Wednesday, April 13, 2011


Yes, it's like that.
You're behind an SUV that has regular "normal person plates," but is clearly part of something else. You see it when the glare of the sun setting hits the back window of his SUV just right to see the outline of lights.
Well, that and the big bold letters on the back of the SUV window, "EMERGENCY RESPONSE MANAGER."

You see kids in his vehicle and he's clearly not on duty. I don't know if this particular role is a citizen emergency response team sort of thing, but what I do know is that when you promote yourself, or your role, make sure to not give anyone a reason to be concerned.

So when he fails to turn his left turn signal on, even when he was at the "fault line," it makes me wonder. Or when he suddenly, at the next light, accelerates and has not even approached that same white fault line we are "supposed to remain behind" until we are given the green light. When the green light goes to yellow and you witness this Rooster go through the intersection well after the yellow light changed, you might think to yourself, "either this guy is reckless, or perhaps he's "on duty," but doesn't put on his inside flashers.

Until you see the kids soccer goalie gloved hand appear "surfing" out the front seat passenger side of the SUV. Then you know that this joker, in his own vehicle, just spiffed up, and with a special role people of some team selected him to manage, is simply another poor example of Noronisms. It's one letter short of M, people. It's not that hard to decipher.

Or when you're a HS student, and you're at a local Supermarket with a bunch of your friends and you witness someone being handcuffed and arrested for shoplifting. The shoplifter is your fellow P.E teacher-busted for swiping running shoes.

Or the Drivers Education Teacher arrested for DUI.

These don't even DESERVE Darwin awards. NORON AWARDS!

The Pom Pom P.E. Teacher that is busted behind a local clothing store, engaging in sexual acts with a "consenting" 16year old boy, that is a student at the same High School.

The Fireman on his way to his shift, in his gear (not fully suited, naturally), texting while he's driving.

This one's a favorite of mine-personal experience the other day, matter of fact- A doctor that I had an appt with for the first time, ordered blood work. 4 vials, one stick. Cortisol. Prelactin, and two more hormone related blood orders. The convenient center is just two floors down, which I can take the orders with me, walk in and wait until I'm called by the Lab tech. Are you familiar with these particular helpful locations?  You know, the one that is helpful to you when you don't have an emergency but have more then just a sniffle, but they close at 6:00pm over the weekends, and 8:00pm weekdays?
That one.

So you're called back by the Lab tech that looks over your orders. Mentions that cortisol blood draws require a fast. I mention that it isn't indicated on the order, so it must be okay. She mentions that she's never drawn any one's blood for cortisol checks after 10:00am (it was 11:30), and they always fast. I asked her if I could just do the other ones and come back for the Cortisol draw, after checking to find out with the Doctor whether I need to fast-she says, "well, she could, but then I'll be charged twice." At the same moment this white garment Dolli covered woman turns her head away from me, lifts up her left hand, and proceeds to sneeze into her left cupped hand which she had hovering just a few inches beyond her right arm's elbow.

What's worse? As she tries to tell me that I'll have to "pay for two pricks," (her words, not mine) and her services, and the facilities services, she gingerly and subconsciously glides her left cupped sneeze hand down her right white garment scrubbed sleeve.

That's right. She sneezed, and swiped.
While she's talking "pricks."

I don't think she even realized she did it, but my eyes saw it and I was shocked. My brain didn't want to process what I just saw. Mentally my mind was trying to come to terms with whether or not my eyes saw an exaggerated form of a sneeze, or a real sneeze and swipe.

All the while she's "debating" the orders of the Dr, and saying she's never drawn for Cortisol without a fast.
Now all that could be true. All those "rules" about not drawing a Cortisol read anytime after 10:00, without an 8hour fast could be true. But if my Doctor, who was two floors up, just gave me these written, and printed and reiterated verbally, orders, well, what am I supposed to do? "Be pricked twice and charged for it too?"

I found myself asking her if she could please contact my Doctor upstairs, to determine if that's what he wants. Btw, he's an endocrinologist, I think he's familiar with this part of the medical field. But, for whatever reason, I heard myself ask her if she could contact him.

She agreed.
She and her sneezed on and swiped arm and hand turned away from me, and approached the door, and in the same gentle manner that she displayed as she swiped sneeze snot on her medical Lab Scrubs, she slowly and gingerly turned the handle of the door, and left the room.

If my brain was a person, he'd have earned an award that day. I think for some reason, it knew that I needed time to process this. It knows any form of conflict takes me time to process. When the last icing was her boogies on the door handle, regardless of this center being "well acclaimed" and "awards abound," I knew I needed to leave. I took one of those latex gloves, and before (and after, matter of fact)  pulling it over my hand, I covered my hand like a gyne would doing an internal check, with 6pumps of Hand Sanitizer, and proceeded to MCSteamy my hand into the glove.  I then lathered a paper towel 7 pumps of Hand Sanitizer, and used that to open the door, with my one gloved hand.

Remember, she didn't pump once. I didn't realize that until I had had time to process this all. She didn't pump when I followed her into the room, when she was discussing two pricks vs one, when she sneezed, or any other of that time.

These are just a few of the things that I've actually been privy too, whether as a bystander, or a Newspaper reader.. It's sad. It's all disappointing. No matter how I think of it, it's just clearly disappointing.

It's easy for me to do something about it. It's easy for the Law to do something for the shoplifting teacher, the drunken Drivers Ed doc, or the Sexual Pom Pom Prowless.

But will it really change?
Will "two pricks," learn to pump?
I guess I can hope for that.

In the meantime, I did sort of get a laugh about the sneeze prick swipe snot lab tech experience. When I walked out of the back, solo, wearing one latex glove on, with my hand up like a surgeon ready to say, "ready?" was hysterical. What would I think if I was one of those people, sitting in the chair, waiting to be seen by a Doctor because my cold has gone sinus infection on me? Would I think it was a joke? I don't know. But one things for sure the look son the waiting room faces was definitely  a fast and easy thing to process, unlike "two pricks, snot and a Manager for the Disaster Response team, driving his kids home from soccer practice, like a Noron.

If only I could have been privvy to their thoughts. I bet it would have taken some of the frustration at that moment.

1 comment:

Golden To Silver Val said...

Just noticed you were posting again (I admit I'm not the most observant person on earth)...glad to see it. Hope all is good with you and yours. I have missed you. I will be back. Hugs.