huh? He says guys pay no attention when they're peeing and standing...pee goes everywhere. I'm glad I live in a girl house.

Happyone :-) said...

My son was very good about peeing in the bowl. Very rarely did he miss.
It's the funny and silly things that the kids remember. Makes for happy memories.

Anonymous said...

Hi Crusty!

I'm sorry I have not been around for AGES! Work and having babies does that as you know. My son is now 9mos old and I am hoping to be an F/T Mother and P/T Writer from home. Therefore, I'm dropping all my aliases and just blogging under my real name now. I had issues I needed to let go of (like being stalked for 18 month in my 20's and always fearing he would find me again.) I hope you will come visit me at my new and final blog.

Melanie (aka Proxima Blue, aka Nimh)