Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I,...

I,.....
keep my Grandparent's number saved in my home phone and cell phone directory not because I don't know their number, but because whenever Gramma calls my house my Grandpa's name pops up--even though he passed away Jan 14th 2003. So it reminds me of him.

I,....
save voicemails from relatives and friends when they're extra adorable and precious because I want to hold onto something in case the "something" should come and take them away from me. Just so I can hear their voice after they're gone. Like from Brian's Grandpa, our boys Poppy, who was born February 19th 1922.

I,....
never used to understand why it seemed that my mom appeared annoyed when I was a little girl and I woke up just as early as she did, so I could have some alone time with her(five kids you take what you can get). Although I'm sure it wasn't annoyance and more so constant sacrifice and giving and minimal alone time, yet I now understand because when my boys wake up before I've had a good amount of quiet time, I get annoyed and I show it.

I,...
always imagine running through the library screaming at the top of my lungs, and the thought of it, the visual in my mind makes me want to actually go through with it and do it.

I,...
would rather clean the toilets in my home then fold and put away laundry. This is coming from someone that has four penises to wipe up after too!

I,...
love organizing and even my inbox files reflect that much.

I,....
love to re-arrange things in my home. Matter of fact just last week I rearranged my living room, dining room, a recent kitchen rearrange from a few weeks ago and last Friday, my family room.
Not always because I crave change, but more so as a distraction. From when I injure myself or physically don't feel good. For example, last Friday we held an anniversary party at my home for my parents-it was to celebrate their 35th wedding anniversary that would take place August 17th, but they were going away on a trip and wouldn't be here so we did it on Friday. While I was crawling in the crawl space pulling things out, I nailed the "soft spot" on the top of my head against the beam of the house. I cried and felt sick, had a headache and felt really weird. It hurt.
So to distract myself from the pain, I changed around the family room and by doing so, I felt better.

I,...
thought I was pregnant about a week or so ago. Only it was thought to be a tubal pregnancy because of the symptoms I was having. Like being 2 weeks late with Pam, and having severe pain on the left ovary, being sick to my stomach and gagging without puking. Only after they drew blood, inserted a catheter in me to drain my urine, fill my bladder back up with an entire bottle of the sterile saline solution to do an ultrasound, drain it again after holding it for 15minutes, and then an internal ultrasound, my Gyne determined that thankfully I wasn't having an ectopic pregnancy. But we did discover other abnormalities that we are on a wait and see now with it. Possibly nothing more then endometriosis although to my knowledge that doesn't run in my family, possibly something else, we just have to wait for the next few Pam cycles to see if there are any more issues.

I,....
wish in a way that I had been having a tubal pregnancy because then it would've been handled with surgery, I'd heal and time would improve every thought that may or may not have run through my head, but it wasn't. So now we don't know. Sometimes knowing isn't such a bad thing after all.

I,....
was told by my Gyne that he has seen cases where women do get pregnant (a viable pregnancy) after having their tubes tied. Have I ever told you guys that I got pregnant with Jackson while on the pill?

I,....
have daydreams of having the opportunity to say hello to every single registered person in the state of Illinois--screw that, the entire US Of A. Wonder if that's feasible?

I,....
would be a fabulous paramedic but I would be a horrible ambulance driver. Which means I could never be a paramedic as much as I would love to be because ever since I became a mom my phobia's of speed in cars have grown to the point where my amazing husband and close close friends avoid having me as their passenger because I AM SUCH A FREAK and so TERRIFIED of being in a car crash. I couldn't drive an ambulance at top speeds are you kidding me? I'd be administering O2 to myself instead of the P.I.N (patient in need).

I,...
just made up P.I.N. I don't know what they refer to ambulance riders. It sounded good, didn't it?

I,....
really want to be a nurse working in the ER or in ICU

I,....
really don't want this to go on too long, so I'm done for now.

Welcome To Crustybeef~
Wanna share what your "I's" are?

13 comments:

Kelly Jene said...

I,
Love Crusty! I'm with you on cleaning boy toilets over folding laundry. I'm so sorry you're dealing with body issues. Before my tubal reversal, I knew the statistics to getting preg with tubes tied. It was like 1 in 1000. Not a bad statistic. Though tubal pregnancies are not fun, easy, or preferred. I'm glad you don't have that. The pain is astronomical.

Love you.

Martha said...

I...am really inspired to do this on my blog, but I'm just too tired tonight! Maybe tomorrow. Probably tomorrow.

austere said...

:)

Ooooh. Well. It'll get done ok, ok?

I really smiled at that Hi line, all the people in the state. :)

You have worked as a nurse before or assisted one- how do I remember that?

Loved that part about voicemails. I collect shopping lists that my Dad writes out.

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Austie: I worked as a surgical aid/tech in the OR back when I was 19+..but to be a nurse I have to get my nursing certificate and I'm overwhelmed at the process.

I like your grocery note thing from your dad--is it because of his handwriting or because of what he requests that you want to cherish?

Always,
E

CRUSTYBEEF said...

TODAY I CRIED WHILE PACKING HIS LUNCH AT ABOUT 6:30am. I just got "the lump" and burst into tears and, well, let's just hope that his lunch isn't soaked. :(

but it'll be okay
-someday

Me

fiwa said...

I...
loved this post.

I...
am sorry you are scared. Try not to worry about it too much, worry isn't good for you.

I...
will come fold your laundry if you will clean my toilet.

$teve said...

I...really enjoy your blog. JLee mentioned you and I'm glad that I checked it out. I'll be sure to stop by. Loved the "Can I see your China?" story. :)

Portia said...

I love it!

I save extra cute voicemails too. Sometimes it gives me a lift to listen to them again.

I love to rearrange my home...only I think it is that part of me craves change.

I'm sorry you're going through more pain and wondering what's going on with your body. I hope you find some answers soon.

I absolutely LOVE your imagination! Whether you are running through the library in my mind, or creating new anagrams (PIN), it's such a lively kind of beauty.

I'd love to do an I... post...we'll see if I can muster one up;)

Cheryl said...

I love your imagination too. What a great meme!

Sorry about more PAM issues. You've been dealing with PAM stuff for a while. I can see why you would think surgery would be welcome.

CrystalChick said...

I... really liked this post.
I... will try to remember to do it sometime.
I... would love to say hello to everyone everywhere too!

Happy day! Mary :)

Susan said...

I....get gas after every lunch that I have veggie soup.

gotta poop

JLee said...

I can relate to the time alone thing in the morning, but I'd MUCH rather fold laundry! lol
I hope you're doing ok and they can figure out what's going on with you. Have a great weekend :)

Gypsy said...

I haven't read the posts above me yet which may answer this question, but I do hope you get some answers soon on the PAM issue. Somehow it always seems easier to deal with what we do know rather than what we don't.

This was a great post Elizabeth. I really enjoyed it.