Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Fantasy Round 33

Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!Cold Coffee and smokes, take me away......

  • Ran errands after we walked Jack to school at 1:00pm-surprised my mom with some coffee at her office.
  • Had a 2 year old over from 8:45am til 12:00pm today.(her mom has a kindergartener at Jack's school in the am-her son and mine get along very well. She was helping out the teacher today)
  • Picked up Jackson at 3:30pm and picked up his friend Jay(the older brother of the little guy we had over this morning) immediately after school. We came here to Crustyland for a playdate after school until a bit after 6:00pm tonight.
  • I still managed an afternoon post in between picking up Jack from school and after my errands. (While Sulli and Ben took a quick nap)
  • Bigdogg had his Fantasy Football draft this evening and will be home sometime tonight around Letterman time.

I am LOVING the peace and quiet..ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

It was interrupted though, on Fantasy draft round #32:

Earlier after the boys had their "swimming to the east" (a game we play) baths, I discovered we had zero pull ups.

Big deal, right? Uh yeah, unless you're in Crustyland.

I searched the house on a hide and seek mission to find a sole ranger of a pull up.

Nothing BUT!! Ben's diapers, ...
...and One Shiny Snoopy Woodstock ridden stage 5 diapers.


Sure, but not in CRUSTYLAND!

Sullivan during this round draft pick #32: (I'm screwing up the lingo, I know-pardon me, no disrespect to the football lovers out there-I used to be one of them, until I had children..:)..)

"I gotta go Pee-pee"-at 8:30pm when they should have been asleep.

"I gotta go Pee-pee" makes perfect sense-unless you're in Crustyland.

Because in Crustyland, "I gotta go pee-pee" is also entwined with your 3 year old holding the back of his bum.

'Well,' I think to myself, 'perhaps I could always duck tape the diaper together afterwards. You know,when I pull it off so he can sit down on his potty chair.' (remember, I'm potty training?)

Nope, couldn't find duck tape.

It wouldn't have matter, because as I delicately pulled apart Sully's lone ranger diaper, peeling away at those butterfly wing silky tabs, like football players that come crashing through the big white welcome GO TEAM! banner, "thingy," beautiful 3 year old turds rolled down and out of his lone ranger diaper, onto my WHITE shaggy Target bath room rug. The kind that appear like it'll be easy removal, you know, like cement? But, they're deceptive little "shits," they're not really harden guys, they smash easy.

And that they did on my white bath room rug. Sulli wasn't happy about it either.

It was quite a show-in my world, that is.

You know, in Crustyland?

No pull ups=lone ranger diaper=poop in pants=doing laundry from doodie stain rug at 8:30pm on a wednesday night=considering duck taping, or electrical taping two of Ben's stage 4 diapers together until Bigdogg gets home=remembering that we don't have duck tape, but didn't I see electrical tape somewhere??=crustyland.

Sure, Bigdogg may not be "suitable for driving" after walking home from the train from his draft tonight, but I can always go. I can't go now, I'm not about to wake up the kids (Ben)

BUT!! I'm onto my fantasy round # 33 (My favorite lucky number) Because I've found one of those toddler swimmee things for the pool, and will have that to hold me over until Bigdogg gets home. And, because I am able to relax and type this. I am so content right now, it ROCKS!

But all good things must come to an end, and it did tonight in fact.
It did with my son's Jackson and Sullivan:
Alas, along with losing our last diaper, Jackson and Sullivan also lost a prized possession tonight-their precious sleeping aids. All over misbehavior, which is a hilarious story that I will get into at a later date.

Right now, I'm going to head outside for a nice smoke, enjoy the night air, the town falling asleep, the creatures singing their lullabies, my late arriving neighbors that are so considerate they turn off their headlights when approaching theirs and our home in their vehicles. To not blind their headlights into our windows...

I love this area.

Welcome To Crustybeef~
Lilah Tov!!


Cheryl said...

Funny story! Especially the shiny poop on the white carpet. I could so visualize it.

You make me miss my smoking days!

SOUL: said...

hey.. i gave you MY lighter ! you can keep it if you give me coffee.
your night sounds simply divine. i swear.... my schleprock luck is contagious ! sorry. but your stories are fun.
i replied to your comments over at my place...finally.
well, oh ya... my hubby... who is henceforth "Soulman".. did that fantasy football thing too. hmmm. how very interesting.
hope you have a nice night tonight. sounds , well, not too bad so far.

austere said...


SOUL: said...

i'm smokin... you up yet?


cheryl: Shiny turdly poop-YUCK!!
Whatever you're doing, don't start smoking..such a nasty dirty habit..your daughter would freak out on you!! :)

Soul: Yeah, fantasy Football would be fun, if I didn't have kids, I'd look into doing it too..but oh well. Let him have his time over there, and I'm perfectly content to sit over here and chill in peace and calm quiet...

I'm UP, I'm UP I'm UP!!!
Are you?? :)

P.s. The Coffee is Very Hot today! Sip carefully please!!!

captain corky said...

Fantasy football kicks ass! It's just as addictive as Blogging. Thank God Pro Football is only played on Sundays and one game on Monday night. Except on Thanksgiving where there are three games. And then towards the end of the season when they have Thursday night games and Saturday night games.

SOUL: said...

yep.. i been up... and busy all morning already. i see a rough day on the way. :((


austere: Whoops you snuck in there...Sorry!!! :)
Yeah, it was quite a show...:)

Captain: You and Bigdogg could compare notes...:) He's pretty pumped up about it. Very humorous comment!!

to your cyst: Mr. soul Cyst, you are required in crustyland to get out of tiny birdie bats soulful mouth-NOW!
Has it left yet? :)


SOUL: said...

unfortunately, no.


Fly up here, hang out in sauntering franks office, and then we'll wave our wonder woman rope and POOF it'll be gone.

SOUL: said...

wonder woman makes me gag... if you want to join the super hero clan.. we will just have to think of somethin else...i got it.. BIRDMAN!!! wasnt there a birdman? ask bigdogg

Portia said...

i think we have the same bathmat. white shag, have a blue one too. only i think they came from ikea...
by the way, you had me cracking up with this one..and i rarely laugh out loud at my desk, lest someone catch on to the fact that i'm not knee deep in real estate contracts over here:)
i had a moment of peace on the same night...i went to write a little bit, and it was over before i got a whole sentence down! such is the life of a mommy i guess:)


Soul: How come you don't like wonder woman? I still have my underoo's from her!! :)
There was a birdman..but perhaps I can settle for Catwoman? heehee..meow tweet tweet..naww,..that won't work, I hate conflict...Guess I'm back to Alfred, right??

Portia: It wouldn't surprise me if we do have the same bathmat..we' are so parellel it's freaky!!'s always a mission, isn't it? But sometimes that one written quiet moment sentence is all we can get in. I'm lucky that Bigdogg will give me my time to do what I love (THIS!!!) and he'll manage the whippersnappers as I rattle and type away.
Chuckle softly cause then they'll think you're going crazy and they'll leave you a lone in your work space. mawwwhahhhahhhhaaaHAaaaa~!!