Wednesday, July 18, 2007


What are your expectations when it comes to your children's birthday?

For those of you that don't already know, I have three young sons.

Ages 5 1/2, 3, and 1 years old.

When our first child turned one, it was an over the top party production. At the time we were living in Florida, (hurricanes, BLUHK! Canes football YEA!) and we arranged to have Jackson's first birthday held up at my Mil's home (mother in laws). I had worked all night the night previously, and spent the entire day in "Mil's" kitchen. Prepping the food, drawing the WINNIE THE POOH POSTER autograph 11X16 Card. Did the party favors, got the punch ready.. It was a great affair. "Mil" even invited people that I'd never met over, to partake in Jackson's first birthday party.

Then, we flew to Chicago a few days later, and had another party there at a clubhouse in the community where my aunt lives. Again, more cake, more proper presentation on the appetizers, more party favors, more people.

I had calls all day, the day that Jackson turned one on November 14th 2002.


Thoughts first:

Typically in my opinion, the first two years of birthday celebrations are more for "rewarding the mom and dad."

AGE ONE: one year past that mom recalls the day of the delivery.
How the delivery occurred.
What she felt that day.
What her feelings were.
What she experienced.
How incredibly close she felt with her husband.
How spiritual and enlightening it was for her pain and all, that day one year ago.

She recalls the pain of the birth, and the instant reward when her child is put in her arms. She needs to be "rewarded" for that.
A year has past.
A year that has marked an entire new path for her.
Her first child.
Her first time experiencing parenthood.
She and Dad need to be acknowledged for their child being one.

After all, baby doesn't understand why the silver cordless phone is being held up to their ear and a rather repetitive sound is sent to babies ears. A 30sec tone that begins all over again, the moment that phone belts out their ring. Baby doesn't know what's going on. This is just a way that parents condition their child for parties to come.

Eventually by 3 they have it all figured out.
That this is for them.
That it's their presents.
Their candles.
Their day.
Their song.
Their phone calls and Birthday Happy's being sung. (CAUTION: age 3 will also think that the next time they hear the happy birthday song, it will be for them. They will also expect to be sung Happy birthday everyday for about three weeks after their 3rd birthday party.)

Age one? naah. Like I said, it's more about acknowledging to the parents that you're so glad that they've joined the parent club. This helps build the parents confidence as well, parents!
Simply because they recognize how many people around them, in their life, cares about them and their child. Cares to acknowledge the birthDAY! of their child and in doing so, that makes the parents feel better about their own abilities as mom and dad.

Do you remember how it felt not to be acknowledged for all your hard work on a company project? Or that term paper that you spent so much time preparing..that paper that you just knew was over the top, was just met with a dismissive nod?

Maybe I'm just thinking to far into things.

That's of no shock there. I over think everything. I read into everything. I over analyze everything, but I still think it's important to acknowledge baby birthday #1 with a simple call.

Present and One Day Past:
.Ben's birthday.-age 1-

Three phone calls.
One Visitor.
And lots of happy birthday comment wishes from the blogging world.

If you're not parents but you have a family member or a friend that is soon to be at that milestone of birthday #1, make sure you acknowledge.
A simple phone call.
A simple email.
Even an online greeting card.
Just don't forget to acknowledge that little one year old.
Don't forget them.

They may not be as over analytical as myself, but you will make them feel good-especially mom-when you take the time out of your busy day -no matter what-to acknowledge the birthday of the now one year old son. You will give mom a chance to reflect on that day 365 days ago. A day that for the first 2 years is typically more about the parents.

Welcome To Crustybeef~
Even if you think I'm insane, just remember to acknowledge. It's a simple act, that truly doesn't take much. Unless of course you have severe arthritis in your fingers, thus making it nearly impossible to bend your fingers and press buttons 7 or 11 times. Not including the FLASH or SEND button.

Gifts aren't required. They're not necessary whatsoever.
Just a simple phone call.


Anonymous said...

It always matter and it always will. Birthdays are so huge for kids and yoiu have done a great job of making sure each one feels special. you are a great great mommie...


Portia said...

i love how you explain these moments - having babies, having babies growing up, celebrating THE day. did make me realize though, that in all my gushing about the stories and pictures i didn't actually say CONGRATULATIONS!!!! to you, and to the birthday boy! you do both deserve it:):)

as always, thanks for sharing.

captain corky said...

Three boys... Just think of the possibilities! Cursty, I like insane, so if you are it's completly cool with me. ;)


Your kind comment yesterday was a perfect acknowledgement in itself.

Captain C: Three boys = three daughter in laws someday I'll always be just the "MIL."
Insane? me? yeah, especially being off the zoloft from post natal depression-wtheck was I thinking?

Thanks guys for your comments.
And to "anon"-thanks for the payday bar, you always bring a smile to my face!

austere said...

I dont buy the people are rushed line, all birthdays are imp and first bdays VERY IMP.
a little puzzled, but then that's the world, eh?


Believe me, austere...I agree with you. But sadly, it seems that the majority of people are just so "busy busy busy busy.."